How can I tell my colleague I am not interested in what is going on in the lives of people I've never met.

[angelos02]

Without upsetting her?

For example, 'my friend x's daughter is starting her new course today'.

I am really busy so if something isn't funny or interesting, shut up.

DP does this. But usually about houses which are for sale, in places we don't want to live and how much they are selling for. We're not buying a house

'I'm sorry, I just need to concentrate on this thing to get it done. Can I come back to you in a bit?'

Then that 'bit' is in your control.

Chances are, she just needs to talk, and if you stop nodding and smiling, she'll find someone else who will.

Obviously that doesn't work with mothers and mothers-in-law.

It's just part of working in an office, if nothing else it will help you develop good interpersonal skills. We all have to work with and hopefully get on with colleagues.Just carry on nodding and smiling, it would be counter productive to case any upset and there is really no way of saying you don't care/are not interested that won't case upset.

'Oh goodness is that the time? I'm late for a meeting!' Rush off and shut yourself in a meeting room for a few hours.

I just can't get my head around why she doesn't seem to wonder why I don't tell her the far end of a fart about my friends/life. She probably couldn't name a single friend of mine as I have never mentioned them. Just vague 'I'm going out with some friends this weekend'.

Yanbu - I have a colleague like this who also sits next to me! I do what you do and nod now and again, if she were to ask me a question about what she just said I wouldn't be able to answer as I actually have switched off!

If I am really busy and in the middle of something, I have actually said, I am really sorry if I don't appear to listen but I really need to get this done so have to really concentrate, that will quiet her a bit for a while, until she starts on her personal phone calls....she really is hard work

Fenella, I would totally watch a soap that had the plots and characters that one does.

It drives me insane when people do this.

People I have never met or heard of

Soaps I don't watch

Daily Mail stories

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The thing is it's your colleague who is rude there because she should have realised a long time ago that you aren't interested (or you are faking your interest too well!).

I don't really know what to advise apart from been careful not too look too keen! Maybe reduce the nods and hmm hmm so that she takes the hint wo you looking rude?

Fwiw, I would love DH to talk to me about the people in his office etc... But he has decided that, because I don't know them, then he shouldn't be talking to me about them as clearly I won't be interested. Well yes but then it means i have no idea of what happens to him during the day and it reduces what you can talk about quite a bit too!
So it's all an art of balance between telling everyone about everything incl what is just dead boring to that person (then you are rude and really should stop) and not saying anything at all which can be just as annoying and boring.

I sympathise by the way. I've worked with some crashing bores. I'd rather have silence than someone filling it with drivel I am not remotely interested in.

Maybe I'll get writing, Only

I'll look out for Barney's Arse, coming soon to ITV.

I think you just need a notice for your desk:

I am really busy so if something isn't funny or interesting, shut up.

Add emoticons or not

Also you could consider other side of notice reading

I am really bored please distract me for 5 minutes to increase my future productivity

You don't think I'll make the beeb then?

My Mum also goes on about people I don't know. Sometimes (often?) it turns out to be the plotline of Eastenders :(
Once I had genuine concern over someone only to find out it was fiction.
My mum has lots of friends and a busy social life, so I don't know why she feels the need for this.

OP - I have no idea what the solution is, but I would be happy to find it too.

Urgh - I have something similar. Not at work. But for 45 mins every week I have to sit with someone who just drones on and on about drivel. There is no point in me being impolite, it would hurt her unnecessarily and apart from boring me to tears there's no harm done to me.

I feel your pain though. At work, can you wear headphones?

If you are going to bore people at least do it with a subject there is a chance the other will have interest in.

Seriously, gossip is bad enough. Why not talk about nature, animals, history, literature, holiday destinations? No people fill their mind and time gossiping.

We talk about utilitarianism or activist ideas and boring things like that in my house. We try to find a subject of mutual interest with others. You have to be pretty despite if all you get to talk about, is gossip about people the person you talk at doesn't even know.

Well, at least at work you have a legitimate reason to say to your colleague that you're up to your eyeballs and haven't got time to chat.

I've got a friend who bores me rigid about her job, colleagues I will never meet, various reports and whatnot which are all utterly meaningless to me. She does a lot of business travel, so I always politely ask her how her most recent business trip went ........ even knowing what I'm going to be in for

No people fill their mind and time gossiping - sadly a lot of people do - you must be very fortunate if you have had to spend time with people who bore you rigid. I have a job which I love and find very interesting but the vast majority of the team I work with are ............ rather dull and boring (to be polite) - perhaps they think the same about me. .

Pu her in a room with my mother and leave them to it. They'd both be so busy boring for England on the subject of not only people that we don't know, but people that they barely even know, that they'd each be too busy talking to listen to one another and days and days could go by before one of them pauses for breath.

My Mum has done this for years and years, it irritates the fuck out of me plus she can be on the phone for ages talking about someone I dont know then for the last 30 seconds will say "oh how is DS" and before I can reply will have to go

I now say "do I know these people ?"

or "who is Jack ?"...oh he lives downstairs..."so someone I dont know?"

My tolerance level with m Mum has peaked...and we dont see or talk to each other often, you probably couldn't be so blunt with someone you work with

I have very few friends and barley see family. I can't be doing with gossip nonsense, most of which is probably not true just fantasies and projections.

I am happy just doing my own thing with a few like minded people and my dc.

She even looks a bit annoyed if I lose track of the million people she yings on about. Eg. I'll say 'is x your neighbour?'. She'll look quite put out that I hadn't remembered!

I have this every time I see my MIL. She's absolutely lovely and we get on really well, but there is nothing I don't know about her friends from work/choir/art club and their extended families, none of whom I am ever likely to meet.