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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what you do with your kids after school?

28 replies

Joolsy · 19/05/2015 16:45

I have 2 DDs, age 6 and 11. I am starting to feel like they don't really 'need' me to play with them any more (esp DD1 obviously!). We tend to get in from school, have a snack, then they'll play on the computer together for an hour or so. Up to a couple of months ago DD2 and I would play together for another hour or so but lately she's been happy doing her own thing & when I suggest something to do together she's not really interested. Just wondering what other families do & whether I should just let them be independent, but leave it up to them if they want to do something with me - feeling a bit redundant lately!

OP posts:
ChampagneBabyCakes · 19/05/2015 16:52

You sound lovely. Mine play together while I make dinner. After dinner, it's homework and then we have family time after that. Sometimes they talk or play with me, sometimes they prefer each other.

vodkanchocolate · 19/05/2015 16:54

We dont tend to do much tbh, first thing I make my eldest do her home work and then she usually wants to play out she hates been stuck in house. She does go to a dancing club on a weds whilst shes there I usually take the younger ones to see family/goto park or something she is 9.

The younger ones unless have homework tend to just play in garden whilst I sort tea etc. We enjoy going to the park during summer months but have stopped last couple weeks as teenagers have been making a nuisance of themselves. Often go for a walk in woods with the dogs if weathers nice and husbands around.

ItsTricky · 19/05/2015 18:06

My 8 year old generally wants to watch tv and relax. After an hour or so she wanders off to play until dinner. Then it's homework and shower and then we normally watch a family programme together such as Blue Peter, Hetty Feather (fab!) then story and bed. On really nice summer evenings we go to the park straight after school, sometimes meet friends there.

BettyCatKitten · 19/05/2015 19:21

My DT's just get on with it and play together. Suits me as I work nights Grin

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 19/05/2015 19:33

Is it just me feeling frazzled, then? Your after school routines sounds much calmer and less rushed than mine Envy.

IPlayBass · 19/05/2015 19:41

I was wondering that too Arsenals. My three argue and make mess whilst I try to prepare dinner and shout at them. Dd1 is attached to her ipad. Dd3 loves to wind the other two up, grabbing things from their bedrooms or jumping on their beds. Dd2 wants to help me in the kitchen but hinders me instead, making mess on herself, the floor and all the work surfaces. Dd3 age 4 doesn't sleep very well and I have to sit on her doorway till she drops off then i try to sort the older two out with homework and baths etc. Don't sit down till 9.30 and by then I'm a frazzled exhausted mess.

How do you all keep everything calm and organised?

IPlayBass · 19/05/2015 19:43

And when I say i sit down at 9.30 I mean I sit down for 15 mins with a cuppa before I'm back up making their packed lunches, ironing uniform and cleaning their mess!

littlejohnnydory · 19/05/2015 19:54

Combination of 'doing stuff' with me and free play. I do think they need time that isn't structured for them by adults, especially after a day at school. Sometimes we play a board game, do a craft activity or bake something - or go for a walk or to the park.

littlejohnnydory · 19/05/2015 19:55

We're not calm or organised at all though, ever!

chickenfuckingpox · 19/05/2015 19:58

mine play nicely together till i go to sort tea then all hell breaks loose and they kick punch fight and bite each other

im separating them now its exasperating

BettyCatKitten · 19/05/2015 19:59

I'm massively unorganised Grin
Luckily the twins play really well together, thus leaving me in peaceSmile
It wasn't very calm here earlier when the cat bought a bird into the lounge and it flew upstairs Grin

SideOrderofChips · 19/05/2015 20:01

Generally i let them attempt to kill each other play nicely and threaten them with cages being separated if they dont play nicely

lavenderhoney · 19/05/2015 20:01

Mine are 8 and 5. They come home, have a snack and drink, then homework, then play outside or inside. Sometimes they go on tablets. They lay the table, help me cook, do jobs like check loo rolls are not run out etc, put toys away they've left out in the garden, all stuff like that.

If we have activities we do that, then home and as above. If it's nice and we aren't doing anything we go for a walk along the river with ice creams. Sometimes a friend comes over but then it's still as above, tbh. They play together a lot and make up songs, play the guitars (!) and generally chill.

Eva50 · 19/05/2015 20:17

Ds1 & 2 are older so see to themselves only appear for meals. Ds3 (8) gets in at 3:30 and plays on his iPad until 4:30 then has his snack and does his homework. He goes to choir, piano lessons and swimming three days and then we eat at 6:30 ish once everyone's home. After this he does his piano practice (20 mins AM & PM) and then his time is his own to do what he likes whilst I Mumsnet do the dishes and tidy up until 9:00 when he has a shower, teeth, story and bed about 9:30/9:45.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/05/2015 20:53

3 days a week we do activities - gymnastics/swimming/ballet - the other 2 they just play/fight together or have a play date . 2dds, 6&4.

Original poster
Joolsy · 20/05/2015 10:50

Thank you for all your replies. I feel guilty that I don't 'do' much stuff with then anymore and my only roles are chef, referee, homework tutor and taxi driver! I guess as they get older they need less adult interaction.

OP posts:
Allinson2014 · 20/05/2015 13:11

Mostly they play together by themselves for a while. They're only 7&5 though so they shoot each other or pretend they're ninja turtles. Occasionally I'm also a ninja turtle but mostly they don't want to play with me. We sometimes go to soft play but maybe only once or twice a month and I think they're growin out of it now.

dillite · 20/05/2015 13:20

I've got a 5- year old. When we get in grom school she can watch cbeebies till 4. At 4 she then has to read to me and do her handwriting exercises whilst I'm cooking. After dinner she can do what she likes until bedtime. Usually it involves begging me for more kids tv.

Groovee · 20/05/2015 13:22

My 2 are older now. Tend to come in and grab a drink and snack and will either do any homework or chat to me about their day before I make tea.

SocialMediaAddict · 20/05/2015 13:26

Monday - my 10 year old twins have homework club until 4.45. They then watch TV, screens and Lego mainly until bed.

Tuesday- go to my parents as I work then Cubs and bed

Weds - twin 1 has dyslexic tutor. Twin 2 has maths tutor. Trampoline or Tv etc until bed

Thursday - after school club until 6. Spellings then drawing etc. turn on screens as last resort.

Friday - play date or park. We stay up late watching a film.

SocksRock · 20/05/2015 13:28

Umm, mine are 7,5 and 2. In good weather we normally stay in the park next to the school until about 4.15-4.30. Then once we get home, big one does homework and the other two tend to play with the duplo or happyland stuff.

But often we have friends round as well. I look after my friends twins every monday as she finishes late that day, Wednesdays we have a regular play date (alternating houses), Thursday is swimming (hell on earth), and Fridays is beavers / dancing. So not much time really.

Tea is about 5ish depending, and they can watch tv when they are finished and helped me clear the table and load the dishwasher. Baby goes up for bath at 6, and then there is music practice for biggest - middle boy usually opts for lego batman on the wii at that point.

Writing all that down seems like loads!

budgiegirl · 20/05/2015 13:37

Not too much, to be honest, especially now they are a bit older (youngest is 10). Maybe help with homework if they need it. Very often they might have a friend round for tea.

Most nights its just a constant round of ferrying to and from clubs, at this time of year ,between the three DCs, there's athletics, hockey, three lots of football training, five lots of cricket training, cubs, tutor, two lots of karate, weekend cricket and football matches, weekday school cricket and football matches.

You sound like a lovely mum. Just be lead by what they want to do. Every child needs a bit of time to chill out by the tv or computer. If they are saying they are bored, then maybe help find something to do with them, they could maybe help make tea, lots of children really enjoy that.

howabout · 20/05/2015 13:48

Mine do homework and music practise when they come in. They are mostly old enough to organise themselves. I just wanted to say I keep a list of jobs to allocate as there is nothing more irritating than trying to make dinner etc while they mess around. They have been making their own packed lunch since age 8 and hoovering and laundry management are always available.

MrsNextDoor · 20/05/2015 13:52

Mine chill out! Mine are 7 and 10...so similar to yours OP. I don't let mine have any screen time during the week apart from one hour of tv. Mine seem to get very bad tempered if they use tablets etc...or play online games...if they didn't then I would let them.

They play with the neighbour's dd in the garden now the weather is nice but in the winter they craft/read/draw/eat/fight/moan Grin

IHeartKingThistle · 20/05/2015 13:55

I'm sorry, off topic but - did I miss the start of Hetty Feather???!!! How much have we missed? DD me really wanted to watch it!

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