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to ask what is the daftest job title you've heard ?

151 replies

mrsfuzzy · 20/05/2015 09:09

my local dustmen [they are all men] are now know as 'community cleansers' eh? and the term 'human resources' always reminds me of organ transplants for some mad reason. what happened to personnel department ? god, i'm getting grumpy in my dotage !

OP posts:
SilverBirch2015 · 21/05/2015 00:00

My DS worked for a vairy naice supermarket shelf-filling when he was at school. Used to make me snigger when he came to say he'd been working in "ambient" that day. Which I gather meant not chilled, fresh or frozen.

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 21/05/2015 00:48

Another former Sandwich Artist here. I am honestly surprised at just how many titles there are in this thread that win the battle hands down. I feel better about my sandwich art now.

TiggeryBear · 21/05/2015 01:07

Some of these are brilliant! I'm rather jealous that I don't have a cool job title. It's either "Removals Coordinator" or "Assistant Transport Assistant" which I suppose is preferable to "Steve's Bitch"!

BalloonSlayer · 21/05/2015 06:58

Stepfather used to be a Titty Clipper.

He worked in an abattoir and had the job of clipping the nipples off the dead pig carcasses. < shudder >

StrumpersPlunkett · 21/05/2015 07:02

Central coordinator - receptionist
Tbh it did seem to make sense as a title

LadyStark · 21/05/2015 08:25

They are all jobs in communications believe it or not!

londonrach · 21/05/2015 08:31

No connection just discovered with googling. Potatoe head, head of the potatoe council. I so want that job!!!!

BlossomTang · 21/05/2015 08:34

That current Mumsnet jobs advert see on RHS of this page for Stella & Dot wanting "Stylists" wtf do they actually want people to do in the post?

AndyWarholsOrange · 21/05/2015 10:10

Our local authority employs an 'Animals dead on highway technician' which seems to involve scraping squashed animals off the road.

catswag · 21/05/2015 10:38

i'm sahm = head of internet operations
Grin

MrsRossPoldark · 22/05/2015 22:11

I think I posted earlier that DH is an Agile Practitioner. He's just corrected me : he's an Agile Coach. That explains it then!

TalkinPeace · 22/05/2015 22:13

"el presidente"
I got away with it for nearly a year

SeenSheen · 22/05/2015 22:24

It's the terrible Americanisation of job titles (along with everything else)! I do wonder how soon before everyone is a vice president of something or other as it appears to replace the word manager over there.

whats4teamum · 23/05/2015 08:40

There was a Hedghog Officer on radio 4 yesterday.

How much of the day can you fill with hedgehog related activity?

LaLaLaaaa · 23/05/2015 08:43

I know the hedgehog officer. Very important job! Grin

nooyearnooname · 23/05/2015 08:48

I worked for a company that had a Director of Space. It was a retailer and basically his job was to decide how the space in stores was used, so it was relevant, but I always used to think of him as being in charge of Outer Space!

FryOneFatManic · 23/05/2015 09:21

NotQuiteSoOnEdge Wed 20-May-15 22:44:08
My friends dad had the title Supreme Allied Commander. He worked for NATO I think, but it always made me laugh, like he was some sci-Fi intergalactic war hero.

Umm, this post is one of the two most senior military posts within NATO. Which means I could probably work out who your friend is quite quickly.

SteveBrucesNose · 23/05/2015 09:33

I know a Penguin Expert. I think he has the worlds best job.

AliceScarlett · 23/05/2015 11:12

Psychological wellbeing practitioner.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 23/05/2015 12:20

I used to work in a library undergoing a lot of work, lots of terms bandied around! Librarian is a protected title, so those who didn't have the certificate were called all kind of things.

My favourite was the suggestion the library be 'rebranded' as a ''Dream Store'.

the official name for me in the pub I used to work in was 'brand hostess'. No thanks, barstaff!

VivienScott · 23/05/2015 12:25

Anything that ends with 'engineer' unless you are actually an engineer, with a proper engineering qualification.

Mandatorymongoose · 23/05/2015 12:57

Alcohol floating support worker.

Just need a swimming pool full of gin and I'm right there...

sportinguista · 23/05/2015 15:04

Creative Room Energiser - saw this once in a job bulletin, me and a colleague thought it sounded kind of like being a Glade Aromaplug or something, but no it is real, not sure what you would have to do though!

Freestyle Podium Dancer - wanted my colleague to apply for a laugh and go and do his dad dancing for them (well it would have definitely been freestyle!).

I did once apply to be a Graphic Designer for a porn company, did get asked if I was broad minded enough Grin

TalkinPeace · 23/05/2015 18:15

National manager, Wind.

Lovely person : cool business card.

MrsRossPoldark · 25/05/2015 19:58

just seen job ad on MN for a 'Community Banker'? Banks just aren't set up for any community benefit these days, but back in the ice age, my Dad had a Bank Manager who actually knew who he was - very much a community banker. Let's have some more of them please!

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