How can I tell my colleague I am not interested in what is going on in the lives of people I've never met.

[angelos02]

Without upsetting her?

For example, 'my friend x's daughter is starting her new course today'.

I am really busy so if something isn't funny or interesting, shut up.

I once had a few dates with a very beautiful, but very dull, man.

On the first date I mentioned that I occasionally watched Hollyoaks (this was a looong time ago). This prompted him, not only to mention Hollyoaks on every single date thereafter, but also to EMAIL me updates on what was happening and asking for my thoughts on the storyline.

It didn't last.

My colleague told me a very detailed story about how she, her mum and her dad had to change a lightbulb in the bathroom and how it was dust on top which fell down and bla bla bla bla bla. She is 35 and lives at home....

confession time

I am one of these people. As a teenager my parents told me I was boring. I had no awareness that I was dull but apparently I am and I look for the signs now that I am boring people, I also tend to overshare when nervous. I plug myself into ipad at work to keep myself amused so I don't bore people around me as I'm not great with silence. Anyone know how to help people like me be less boring because I promise I'm not doing it on purpose.

'if something isn't funny or interesting, shut up'

Couldn't agree more with this

Can't abide people who assume you'll be enthralled by their inane whitterings when you're trying to work.

I still have an ex-colleague (retired) who rolls up once a quarter and proceeds to sit at my desk and spend hours telling me about his wife (who I've never met) his daughter in law (who I've never met), his sons (who I've never met) and his grandchildren (who I've never met) and his friends (who I've never met). It's SO boring and a complete waste of a day. I wouldn't mind but I never worked with him directly - he was part of a different team. He just likes talking 'at' me I think and loves the sound of his own voice, talking about his wonderful world.

I am obviously a grumpy old cow but I can't help it.

If anyone mentions Soaps in my vicinity I just ignore them completely and pretend I haven't heard. Same thing goes for football.

With chatty colleagues, I take the first opportunity to let them know that I'm very unsociable at work. All said in a self-deprecating fashion, 'it's not you, it's me' (lie) and 'I can't focus on more than one thing at a time' (lie).

So far, I get chat-free mornings (I'm not very good until I've had three cups of coffee - lie), chat-free lunchtime (I prefer to unwind quietly while eating lunch - lie) and chat-free afternoons (Psychological profiling has shown I'm most productive in the afternoons so I need to crack on - this is actually true).

I don't mind chatty at all. Just not...irrelevant...iyswim?

mindexplode - if you could work on being happy to sit in silence for a while, then that would be a good start.

mintyy - wish I could, I can't even get to sleep without the radio or tv on, luckily I have an understanding DH. I put it down to having a busy noisy house growing up, I hate silence. As I sit here at home working with the radio on for company.

Mindexplode, I'm sure that you're not!
Just listen to colleagues/friends and ask questions about them or something that's happened to them before that your remember. IMO boring people only ever talk about themselves and have no interest in the other person.

Mindexplode, I think there is a big difference between someone who is chatty and someone who just drones on and on regardless.

Chatty is nice if it is fun and a two way street. As previous posters said, the boring ones only talk about themselves and their lives. My boss will just grunt or go 'mm' and carry on talking about herself whenever anyone tries to change the subject, so I don't feel rude ignoring her now. You sound like you have self-awareness, which the bores lack. Giving less chatty people some quiet time (like you are doing) is a great way to compromise.