To be surprised at some of the threads that garner acrimonious responses

[chaletdays]

I've just seen another thread, about a fairly tame subject, that has prompted some really nasty replies.

There are certain topics that I know are going to attract very strong responses because they're quite emotive, but AIBU to sometimes be shocked at how some posters kick off and become really unpleasant over something fairly innocuous that you would expect to attract a handful of replies, not a bunfight?

I stayed away from AIBU for quite some time because of the vitriol from some posters.

Often wonder if these people who spit venom and bile on here talk to other people like that in real life. I suspect probably not. As a pp said, they can't say it to the boss so they come on here where they can be spiteful anonymously.

Doesn't make for pleasant reading some of it.

AIBU to re-wash my clothes went like this:

You are a lazy bitch.
Are you a SAHM?
Think of the children living in countries where there's no water.
You are wasting electricity and ending the world.
Oh you must have loads of clothes to be able to do that - do you get tax credits?
Why can't your partner do it?
Why can't your five year old do it?
You are responsible for global warming.

I am always surprise at which posts start kicking off, there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to it

I once put a emicon next to a post to show that I was confused and was then accused of pulling faces!!

The balloon thread was absolutely weird. I'd never heard there was a shortage of helium so when I saw virtually the first answer was "You are ruining the world you selfish cow" or similar I felt like I was being thrown into a parallel universe.

Oh!

Actually, that sounds about right. I made the mistake if saying I loved my tumble drier once. Some oddbod had a right go - post after post - I tried to crack a joke but she wouldn't let it go. I actually felt like cutting down a forest. The upshot was I should peg out the washing before work and it was just tough really if I came home from work and it'd be rained on. Or if it was raining before work. So that told me.

Agree with Egged. (All of it)
I started a seemingly innocuous thread and somebody reported it. I thought wtf!! There's no need to worry about any of it though. It's all just words on a page. A lot of these sort posters are closet (overt!!) bullies who hide behind anonymity. There's a lot of good advice and support on MN but AIBU is usually claws at dawn and sometimes good fun.

One of the problems of late, I think, is smart phones - threads show up in active convos and some posters treat them all like AIBU. So someone will post about something, saying they want a safe space to talk about their issues, and a bunch of complete fuckers pile on as if it was AIBU.

And yy to the weirdest of issues. There's always someone who has to be contrary for the sake of it. I posted a thread on children's pants of all things, saying "brand X makes DS uncomfortable, anyone got suggestions for any others". I got loads of helpful responses (especially from parents whose children had sensory issues), then one response saying "well, I use brand X and they're fine, so you must be buying the wrong size." I mean, who in their right minds would want to use a thread about buying pants to be a mardy cow on? [puzzled]

I think if HQ decided to vapourize AIBU the unpleasantness would just occur throughout the rest of the forum because it is the nature of online fora that this happens. Some have stricter moderation so everything looks all lovely and smiley and rainbows and bunny-hops and ice creams - but the passive aggressive shit that goes on is almost worse in a way!
Recently I was directed by someone else to go look at the MSE fora - especially the Competitions one where if you so much as look at someone funny they all burst into tears, have a communal nervous breakdown and the giver of the funny look gets a yellow card and a kick in the twat for upsetting them! So really - I think I prefer it this was.

Oh - and OP - take a long low flying fuck at a sweaty sock with your opinion!!

It seems to be all the inconsequential stuff that really riles some people.
I will never go into detail about how laundry gets done in this house as I know it would be poorly received.

It also drives me mad when people do the YABU thing on non AIBU threads.

I actually felt like cutting down a forest.

It is interesting how an innocuous topic can morph into a critique of the OP's life choices. Lunchbox ones somehow end up being the worst..

OP asks if their DC's school is being draconian in banning raisins from lunchboxes
Posters 2 and 3 say 'blimey, you should see what some of the children in my DC's school rock up with"
Poster 4 says yes
Poster 5 mentions that it may have more to do with allergies than healthy eating
OP says that makes sense.
Poster 6 insists that their DCs do six hours of cross-country running before school and need lots of food in their lunchboxes - how would the school accommodate that if they couldn't eat a measly Wagon Wheel to keep them going?
Poster 7 hoicks bosom and insists that their DCs do eight hours of cross-country running and a cross-fit session before school and never need more than flaxseed hummus and a single carrot stick to keep them going. OP's DC, and Poster 6's DCs, are clearly clinically obese and they're all in denial about it.
Poster 8 notes that raisins are 'basically junk food' and it's small wonder that there's an obesity crisis when we feed our DCs this crap because it was never like this in the 70s.
Poster 9 mentions tersely that in the 70s they had a fish supper every breaktime and they were never obese.
Poster 10 assumes a saintly expression and says that their DCs wouldn't know what a Wagon Wheel was if it appeared in their lunchbox, which it never would.
OP is confused...

The MSE site is awful. Someone will go on there trying to save a bit of money and they all pile on her and it turns out they are all bankrupt and she's just trying to cut down her spending by a tenner a week. The poster tries saying, "No, I don't actually owe anyone anything" but it makes no difference. Pile on, beat up then go and have a cup of tea, knowing you've made someone else feel awful.

I so agree with you OP. I have just crept out of the one about poor customer service in Sports Direct as i completely agreed with the OP. However the consensus seems to be that it is absolutely fine to act like a knobhead and give shit service if you are on a zero hours contract.

Some people are very passionate about things - I think a study of internet forums would be fascinating.

If names were taken away, could you match up posts to the same user?

If you had a collection of posts from different threads, could you match them to users?

I know some subjects get people passionate. But some people get passionate about the strangest things.

Then this happens..

I agree Orlando. I've locked horns before with an OP who is positively unhinged on the subject of SUVs, but sounds perfectly rational on other threads.

The best thing I've learnt is to disengage and hide threads. Debate is good but if people are quite frankly offensive, dismissive, lacking in empathy and when they gang up,that's when it's time to quit.

Just like you would in RL

vlad cashew - its exactly that - and - its all your fault for going to Sports Direct - when you should just go to John Lewis

at fish supper every break time in the 70s and we were never obese.

I'm often surprised at how irate people get. I particularly hate the 'if that's all you've got to worry about...' type responses - so presumptuous and rude.

There was once a bun fight in style and beauty over facecream or something - it was all strained politeness 'I think you'll find actually, if you do your research, that boswellox reduces your pore size....' kind of thing. I laughed for ages.

I know Kurri. I remember commenting once that I thought it was sad that children nowadays didn't get to experience something or other and I had a couple of posters jumping down my throat asking me if that was the only thing I had to feel sad about in relation to children and I must have lead a very sheltered life if so. Sad? Really? Sad?

Some people just use Mumsnet as a cat scratching board.

I'm still traumatised by the carnage I witnessed over the rinsing the pots as you wash them or not thread.

I've learnt a lot from AIBU. Notably taking your shoes off when you enter someone's house can make you appear 'common' and something to do with loo brushes. And the word loo too...

As we speak, people are fighting on the tampons thread about class, having welcoming/disgusting houses etc. etc.