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Original poster

it's normal to get upset about a fictional rape of a young woman right

58 replies

agentEgypt · 19/05/2015 13:58

Was watching a certain fantasy TV show last night where it is obviously fictitious but still I couldn't help but start crying when a young woman was raped in it.

DH couldn't understand it at all kept telling me its just make believe, that i obviously know. I've never been a victim of SA but still, I felt so upset even though I know its not real as I'm sure the same has happened in real life for many.

I'm totally normal right?

OP posts:
Icimoi · 19/05/2015 14:01

Good grief, I would hope that it is totally normal to cry at fiction. If my dh came out with "It's just make believe" in response to the bit at the end of the Railway Children, he's liable to get something thrown at him.

GiantGaspingSatanicCyst · 19/05/2015 14:02

Yes, empathy is totally normal.

I also find depictions of rape and sexual abuse extremely upsetting. It's always happening somewhere in the world for real :(

FujimotosElixir · 19/05/2015 14:04

it depends perhaps how much you were crying, a sly tear is normal but full.blubbering is wierd and maybe made dh uncomfortable, it depends person to person emotional displays.

OfaFrenchMind · 19/05/2015 14:06

It was horrible. Poor Sa* cannot get a break, can she? I cannot wait for her to rip his balls off! (NOT a spoiler, just wishful thinking!

AmyElliotDunne · 19/05/2015 14:08

Completely normal to be moved in any way by TV/film, that's what they're there for.

I had a very strong reaction to '50 shades of shite' which DP didn't quite understand. I had known I wouldn't like it, but thought I can't really slag it off without ever having seen it, so gave it the benefit of the doubt, but it brought out some horrible feelings. Having been in abusive relationships in the past I obviously connected with the feeling of someone you love hurting you.

I also remember a film that reduced me to a gibbering wreck where a young mum was in denial about her child having died, lots of scenes of them doing lovely things together and when it became clear that it was all in her head I absolutely howled.

DP just comforted me and didn't dismiss my feelings, but then he's a soppy sod too!

Theoretician · 19/05/2015 14:09

TBH it was nowhere near as bad as I expected from spoilers in the newspapers yesterday. And in fact I don't understand what the papers were getting wound up about (talk about "crossing a line" etc.)

As violence goes in GOT, I think she got off lightly. Ask yourself if you'd rather be Sansa or Freon. (Maybe re-watch the Freon torture scenes first, if you can bear to.)

Though I suppose it comes down to how much you identify with the characters. I've never been able to take GOT very seriously.

Theoretician · 19/05/2015 14:11

I suppose the difference is Freon was never likeable.

popalot · 19/05/2015 14:16

I can't stand it and I don't see why it's necessary (but must admit don't watch GOT). It makes me quite cross. Why, for example, do we not see male rape on telly? Why is it acceptable to show this violence towards women? And what about the actors involved? It must be really upsetting. I just hate it all round and get quite ranty about it.

CheesyDibbles · 19/05/2015 14:16

My DH was visibly upset watching it. I found it very disturbing.

I remember giving up on Ripper Street because I was so disgusted by the sadistic violence against women that it portrayed. I suppose in this particular fantasy series, it is both men and women that are meeting sticky ends! But I'm not sure I am going to bother with it anymore.

tumbletumble · 19/05/2015 14:18

There's a rape scene in the (fiction) book Apple Tree Yard that I found very upsetting. I didn't cry, but I couldn't stop thinking about it for ages afterwards.

WorraLiberty · 19/05/2015 14:18

I agree with FujimotosElixir, as in it depends on the level of crying really.

Theoretician · 19/05/2015 14:18

Freon = Theon

And I've just realised that maybe this thread started with an attempt to avoid explicit spoilers. Sorry I didn't realise that.

Smellyoulateralligator · 19/05/2015 14:19

Watching the episode now but I've walked out before that scene. I find depictions of sexual violence really unnecessary and gratuitous.

InfiniteJest · 19/05/2015 14:21

I was disturbed by that scene too. Yes, it's fiction, but rape does happen in real life. And even though the character isn't real, through watching the show you grow to know them as a real person. So yes, totally normal reaction!

TeWiSavesTheDay · 19/05/2015 14:22

I hate rape on tv, it always upsets me, I'm glad I never got into GoT and didn't see it! He's being an arse if your emotions make him uncomfortable.

themarysue take on why they won't be covering game of thrones anymore: www.themarysue.com/we-will-no-longer-be-promoting-hbos-game-of-thrones/

I think it's a fair point, when hbo made true blood they skipped out a rape between two major characters because they could show the same character/plot development without it.

ItsTricky · 19/05/2015 14:23

Absolutely normal Flowers

I've given up on TV programmes because the content has upset me. GOT is one of those.

With books I don't find it so upsetting, maybe as it's easier to skim past upsetting bits. I skipped a lot of The Kite Runner for example.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 19/05/2015 14:25

Between is the wrong word there, sorry.

manicinsomniac · 19/05/2015 14:31

Of course it's normal. It probably wouldn't be normal if it was only rape and nothing else that made you cry but it's normal to cry at sad or shocking things in books and on tv.

Some people can distinguish between fact and fiction very well, including their emotional reactions. I can't at all. If I'm watching or reading something then it's real.

Original poster
agentEgypt · 19/05/2015 14:34

Well i was trying to keep the title spoiler free and not just about that one scene. But never mind its been all over the place,so eveyone should of seen it by now or be avoiding the internet!

Not sure why but the Theon stuff didn't affect me as much, I mean it was horrible nasty and gruesome but it didn't bring me to tears. Same with the rape next to Joffys body.

I guess the certain Ramsey scene isn't over, but can't see Reek sticking a knife in. What is taking breeion so long?

OP posts:
gooeycookie · 19/05/2015 14:35

I was watching it with my DP, we were both horrified.

There's a lot in the series that's horrifying THAT skull crush but last night's scene was awful and upset me too.

FujimotosElixir · 19/05/2015 17:19

Ooh worraliberty agrees with me! feel privileged Grin

CheesyDibbles · 19/05/2015 17:25

Fuji and worraliberty, I have been reduced to a total blubbering wreck by a few things. I think sometimes you watch things in the wrong frame of mind, and it all comes out. Top of the Lake absolutely destroyed me.

FreeSpirit89 · 19/05/2015 17:25

It's a reaction that's normal for you. Others maybe not.

I knew a girl who is into the BDSM/kink world and sought out these types of scenes. She was abused as a child, it's her way of controlling what happened to her. They call it consensual non consent.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 19/05/2015 17:32

It's totally normal to cry at tv programmes. I rewatched The Royle Family, Queen of Sheba episode yesterday and had a good cry (emotional anyway).

Also watched the GoT episode, it was hard viewing. However, I thought it would be worse - was expecting it, due to reading the books. It was worse in print than in the tv, as is most of GoT. I'm angry with the series at the moment, so many changes, but like I said, assumed this would have been worse than it transpired to be.

Weathergames · 19/05/2015 17:34

Is normal, that scene in "The Accused" really really upsets me.

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