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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have my tampons on display?

447 replies

ElleGrace · 20/05/2015 13:45

Hi there,
This is actually my first post on here (despite me being an avid mumsnetter for the past 5+ years!) so bare with!
Basically, OH and I have recently moved in to a new place together and are having a ridiculous rather silly debate over whether or not it is socially acceptable to have (unused) tampons on display in the bathroom.
To my way of thinking, anyone who enters our home will be perfectly aware that I, a woman, have a menstrual cycle and therefore use some form of feminine product in my bathroom. The only hidden storage we have in the bathroom is on the opposite side of the room to the toilet, which is an inconvenience to get to. Therefore, I have a glass jar of tampons on the shelf right next to the toilet, alongside many other glass jars filled with cotton buds, cotton pads, candles etc. IMO, there is no difference in seeing a tampon in the bathroom than seeing something like a cotton bud.
On the other hand, my OH argues that although people are aware I use tampons, they don't really need to see proof of it. He compared it to having a jar of condoms in the bathroom.
I understand this is a really ridiculous argument, but it really got me thinking as to whether I should really have to hide my feminine products in my own home, or as to whether I'm simply being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.
I'd love to hear your opinions on this trivial matter, and I'd also like to know whether your products are hidden from view too.

OP posts:
ThursdayLast · 20/05/2015 16:05

Oh no, I hate toilets that don't have at least one spare toilet roll in them!

I'm always convinced I'll be the one to finish the roll before the host notices to get another one out of hiding Grin

SuperFlyHigh · 20/05/2015 16:05

IamtheDevils - I suppose when I was younger my mum didn't exactly make me hide sanpro (hate that term but quicker to type!) but it was certainly considered verboten to have them on display used or not (of course I ensured they were covered in toilet paper etc).

My stepdad and younger brother were surprisingly open about that sort of thing and my stepdad on one of his trips (when I think i was off school) for work (he worked with model ships so Portsmouth, Mary Rose etc) when he was going to take me ensured there were loo breaks so I could change sanpro (I remember not wanting to go because of this but was assured afterwards).

but Iam - that is GREAT re you showing others the sanpro - I mean honestly it's like they expect us to have leaves in huts sometimes isn't it?! Grin

Gottagetmoving · 20/05/2015 16:05

If it bothers her OH so much, then he could always get a patterned box and transfer them, couldn't he?

Yes, he could but then he probably would not do that without her consent.

TheClacksAreDown · 20/05/2015 16:05

When I was younger I seem to recall one of the manufaturers made a giant selling point of the fact that the packaging of their product was such that if they fell out of your handbag people won't realise what they were. Looking back I think that is quite a damaging message - implying that sanitary products are shameful and you must go to great lengths to avoid people knowing that you need them.

WeirdCatLady · 20/05/2015 16:06

I've got the coil fitted so don't need them but in dd's bathroom she has a good selection sitting out on a stool (two different tampon sizes and two different pads). For us it's just the same as having loo roll in the bathroom.

My mother never spoke about "ladies issues" (a direct quote) but my Dad was a trooper, he'd happily pop off to the chemist if we ever ran out. It think my mother would have fainted, like Aunt PittyPat in Gone with the Wind, if I even mentioned it Hmm

Floggingmolly · 20/05/2015 16:07

Nobody wants to look at loo roll displays. On ds2's 6th birthday; one of his friends arrived accompanied by his mum, who chose to stay.
I didn't actually open the door that time; so I was unaware until later that she had gone shopping on the way, bought a giant pack of bog rolls (there must have been at least 50 of the bloody things) and left it in the middle of my hall.
Which is basically a narrow passage; so all further guests had to shimmy past the bog roll mountain on the way in. That was fucking weird.

Mutley77 · 20/05/2015 16:11

I keep them on the floor next to the toilet in our en suite during my period as that's where I generally use them! If friends might be going in and out i would rather have them in a cupboard than on display, not hard to take one from a cupboard on the way to the toilet so just my way of doing things... As it is I generally get one from my handbag on my way to the toilet if I'm using the guest toilet but might start keeping some pads in there (in the cupboard under the basin) for dd and her friends just incase as they are of that age.

PlumpingThePartTimeMother · 20/05/2015 16:13

Mine live on top of the one storage option in our bathroom and I fret about them being too visible Blush I grew up in a rather prim house, though!

Our (male) DC think they're hilarious and used to strew them about the house. DH seemed amused by this, if anything less bloody amused when I pointed out how much they cost and how many had been destroyed by the stamping

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 20/05/2015 16:20

Joking apart I think as women we have an absolute duty to be open about BEING A WOMAN. To avoid these heartbreaking accounts:

"When I was a young teenager I found periods really difficult. I couldn't get past what I considered my now useless leaky body. This was made worse by a mother who also carried on like having a period was a curse to be shouldered like a dirty secret. It didn't help that I was anorexic and it felt like my whole body was against me.

I can't tell you what a fucking eye opening relief it was to go to a friends house and see a pack of tampons sat there (unopened) on the kitchen worktop. With her Dad in the same room and brothers, no less! It was such a small thing but I felt like I'd been gifted a glimpse into a non-anxious persons reality of living with a female body.

Gruntfuttock · 20/05/2015 16:21

I don't agree with all those saying that if your tampons are not on display it's because you're ashamed of a normal bodily function. I kept them in the bathroom cupboard along with spare loo rolls, unopened shampoo, toothpaste etc. Not because I'm ashamed of using any of those items, but because I don't see the point of cluttering up bathroom shelves when there's a cupboard to keep them in.

tbtc · 20/05/2015 16:27

When I was younger I seem to recall one of the manufaturers made a giant selling point of the fact that the packaging of their product was such that if they fell out of your handbag people won't realise what they were. Looking back I think that is quite a damaging message - implying that sanitary products are shameful and you must go to great lengths to avoid people knowing that you need them.

There have been lots of threads on here before about embarrassing period moments. Pulling tampons instead of pens out of a bag in a meeting, leaking onto a chair.

Not wanting everyone to know you're having a period isn't always about shame, it can be about privacy and modesty. It's blood from your vagina - normal, natural, nothing to be ashamed of, but still a private matter.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/05/2015 16:30

IAm - I think I was lucky in that my mum didn't want me to hide sanpro but she was of (until I spoke to her very recently) the ilk that periods were fine, she had no PMS etc... and was flummoxed by me with my heavier periods, PMS (severe) and boobs - compared to her and her mum's (my nana's) fried egg (their words!) boobs!

I do remember on a couple of occasions at night occasionally I may have (in my tired state) forgotten about blood dripping... (yes nice I know!) and got a slight bolloxing from my mum... yet the dog was allowed to merrily go around the house/garden dripping blood when it was on! Hmm

Thank goodness you are not the woman in your 'quote' IAm - I do think sanpro ads on the TV and in magazines etc have helped to dispel the myth to all and sundry (men and boys) that periods and sanpro are normal.

Grunt - right now I don't have a bathroom cabinet (there's a shelf with laundry products and sheets outside the bathroom though). so jar on bath shelf (at end of the bath) it'll have to be for my snazzy new jar then!

Sallystyle · 20/05/2015 16:42

I have my towels on display. I am pretty lazy so can't be arsed to put them away. I also leave shampoo and shower gel on the side of the bath instead of putting them away so I guess I am a slob!

I have never been embarrassed by anyone seeing my sanity products. No more than I am anyone seeing toilet roll.

I use a moon cup and towels. My moon cup lives in a pouch on the window sill.

OnlyLovers · 20/05/2015 16:46

Yes, he could but then he probably would not do that without her consent.

Well, sorry to repeat myself but then perhaps it doesn't bother him that much?

propelusagain · 20/05/2015 16:52

Have any of us who prefer to put tampons in a cupboard even said it is because we are ashamed or embarrassed.

Not at all and I balk at that idea.
It's just that I love my bathroom as a space. We bought our home from a beauty therapist who had designed the house to her taste. The bathroom in particular has a very calming spa feel to it, I loved it whan I first saw it and even more when I bought the house.
It's a fantastic place to relax and pamper myself, it feels luxurious. I don't want to see a box of anything too practical when I am in the room unless I am using it, that includes athlete's foot powder, shaving foam ot tampons.

GobblersKnob · 20/05/2015 16:53

I use very pretty washable towels, they are dried on the washing line in the summer and on the radiator in the winter, guests have most definitely encountered them.

It has also opened up lots of opportunities to discuss what they are with the dc's which I think is a good thing, dd(7) can't wait to get some of her own and has been known to wander around wearing one (usually in a pair of pants on top of her trousers) Grin

Fatmomma99 · 20/05/2015 16:55

Don't know if this will work, but I like this display Smile

to have my tampons on display?
Fatmomma99 · 20/05/2015 16:56

There was one with a tampon as a Christmas decoration too Grin

Original poster
ElleGrace · 20/05/2015 16:58

In a jar makes me think of sweet shop

Blush I do have a bit of an obsession with putting things in jars

I don't understand why anyone would want to keep them in a seethrough jar or seethrough anything. Why is that necessary?
Surely you remember which storage device you keep them in?

Why is it necessary to put them in a frosted jar? They are kept in a glass jar because I think glass jars are pretty and because I like glass jars. And no actually, of the dozen glass jars I have filled with various products I don't remember what is in each jar, with little ones running around they won't stay in the same arrangement and I don't fancy getting up to open each jar and check which one contains my tampons.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 20/05/2015 17:00

Why can the little ones running around reach your glass storage jars? That's an accident waiting to happen...

sebsmummy1 · 20/05/2015 17:01

Fatmomma you wouldn't want to get that wet Grin

BeCool · 20/05/2015 17:02

Your DH's uncomfortablity with sanpro is the things that needs to change here, rather than you responding to his shame at your womanly ways by hiding the tampons.

See it as an opportunity to challenge and change his beliefs.

I say this as someone who grew up in a house where periods etc were never mentioned, sanpro was never seen, nothing really existed, and yes there were women/girls living there. I still double take when I see tampons etc out and about because of this - but I know very well that I need to challenge this embedded ridiculousness in myself, and I do.

ScorpioMermaid · 20/05/2015 17:02

yanbu
i use pads and have to put mine in a drawer in my bedroom (next to the bathroom) and grab one on the way. if I leave them in the bathroom one of my 5 sons will decorate the bathroom walls/floor/bath/everything with them Grin

HesterShaw · 20/05/2015 17:04

The word "sanpro" makes me grind my teeth with fury. AIBU?

(sorry)

Original poster
ElleGrace · 20/05/2015 17:07

Why can the little ones running around reach your glass storage jars? That's an accident waiting to happen...

I described them as glass to get across the transparency. Rest assured, they are a transparent plastic that look like glass.

I feel the need to stress my OH is not a misogynistic pig. He was not saying that he felt embarrassed by my products, he just worries about making other people feel uncomfortable in our home. He doesn't feel it's right for them to think that way, but he is aware that some people do.

OP posts: