How can I tell my colleague I am not interested in what is going on in the lives of people I've never met.

[angelos02]

Without upsetting her?

For example, 'my friend x's daughter is starting her new course today'.

I am really busy so if something isn't funny or interesting, shut up.

Well you sound like a proper nightmare.

Yanbu.
If I'm talking to someone, it's so easy to see when their eyes glaze over, and they're completely uninterested. So I stop.
There are so many people who just carrying on talking completely oblivious.

angels02 I have nothing useful to add to this but am watching for suggestions on the same issue with my mum. So far this morning, I've heard all about Karen's daughter's pregnancy, Sally's holiday to Turkey next week and Debbie's row with the line manager. I don't know these people, I have never met these people and I just do't care.

I just try and tune out if that ever happens. It's better than being rude and saying I'm not in the least bit fucking interested even if that's what you are thinking.

It works for me anyway along with an 'orr right' they either waffle on or shut up and 5 minutes later I have totally forgotten about it as it's irrelevant to me.

You can't but if you do, tell me how so I can tell my MIL

'if something isn't funny or interesting, shut up'

Mm should use that as banner on talk pages

I used to have a colleague who would stop by my desk every Monday morning, and spend at least twenty minutes talking at me about his weekend. Every Monday, I would carry on typing and saying only 'mmm'. This went on for fifteen years.

At least she's not telling you plot of Eastenders, I spose

Is there any aspect of your work that could plausibly require the use of headphones? I had a nice big pair that were sometimes the only defence against the office witterer.

Can you confuse her by being overly interested? Or (as I presume you're busy) take the more result driven path and say "can you tell me later when I've finished x, y and z I am finding it hard to concentrate"

Well, you can't really, can you? There's no way to say I don't care that isn't going to upset someone.

I don't imagine she thinks you do care, she's probably just making small talk. Maybe she likes to be a bit sociable and imagines you do too. I don't care (as in not personally invested in, not following, not a passion of mine, whatever etc) about lots of stuff people tell me, I still remain politely interested because it's the nice thing to do. She probably doesn't give a shit about the things you say, but she plays the game because that's the social thing to do.

If you are actually busy then there's nothing wrong with saying so.

I'm swamped at the moment, can we catch up on our coffee break / later / over lunch, I really need to concentrate on this, sorry.

It sounds like the problem is more that your co-workers are boring. One of my co-workers tells such good stories about his mother that I ask him for updates.

I am always polite and smile and nod in the right places. I never really talk about my private life - as it isn't especially interesting so she must either think I've got no friends. Hey ho.

YANBU. I had a couple of friends over for dinner recently and one of them kept interrupting interesting flows of conversation to start telling us about her son's friend who had done this, and her cousin's daughter who had done that... We had never met any of these people and we really weren't interested.

My dh would like to know the answer to this, whenever I read something from MN out loud.

('Why would I want to know what people who I don't know and will never know, have eaten today')

I'd say it's a very strong reaction to something very minor. What exactly bothers you so much about it?

Mudda My mum does this! I used to watch Emmerdale about 5 years ago but she still insists on telling me everything that's happening. I have told her I don't watch, I don't know these characters, I'm not interested but it goes in one ear and out the other.

It isn't minor as I have to work with this person. Any other circumstance I could obviously just cut contact.

I agree with Goodbye I used to love hearing about the antics of my ex colleague's crazy girlfriend and vice versa he loved hearing about my crazy mother. To this day he always asks what she's been up to in the occasional emails we exchange, we haven't worked together for over ten years. She obviously made a real impact

I have a friend that does this, we may have 2 hours to catch up every few months and we both have a lot of personal stuff to get through but she will spend an hour and a half on the life history of a man she got talking to at football that I will never know and she will probably never see again. It's painful. She never used to be that boring.

I would just pretend you're so engrossed in your work that you can't hear her. Sounds tedious.

Nicki, sadly good storytellers are few and far between.

I used to get this from my DMil. She would go on and on about people and Christ she could talk. She was loud and determined and you simply couldn't get a word in once she was in full flow. I just got used to it.

I realise that's no help but I sympathise.

Oh god, I HATE the soap opera thing. What is it about them? [boggle]
ohh did you hear what mabel did in crossroads?
I don't watch it
oh she had lunch with barry and his wife hit the roof
I don't watch it, I don't know who they are
well, that night, henry burned down the garage, you know, because of bill's daughter
I have no clue, I don't watch it

and on and on and on and on and on

Like you have only forgotten that you watch it and if they tell you enough bits you'll go AHH! crossroads! of course, yes I watch it every night. Wasn't it great when ethel stuck her knitting needles up barney's arse...

Because it can be incredibly intrusive where - I have a colleague like this, she just never, ever stops talking complete and utter drivel. And it does stop me from getting on with my work because however hard you try to concentrate on what you are doing it is sometimes hard to 'switch off'. We work in the voluntary sector so it is very hard to tell her to 'shut up'. . I have to be in the same room as her 90% of the time so I can't avoid her.

I try really hard to be kind as she is clearly lonely and actually does do a good job most of the time but the days I work with her I have to come home and lie down . Every one else in the team changes their rota to avoid her but I can't do that !!