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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at some of the threads that garner acrimonious responses

76 replies

chaletdays · 21/05/2015 11:46

I've just seen another thread, about a fairly tame subject, that has prompted some really nasty replies.

There are certain topics that I know are going to attract very strong responses because they're quite emotive, but AIBU to sometimes be shocked at how some posters kick off and become really unpleasant over something fairly innocuous that you would expect to attract a handful of replies, not a bunfight?

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 21/05/2015 14:21

The ones that annoy me are the ones berating the OP for having made a decision in the past which has eventually lead to whatever it is they are posting about now, when what they want is advice on the current situation.

So for example "the DCs are eating me out of house and home now they eat adult portions, where can I make some savings", "well, you knew before you chose to have children that they would grow into adults, get a grip"

ImperialBlether · 21/05/2015 14:21

Sometimes on S&B someone will link to the most horrible clothes and I spend a minute thinking what the response would have been if they'd posted it on AIBU.

WalterMittyish · 21/05/2015 14:24

The tampons thread has entered a whole different stratosphere, derxa. WFT is going on there?! Confused

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 21/05/2015 14:30

Huh? How can a tampon thread go bad? Isn't it just "mine are on show, no-one's bothered", "mine are in a cupboard, it's tidier, no-one's bothered".

That's what it was when I last looked - what's happened?

ladymariner · 21/05/2015 14:31

Well, I think you're all being VVVVVU, every last sodding one of you, haven't you got anything better to do, and for gods sake, won't someone think of the children???? Especially the babieeeees.......

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 21/05/2015 14:36

That's not the first time a tampin thread has gone bad, there was someone a while back who had been berated IRL for not having a basket of guest sanpro, it all got very competitive as people described their guest rooms replete with everything a guest could possibly need, and those who don't have sanpro because there were no pre-menopausal females in the house were told it was no excuse for being so inhospitable.

cleoteacher · 21/05/2015 14:42

My lighthearted thread about childcare costs of a friend in the MOD has had some horrible responses. I was only wondering about it.

LurcioAgain · 21/05/2015 14:43

It's a while since we've had one of the AIBU to let my toddler eat an apple from a packet with a bar code which can be scanned at the checkout before we've paid to keep them quiet while we go round the supermarket? Those usually unleash world war III.

Original poster
chaletdays · 21/05/2015 14:46

What an insensitive comment Lurcio. People died in world wars. They're no joking matter Angry

OP posts:
whitecandles · 21/05/2015 14:50

There's one just now where a poster bumped and someone said 'er why did you bump so quickly' and the OP was like er I just did it because xyz and the other poster got properly mad and 'watch your mouth SWEETHEART'.

Chill, like.

NKfell · 21/05/2015 14:54

Posting in AIBU is like flipping a coin...but more dangerous...perilous coin flipping.

It's been useful to me a couple of times and you do get some genuinely helpful replies...In one of mine I had a lot of yanbu's a few yabu's and then got told me and my kids need counselling... Hmm

m0therofdragons · 21/05/2015 14:55

I used chat to ask a simple question. Most posts were helpful and showed both sides but a couple were ott. My dc are apparently going to burn to death in a hotel fire and it's all my fault even though I made it clear I wasn't going to do what would lead to this. I gave up.

WalterMittyish · 21/05/2015 14:57

Yeah, that's EXACTLY how that went, whitecandles. Word for made-up word Hmm

Miggsie · 21/05/2015 15:04

I've often read posts and thought "you mad deluded bint" - but I tend not to actually post that, as it very rude, and also unhelpful.

Some people do have very weird standards - I think it's the two ends of the spectrum that remind you the world is full of different people: those threads that are so judgmental and vicious compared to the threads where people are so desperately trying to be forgiving and perfect that you wonder how they haven't got every con man in Britain camping on their doorstep.

NKfell · 21/05/2015 15:05

I saw the bump thing and I saw both sides- I understood OP bumped because she was desperate for answers BUT then it seemed some people jumped on walter a bit then walter reacted a bit but then OP did too.

I think that thread does highlight the dangers of AIBU!

Anniegetyourgun · 21/05/2015 15:06

Iirc I've only ever started 2 threads in AIBU. One, several years ago now, was a lighthearted one about Marmite on toast and had the expected polarization of taste, complete with humorous hyperbole, and the occasional good suggestions about (a) other things Marmite could be served on/in and (b) other things that could be on toast. So that was nice. On the other one there was a bit of a pile-on and a couple of posters opined that my children should be taken away, apparently entirely seriously. OK then...

I'm not afraid to start another thread if I were to feel the need, but I do know if it's in AIBU there is every possibility that it will get very, very silly and not necessarily in a good way.

JessiePinkman · 21/05/2015 15:10

Some people just use Mumsnet as a cat scratching board. Grin love it Grin
please someone enlighten me, why do you appear common if you take your shoes off I missed that and need to know!!

WalterMittyish · 21/05/2015 15:18

Funny thing is, I have many less than ideal qualities: I can be judgmental, snarky, condescending - but one thing I'm not is passive aggressive. If I think you're a twat I'll tell you that I think you're a twat. And if I have a question about something I don't understand (such as bumping a thread that's still at the top of the page in less time than it would take most people to read and type out a response), then I'll ask that question.

Of course, NO ONE mentioned me wishing the OP good luck (because no doubt that was me being PA again, I assume).

God bless this nest of vipers and all who bitch in her Grin

whitecandles · 21/05/2015 15:55

The thing is though, most people couldn't give a shite if you think they're a twat or not. So why make someone else's day worse when you could just keep your mouth shut?

OrlandoWoolf · 21/05/2015 16:00

What an insensitive comment Lurcio. People died in world wars. They're no joking matter

I can't tell if you're being serious or not.

People use "it's like a world war " as a metaphor for lots of stuff. I don't think anyone is being insensitive by saying that.

Some comments do seem to ignite WW3 on here - all hell is let loose.

OrlandoWoolf · 21/05/2015 16:01

And if that is a serious comment - it's somewhat ironic given your OP.

AIBU to sometimes be shocked at how some posters kick off and become really unpleasant

WalterMittyish · 21/05/2015 16:10

Figure of speech whitecandles, a way of saying that I don't hide my views behind passive aggression. I tend not to call people twats. But I don't hide behind passive aggression when being straightforward prevents misunderstanding or ambiguity.

Have I done something to rile you? (That, too, is a genuine question, without a ulterior agenda or hidden meaning).

whitecandles · 21/05/2015 16:15

Not at all, why would you have?

I just find it amusing when people get all 'calm the fuck down, sweetcheeks' or whatever. It comes across really weird to me.

AryaUnderfoot · 21/05/2015 16:27

I find it's the 'time off in term time' threads that are the most unpredictable in terms of response.

Half the time the OP is told that they should take the time off, that 'it' will be a wonderful and enriching experience and that their DC will learn so much from it.

Half the time the OP is told that they're being totally unreasonable and acting like a 'special snowflake'.

It's a toss of the coin as to which response they get. Maybe it's down to time of day and how much alcohol the average lonely MNer has consumed on a Friday night.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 21/05/2015 16:27

LurcioAgain
It's a while since we've had one of the AIBU to let my toddler eat an apple from a packet with a bar code which can be scanned at the checkout before we've paid to keep them quiet while we go round the supermarket? Those usually unleash world war III.

I suppose this isn't the time to say that really fucks me off? Grin. Just quickly nip to a self service till and put that one item through if you really have nothing to occupy your kids with for 15 minutes.

Not a lot arses me so I'm generally bewildered by AIBU, but I get irrationally annoyed by that.

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