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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask what is the daftest job title you've heard ?

151 replies

mrsfuzzy · 20/05/2015 09:09

my local dustmen [they are all men] are now know as 'community cleansers' eh? and the term 'human resources' always reminds me of organ transplants for some mad reason. what happened to personnel department ? god, i'm getting grumpy in my dotage !

OP posts:
thetroubleis · 20/05/2015 20:08

I used to work with someone who had the title 'Fun Facilitator' and she was a mealy mouthed judgemental miserable cow.

Fizrim · 20/05/2015 20:11

Years ago when t'internet was new and before the job title 'Webmaster' became standard you would see people describe themselves as 'Web Wizard' or 'Web Vixen'. I wanted to be a vixen.

I vetoed a hopefully only half-serious suggestion of Webmistress after seeing the reaction in a meeting. Didn't make people think of HTML!

dangerrabbit · 20/05/2015 20:28

Domestic Violence Perpetrator Trainer.

StillScottish · 20/05/2015 20:33

I work for one of the UK's leading banks.

We have a 'Head of Australia'.

!

Liara · 20/05/2015 20:37

I live in France and regularly used to drive past a panel that said

'joe bloggs. Imaginiste.'

I have never discovered wtf he actually did, and the panel is no longer there so I probably never will, but shall always wonder.

hugoagogo · 20/05/2015 20:37

I used to work with a 'Children's book enthuser'

It looks tame next to 'pig wanker' though Sad

VivaLeBeaver · 20/05/2015 20:42

Chicken sexer.

lampygirl · 20/05/2015 20:49

I once worked with a 'solutions manager' and thought that was pretty ridiculous.

Only way it could be worse was if it was 'solutioneer'...

SanityClause · 20/05/2015 20:50

Head of Australia

Isn't that the Queen?

ememem84 · 20/05/2015 20:56

dh had a typo on his email signature for ages at work Señor Accountant.

TheoriginalLEM · 20/05/2015 21:00

I used to be a Fly Pusher. I used to, well, push flies :)

trollkonor · 20/05/2015 21:03

I used to be a Scrum Master.

Kraggle · 20/05/2015 21:13

I used to be a Customer Service Advisor, my title has now changed to Homechoice Officer. Makes me sound quite important actually!

SouthernComforts · 20/05/2015 21:18

I always think boxers have the best titles. 'Undefeated Champion of the World'? Or have I made that up?

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 20/05/2015 21:40

I was once offered a job as 'chief inspirer'. Took it too but the firm went bust before I started. Can't imagine why....

BiscuitMillionaire · 20/05/2015 22:15

Going downmarket a bit, I just saw a job ad - Asda are looking for a Chilled Colleague.

Are they looking for someone really laid back?

justmyview · 20/05/2015 22:27

"Facilities support supervisors" = school janitors

bensam · 20/05/2015 22:43

I had a painter and decorator once who called himself an interior designer. He was so shit that we had to put it all right ourselves once he left.

NotQuiteSoOnEdge · 20/05/2015 22:44

My friends dad had the title Supreme Allied Commander. He worked for NATO I think, but it always made me laugh, like he was some sci-Fi intergalactic war hero.

MrsRossPoldark · 20/05/2015 22:46

Troll loner: my DH was a Scrum master. Now he's an Agile Practitioner. Still don't know what either is but seem to involve lots of post-it notes?! And he's definitely not agile!

chickenfuckingpox · 20/05/2015 22:47

stretcher - i made cooker coils

MrsRossPoldark · 20/05/2015 22:48

Notquitesoonedge: errrm- I wouldn't make fun of that job title if I were you!

5Foot5 · 20/05/2015 23:03

I used to work for a company who had a team of "Threat Specialists", some of them were even "International Threat Specialists", I would have loved that on a business card.

imwithspud · 20/05/2015 23:38

My OH was once a 'Kitchen Designer' for a cowboy kitchen company (he wasn't aware of how dodgy they were until after he started working there), he was essentially a salesman. Found and applied for the job on the Job Centre website no less Hmm.