Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be happy with this?

130 replies

mickeyfartpants · 20/05/2015 20:12

DM had my DD today - 4yrs. She let her go upstairs to the toilet on her own while there was a decorator in the room next to the toilet. Obviously she cannot lock the door so potentially the door could have been open the whole time with a half naked child on the toilet. DD told us when we get in from work that she'd had a chat with the decorator on the landing.

No bad came of it, granted. But when I've mentioned to my Mum that I'd rather she went to the toilet with DD if there was a stranger in the house, her reaction is to say that its fine because the guy has his own kids, she was downstairs the whole time and then put my brother on to tell me that I'm being silly about all. We don't really know this man, and even if we did, I'd rather my toddler wasn't put in a vulnerable position.

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
londonrach · 20/05/2015 20:48

Yabu!

Libitina · 20/05/2015 20:49

Since when is a 4 year old a toddler?

Gralick · 20/05/2015 20:50

It's not just the decorator danger, what if there'd been an earthquake and DD was upstairs with her pants down and only a roller-wielding stranger to save her? What if your mum had a stroke and DD came down to find her? She'd call the decorator, and what might happen then?? What if the water tank broke and the ceiling fell down on DD, or the decorator's ladder fell on top of DD just as she was coming out of the bathroom? OMG. Best not let her out of your sight until she's at least 45, OP.

Wink
wigglesrock · 20/05/2015 20:54

I've had a plumber, a plasterer and a joiner in my house all week and my 4 year old has went to the toilet herself on the same floor as them. She has also played in her bedroom alone in the room beside them.

tywinlannister · 20/05/2015 20:57

I think OP is annoyed that the DM didn't minimise the opportunity for something to happen rather than suggesting the decorator did anything.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 20/05/2015 21:00

If she is worried about her mother not 'minimising risk' the question would be whether her mother ever left her DD in a room alone. The idea that going for a wee is somehow 'different ' is worryingly naive. (You accompany children to loos in public because they are semi - private spaces, which is no different to a bedroom at home).

306235388 · 20/05/2015 21:00

I have a 4 year old daughter and wouldn't see this as a problem at all. I'd remind her to shut the door but that's it.

I think referring to her as a toddler maybe shows you baby her a little bit? Sorry OP.

maroonedwithfour · 20/05/2015 21:02

I agree with you op

AoifeBell · 20/05/2015 21:06

Gary Glitter has his own kids too does you DM know that?

YDNBU!

howah · 20/05/2015 21:08

Especially after all the AIBU's I have read on here about workmen stealing knickers etc I am even more adamant YANBU.

MrsCs · 20/05/2015 21:08

YABU

quietasamouse · 20/05/2015 21:14

I think it's understandable that you felt uneasy. We are here to protect our children.

However, if we totally smothered our children they'd have no life at all, so we just have to learn to take risks.

VelvetRose · 20/05/2015 21:14

I think this is quite tricky. If I have a work person (male or female) in my class toilets I wouldn't be allowed to let my kids use the toilet while they were working to protect both the work person and the children. That seems like a sensible rule to me. It's different to having someone in your own home but it's not that different. I can see your point op.

FaFoutis · 20/05/2015 21:19

I don't think you are being silly at all. I would feel the same.

Valsoldknickers · 20/05/2015 21:19

YANBU. I am a worrier but IMO you are entirely justified. It's a long time since my DC1 was a PFB but I would still feel the same with my younger DC's today.

TheReluctantCountess · 20/05/2015 21:22

Does your mum know the decorator? Is he a friend or someone she has used before?

daisychain01 · 20/05/2015 21:24

I don't expect that he thought, oh I'll become a decorator just to get unlimited access to unwitting children alone on the bog

I can't stop laughing at this mickey.

It's natural to feel worried when you see and hear all sorts of terrible things on the news. But the chances of anything bad happening in the scenario you described, are probably 1,000,000 : 1 against.

Original poster
mickeyfartpants · 20/05/2015 21:32

I know, I know. But with camera phones and everything I just feel like any moment like that could be a bit iffy. So for me, I would never take that risk.

OP posts:
VelvetRose · 20/05/2015 21:33

I don't think you should feel silly for feeling like that at all.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 20/05/2015 21:35

OP - you haven't answered whether you would have a similar issue if she went to collect a toy unsupervised?

CrapBag · 20/05/2015 21:38

OP you are right.

Sometimes I think people seem to be too caught up with the 'not a paedophile on every corner' attitude.

Chances are he is completely fine, but do you now what, paedophiles are opportunistic and have jobs. It is our job to protect our children and minimise these chances.

I don't see the difference between doing this and letting your child use a public toilet alone, which many people won't let their children do. Your mum wasn't upstairs with her, your dd was alone with a stranger regardless of where they were.

CrapBag · 20/05/2015 21:40

I've just clocked your user name OP. Grin Love that film!

I wouldn't let my child upstairs to play with workmen here either, and I didn't when we were getting our bathroom done to those who are asking the OP.

SoupDragon · 20/05/2015 21:49

Would you feel the same of the decorator was a woman?

Original poster
mickeyfartpants · 20/05/2015 21:49

Yes. I would feel exactly the same.

OP posts:
PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 20/05/2015 21:54

What are you going to do when your child starts school and wants to go on play dates? Your call how cautious you are, but that isn't far off. She isn't a toddler.

Swipe left for the next trending thread