just confronted school over money and favouring children

[vodkanchocolate]

Not quite sure what response im after by posting this guess just a rant really. Before I start I just want to point out im not bashing anyone or trying to think I know everything regarding circumstances because I fully admit I dont.

My main annoyance tbh is that school have been running an holiday club for key stage 2 children, before Easter my daughter had asked if she could attend this wasnt something I could financially allow her to do the price was something like 45 for a full week or something like that it did sound really good but as I explained I do have 4 other children to fund over the holidays, she kind of understood and left it at that obviously upset her friends were going, when she went back one of her best friends had told her school had paid for her to go, as I explained to dd at time there must be serioous issues why they would do that, and tbh its only the word of a 9 year old. So couple weeks ago they sent home slips to the next holiday club again dd asked to attend she got the same answer, but her father this time offered to pay we took slip to school today to be told its already booked up for year4 children, come out of school and said its not fair because all the same kids are going as last time including this particular girl who apparently bragged she doesnt have to pay for anything to dd (again word of a 9 year old)... This is the 3rd time dd has missed out on extra activities due to me not been able to have money on time this is despite me talking to the school which im fully aware is my own fault (some might say bad parenting) but I know for a fact if on certain benefits school are taking contributions at parents own discretion for things such as trips and even milk and snacks - I just find it really unfare to working low income families who are struggling. Was not long ago I got into debt with school dinner money and the way school made me feel and forced me to put my eldest on packed lunches

I know im probilly been totally ott and coming across as been a total cow, but on way out of school I had a word with the parent worker didnt mention about the holiday club as that tbh is just hear say, but Ive got to pay out for 3 childrens trips to ywp in 3 weeks 15 per child which I know is the going rate so no issue until my neighbourt told me shes only paying 8.00 per child (shes a carer for husband) I have also almost finished paying for my daughters residential we were given a payment plan or 5 per week to pay for it and she seems to think a few of the kids are only paying 2.00 a week. So I just asked her if there is anyway I can spread mt cost of trips as I was struggling to pay it by the deadline and she said only at the heads discretion and wanted to know what i heard about other parents. She seemed pretty understanding and did stress that school have to take a responsibility for vulnerable children, and said if I was honestly struggling I have to arrange to speak to the head, which wont be happening way he made me feel over the school dinner debt, it was like oh you dont qualify for them free see you later sort of attitude!!

I feel a bit silly for saying out but I felt it had to be adressed, we have spoke before about money issues and she offered to go through things with us but if not entitled to anything more than what get not alot they can do tbh but I think it be nice to know if ever we were really stuck the children wouldnt be made to suffer....considering putting my feelings in writing but would it get me anywhere?

Surely im not the oly person who is annoyed by this sort of thing? Its the school im annoyed with not the families in question

Any children being "paid for" for things like this will be pupil premium children I expect which the school gets given money for to help with things like this. I do think it's shitty though but it's no worse than at some schools where some children have been given an iPad to help them at home with this money.

Yes which i totally understand and respect but do think It be nice if there was something in place for other children in emergencys. Eg at the time I was in debt with school dinners my daughters father had missed 6 weeks of maintenance and on top of that missing money coming in my husband had hours cut at work school didnt want to know, they tried seeing if could claim them free but when it came back no they didnt want to know

YABU.

People are getting subsidised for genuine reasons, like being carers.

I've recently exceeded earnings limits for help with certain things. It's how things should be, why should i be subsidised if i can afford it?

I don't think yabu tbh, we were financially better off on benefits than what we are now with a very low wage coming in.

School should consider all circumstances, often the working poor are the worst off. A llarge proportion of the people using foodbanks In my town are in fact working.

Did you ask if your child could have a free place? It isn't automatically offered as some parents can be really funny about it.

The school aren't 'favouring' children, they are using money given to them for these specific children. I'm sure they would like to do more to help struggling families but where would the money come from?

Sorry this does sound really stressful and a bit rubbish on the school's part. Make sure you dd's name is on the waiting list for the club at least.

In the long run, are you sure that you are getting all the help you're entitled to? Have you checked with your local council about free school meals? It might be worth taking a trip to the citizens advice bureau with details of your finances (ie all income from job, child support and any benefits plus details out outgoings like rent and bills) and they might be able to see if you're eligible for anything else.

I also think that it might be worth writing to the head and governors outlining your situation and explaining that you're wondering if you're eligible for anything more. Be polite not cross. I remember the thread about the lunch debt, but I'd just draw a line under that - the head sounds like an arse but is probably not going anywhere sadly and you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

I agree it isn't fair. I feel for you and your DD - hard for both of you. I do the think that the system could be better though. (An example of the low paid working being much worse off than those on benefits)

Maybe get your thoughts on paper in bullet point form and speak to the head - ask if there is some way they have a discretionary grants which could be used just once for your DD. Try to forget how he made you feel over the lunch debt and focus on the future.

If it is "no" then you have at least tried. There is nothing else you can do at this stage.

School budgets simply don't have the means to pay for lunches for children or extra clubs. That has to be down to the parents who get CB for the children.

Putting in writing your wishes to have things paid for you whilst choosing to have four children won't come across very well. Lots won't get extra clubs or school lunches.

Those on FSM attract pupil premium. In larger schools it may be used towards trips or clubs that will benefit the child. In smaller schools it's usually swallowed up by TA costs or resources as they have to show what impact the funding has. Due to this, many don't use towards trips unless they can show it raised grades.

School budgets are really really tight though - there simply isn't the money to pay for school dinners for someone who isn't entitled to them and free holiday clubs for all, there just isn't.

Yes - good advice re CAB from PP

That isn't true schools often have discretionary funds.

Sounds like school are using pupil premium money to help the student who it is allocated for.

With regards asking for free school meals the school has nothing to do with who is entitled to them.

My daughter was given loads of free trips and clubs because we had to claim free school meals for a very short amount of time as the way it works is the children receive the pupil
Premium for five years after claiming free school meals. We were both working after only needing benefits six months when DH was unwell but every trip and club I paid for I had the money returned back to me. Even the pgl trip.
I felt embarrassed tbh and knew I would have been judged just like you are doing now but it's a problem with the system if anything not individual parents or children.
Trust me we paid as much as we could into the school to try to make up for it in charity events sponsorship etc

Zanussi we weren't dirt poor I can assure you. For the short time we were on benefits we did very well indeed.

This sounds a bit crap on the school's part tbh. I am a lone parent and over the past three years have been on and off benefits as DS is autistic and has gone through some very difficult experiences.

Even when on full benefits the residential trip and other big stuff wasn't subsidised for him. Nor was anything else although I am sure if I had told the school I was struggling they might have found a way to help. Tbh though the only time I saw a family subsidised for big stuff was when the children attending were twins, the school then generally funded one place with the family funding the other one. That was something we agreed and a Governors meeting.

Have you tried speaking to the school about the financial difficulties? I can sympathise as it IS hard on a low wage as you generally lose things like FSM etc.

As Sirzy says, it sounds like pupil premium money is being used to fund these activities. It's a not a perfect system but I'm all for it if disadvantaged children get to have experiences they otherwise wouldn't have.

YANBU

Working poor is getting to be a big issue.

I too think that the school is using pupil premium money in ways to support those children who are entitled to it. But of course, you can not be told this.

Are your dc in receipt of pupil premium?

I do totally understand I really do and think I am been a little bit unreasonable. We are on a very tight budget and just seems sometimes like the little money we do have spare is going on school things.

I think I am going to have a word with school about my daughter doing some after school clubs I have to budget 2 weeks in advance and when they give letters out they want money there and then on first come first serve basis hence why she keeps missing out. I have an emergency fund but everytime I dip into it end up needing something

You won't win any popularity votes but school trips are voluntary contributions so they can't stop your child from going if you don't pay. Residential trips are different. I would prioritise the residential and then pay the other trips. Holiday clubs are a bit of a luxury though.

Isn't that sort of club for children who have parents who have to work in the holidays?

Some, like sharon receive Pupil Premium long after the "need" is there iyswim. A temporary period of hardship has past. Finances are manageable, or even better than that.

Others who receive PP because their home life is utterly shit. Poverty, deprivation, the child may have been/is looked after.

You situation sounds tough. You maybe need to revisit to see if you are eligible for FSM/PP.

In the meantime you do not know the ins and outs of the "favoured" children's circumstances.

Our head uses some of the PP to fund holiday clubs for some PP children. Because, as he says, with the best will in the world, their home life is awful and they are far better out of the house and away from home during the holidays.

YABU. Schools do not have money to chuck around "favouring" children. Get a grip and some empathy.