To treat my family out of a lottery win.

[Songlark]

I haven't won yet, probably never will but DH and I were discussing who we would treat if we won a few million. He wants to treat all his large family(6 siblings) fair enough even though 2 of them have never really been part of our lives (they'd snub you if they saw you in the street. So I said "and of course I'd treat my brother" (who's loaded but wouldn't snub you in the street, but disinterested in our family) DH thinks my DB shouldn't be treated because he's rich. But I don't see how you can pick and choose. I say just treat the lot of them and then it's fair. Which got me thinking. Who would you all treat or not treat if you won the lottery?

I would want to do any giving anonymously if possible.

Firstly I'd want enough so all my dc could buy a house and we could pay off the mortgage. I don't think I'd move to a bigger house, however it would pay for my dream extension of a library and craft room. I dream about that room as much as I'll ever use it!

After that I would buy a house for my friend and give it to her. But I wouldn't want her to know it was from me. Not because she'd ask for more, I know she wouldn't, but because she'd feel she had to be thankful, and that could change our relationship.

Would I give to our siblings? I don't think so. We've each got one sibling who is well off (and one of those likes to tell everyone how wealthy they are-and they would also be the one to expect more and more) and one less so, but all are more or less comparable with us currently, so not struggling. I think dh would agree with me on that too.
Also if we gave to all our siblings it would be fairly quickly obvious where it came from.

And if we're talking about millions then lots of charity giving. We've several local charities for which £100k would make a huge difference, and they do a fantastic job. However I know they also need to have ongoing funds so maybe a trust fund that pays our regularly would be better for them?

I'd probably use it to fund a program of hunting down spammers and internet scam artists who prey on the vulnerable, desperate and needy.

[adds this one to the list]

There's probably an argument on quality vs equity to be had. Also do you give extra to people you like more but have similar status. Tricky one! Honestly I would find this difficult, my DHs sibling isn't very interested in us and has never been very interested in our DD, but is cash poor and lives with their mum. My sister is financially secure but has 2 kids and although we aren't close our children are and I would rather treat her with a larger amount (and by extention my niblings) than DHs sibling, but I suspect he would disagree saying his siblings need is greater.
Also what of friends - if you are friends with a couple do they get money each and by extension more than a single friend or do you treat the couple as one?

I would make sure my mum had all utilities, food and help she needed paid for. She looked after me, I look after her. If there was any trip she wanted to do, she would do so all expenses paid. She always wanted to go to Canada, so we would both go, she is disabled so her help would travel with her. My mum is top priority. I would buy a house/large apartment in an area I already like and wouldn´t tell a soul about windfall.

I don’t think I’d tell anyone. I have loads of family, so if you’re talking ‘buy them all a house’ it’s not doable (unless I won euro millions). A couple of them are really struggling. Some are really quite well off. Others I don’t really know. I doubt I’d adopt a lavish lifestyle if I did win, so no one would notice. I’d find a way to help to the guys that are on low incomes anonymously. I adore my wider family, and I wouldn’t want the dynamic to change.

I’d keep half and split rest between mine and DH siblings. I love mine dearly so it’s no problem for me. Would make me happy to see them comfortable.

I wouldn't tell any of my family outside the closest.
I would give to my adult children, and perhaps one niece that I have a good relationship with, but apart from that , no.
OH and I have moneygrabbers on both sides.

A lot of you are more generous than me!

£1m I wouldn't tell anyone apart from my mum, and I would buy a new house (around 750 for what I want), and move my mum and step dad into our current house to give security and get them out of their council flat.

£10m+ then I would do as above (probably a bigger house for us!), and then set up accounts for x3 nephews and niece for house deposit / uni costs.

Would have a massive family holiday maybe every other year, that would be for 13.

FIL and MIL are independently rolling in it so they wouldn't accept anything.

Dont speak to my sister so that's easy.

The wider family is far too big, I wouldnt even try to go there without huge arguments.

In my mythical win (I don't enter the lottery) I'd help all my family but help the poorer members more. So my wealthy cousin would get money for a great holiday but his very poor sister would get a house. Etc.

I love this daydream.

The problem is that I would want to be left the hell alone. And I've too many family who would rinse you for your last penny. So while I would want to share, it's pretty impossible to do that and keep it anonymous.

Say you and DP each have a few siblings. So you give them a wedge. That's six people who now know you came into money. Then they have to tell their spouses so well, now that's 12 people that know. Then SIL might tell her mum because how else can she explain the new car when last month she was broke? Mum tells one or two in her family etc so it goes on.

So here's what I'd do if I won the euromillions:
I'd tell everyone I won a small amount on the plus draw - 250k. That way you can explain any accidental slip ups, and by the time you spread 250k around siblings (9 in our family) plus parents it's pretty much gone. I'd reserve some and create a business so that any potential ongoing prosperity can be attributed to that but mostly I'd quietly get on with putting the bulk of it towards charities that are close to our hearts. Keeping even 10m and giving away the rest still sets you and your kids (and GC) up for life, anything else would primarily go towards charities.

I’ve laid awake in bed stressing about who I would give my imaginary winnings to 😂

It stresses me out so much because I’m worried I’ll upset someone in my family. My husband says that if we ever win we won’t tell anyone because my family is the type that would fight over it. We would just treat them to big gifts/trips and let them question where the money came from . I don’t think that would work .

Anyway, we don’t even play the lottery 😂

I wouldn't tell anyone tbh and just treat family members such as siblings on both sides hiding the amount of money that I have won. I would live a double life actually for friends, acquaintances and relatives. Continue renting my current place and have people continue coming there and once they are gone, I'll go back home to my mansion in South Kensington.

I love my parents, but I would not give them money. My dad would just drink it away.

Seven years later did the OP ever win ???? ZOMBIE 🧟‍♀️

Got my list ready:
My kids (obviously)
My two sisters
My two half brothers
Neither of my parents
All my nieces and nephews
My two aunts
One uncle (just a lovely person...he'd spend it on beer and on making his wife happy)
My partner and his mum
My cleaner (because she's the hardest worker I know and a bloody legend)
My sister's husband (because we have a pact...think I'd probably just give him my house)
A handful of about 5 friends. I'd offer to pay off their mortgages, except for my favourite (who owns nothing), I'd buy her a house.

Also, I would help out a lot of people anonymously. I will travel around the world to see where I can invest in girls education and woman's refuge and other health related charities. I like to feel useful and I wouldn't see it as my money once I have a secure home, secure my old age and also secure my dc's future, the rest of the money can go to good causes.

I would give my parents money for an extension for a downstairs bathroom, or a move to a more suitable house. I would give my sibling enough to stop work in their horrible job and to move somewhere with a garden and outbuildings. I would buy me a house in Swaledale, another in north Norfolk, and have staff to keep them beautifully. Including a chauffeur to take me around.

Depends on how much it was. I'm single and have a relatively small family so not too problematic.

Assuming it was a jackpot on the Euro or a significant rollover...

First priority would be to get mum settled into some all singing, all dancing retirement accommodation with everything to her precise specification and lots of social activities.

My two oldest friends....buy a house for one and pay off the other's mortgage.

BiL & SiL - not sure as they're very comfortable and can afford anything they need but they've been great to me and DD, so would maybe pay for them to have a lovely holiday...I'd cover nephew's university costs in full and give my niece an equivalent lump sum.

Would give something to my cousins and their kids...maybe £10k - £25k each.

Nice house for me, enough set aside for DDs uni and a place of her own once finished, plus a car as she's soon to take her driving test. Invest enough so I cam have a good standard of living without ever having to work again.

Any surplus to charitable causes, possibly setting my own.

Oh and I'd take my close and wider group of friends on an epic holiday, and gift them all spending money.

I’m somewhat cynical about those who profess they will give to charity. Camelot interviewed 3,000 lottery winners who were made millionaires and charitable giving doesn’t seem to feature much in the statistics (in the slide).

I would look at the greatest total mortgage amongst my siblings/in-laws and give that amount plus £250k to all of them, so they all get their mortgages paid off plus enough to make a significant difference to their lives. Same for my aunt. All nephews and nieces would get £250k trust fund. My children would have the same and would each have a house bought for them and the rent would put into their account. They could choose to sell the house or live in it when old enough. My husband and I would buy a property everywhere we’ve ever wanted to live and rent them out when not there. We’d donate as much as we could to small grass roots charities and I’d set up a specific charity offering therapy to adult CSA survivors.

Tbf I think it depends how much you win.

A couple of million to a married couple with kids, parents, a couple of siblings apiece plus nieces and nephew's wouldn't go that far.

A Eurorollover of £100m or more to someone in my position would be a ridiculous amount without giving a chunk away.

DD works for a charity so that would get a substantial donation for a start.

I'd treat my close family apart from my brother. We are NC. Yes I could be the better person but if he can't even say hello to me then why should I?

ZOMBIE ALERT! We're going to close this thread now.