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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask what is the daftest job title you've heard ?

151 replies

mrsfuzzy · 20/05/2015 09:09

my local dustmen [they are all men] are now know as 'community cleansers' eh? and the term 'human resources' always reminds me of organ transplants for some mad reason. what happened to personnel department ? god, i'm getting grumpy in my dotage !

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 20/05/2015 15:23

Ambient replenisher sounds like someone in an all-night club in Ibiza. Grin

OTheHugeManatee · 20/05/2015 15:23

HOWLING at 'pig wanker' Grin

Paddingtonthebear · 20/05/2015 15:29

I was a Product Evangelist in the nineties.

IT telesales is what that was.

LoupDeLou79 · 20/05/2015 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notauniquename · 20/05/2015 15:35

I used to know a guy who packaged fudge ready for sale.

SevTSnape · 20/05/2015 15:46

My job title is relatively self explanatory, and my job description covers quite a lot, however, I like to refer to myself as a "glorified copy-and-paster" because that's how most of my working day is spent. I actually really enjoy it Grin

Gingermum · 20/05/2015 15:49

I knew a bouncer who referred to himself as an 'Eviction Technician'.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 20/05/2015 15:57

pig wanker!! [snort]

blueshoes · 20/05/2015 16:17

Lonny, sounds like a lot of fun to work in your bank. No doubt the Gatekeeper's counterpart at the bank would be the Keymaster ...

VelvetRose · 20/05/2015 16:18

"Podium Dancer-Unpaid" Grin

Shodan · 20/05/2015 16:35

Dh was recently headhunted for a role as Chief Evangelist. He's not a minister. He works in IT Confused.

I am a self-styled Director of Domestic Operations. Or dodo, for short. Grin

Allwayslookingforanswers · 20/05/2015 16:50

Product Evangalist, Microsoft use this term, it's awful and the ones I have met are not even specialists...

ThomasRichard · 20/05/2015 17:25

I work for a company that took over an American competitor a few years ago. Since then, the structure and titles have become so Americanised that there's no making head nor tail of them. Previously, everyone at board level was a Director. Now they are Senior Vice Presidents. We also have Deputy Senior Vice Presidents, Vice Presidents, Deputy Vice Presidents, Senior Directors, Directors (now low-level management) and a Managers, who basically scrub the sinks.

wol1968 · 20/05/2015 17:28

One of our managers has the title People Trading Manager.

I always think of slavery. Grin

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 20/05/2015 17:30

I love Director of Better from W1A about the BBC Grin

wol1968 · 20/05/2015 17:32

And my DH's first job at a well known IT company was 'Message Middleware Porter.' It was a specialised programming job and nothing to do with pushing trolleys around or collecting the office post.

pootlebug · 20/05/2015 17:33

In the US offices of the firm I used to work for, a name plaque thing on the main reception desk announced that the person behind it was the 'Director of First Impressions'.

KenDodddied · 20/05/2015 17:41

Scrum master

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/05/2015 17:44

Years ago when t'internet was new and before the job title 'Webmaster' became standard you would see people describe themselves as 'Web Wizard' or 'Web Vixen'. I wanted to be a vixen.

Also in IT; a large bank of servers used to run the intranet was k own as the webfarm. Someone who worked there listed their job title in the internal directory as 'Farm Hand'. Always made me smile Grin.

MummaV · 20/05/2015 17:47

I used to be an Animal Wrangler (local theme park's way of saying, underpaid teen giving pony rides and doing rabbit handling with snotty nosed kids).

I am currently an Operational Support Administrator -supposedly doing the admin for the operations managers and supporting them in their day to day duties. Actually: dogsbody for the entire management staff and fallguy for missing paperwork!

We also have a 'Cheif Assigner' who's job is essentially to make sure that everyone else has work to do.

daisychain01 · 20/05/2015 18:16

Transparent Wall Maintenance Engineer

Window cleaner - OK I made that one up.

hollyisalovelyname · 20/05/2015 18:21

My mum was the Minister for Home Affairs.
Job description by my dad.
She didn't work outside the home.

SlightlyJaded · 20/05/2015 18:28

I once had a meeting with someone who organised corporate parties and 'team building' events.

His business card said:

Jim Bloggs
Facilitator of Fun

He was a twat.

LadyStark · 20/05/2015 19:14

I work in a sector with lots of silly titles;

Angel of Disruption
Culture Ninja
Collaboration Consultant
Chief Happiness Officer

These are a handful that I've seen recently on a delegate list.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/05/2015 19:56

I want to be an Angel of Disruption!

What the hell sector do you work in LadyStark Confused?