just confronted school over money and favouring children

[vodkanchocolate]

Not quite sure what response im after by posting this guess just a rant really. Before I start I just want to point out im not bashing anyone or trying to think I know everything regarding circumstances because I fully admit I dont.

My main annoyance tbh is that school have been running an holiday club for key stage 2 children, before Easter my daughter had asked if she could attend this wasnt something I could financially allow her to do the price was something like 45 for a full week or something like that it did sound really good but as I explained I do have 4 other children to fund over the holidays, she kind of understood and left it at that obviously upset her friends were going, when she went back one of her best friends had told her school had paid for her to go, as I explained to dd at time there must be serioous issues why they would do that, and tbh its only the word of a 9 year old. So couple weeks ago they sent home slips to the next holiday club again dd asked to attend she got the same answer, but her father this time offered to pay we took slip to school today to be told its already booked up for year4 children, come out of school and said its not fair because all the same kids are going as last time including this particular girl who apparently bragged she doesnt have to pay for anything to dd (again word of a 9 year old)... This is the 3rd time dd has missed out on extra activities due to me not been able to have money on time this is despite me talking to the school which im fully aware is my own fault (some might say bad parenting) but I know for a fact if on certain benefits school are taking contributions at parents own discretion for things such as trips and even milk and snacks - I just find it really unfare to working low income families who are struggling. Was not long ago I got into debt with school dinner money and the way school made me feel and forced me to put my eldest on packed lunches

I know im probilly been totally ott and coming across as been a total cow, but on way out of school I had a word with the parent worker didnt mention about the holiday club as that tbh is just hear say, but Ive got to pay out for 3 childrens trips to ywp in 3 weeks 15 per child which I know is the going rate so no issue until my neighbourt told me shes only paying 8.00 per child (shes a carer for husband) I have also almost finished paying for my daughters residential we were given a payment plan or 5 per week to pay for it and she seems to think a few of the kids are only paying 2.00 a week. So I just asked her if there is anyway I can spread mt cost of trips as I was struggling to pay it by the deadline and she said only at the heads discretion and wanted to know what i heard about other parents. She seemed pretty understanding and did stress that school have to take a responsibility for vulnerable children, and said if I was honestly struggling I have to arrange to speak to the head, which wont be happening way he made me feel over the school dinner debt, it was like oh you dont qualify for them free see you later sort of attitude!!

I feel a bit silly for saying out but I felt it had to be adressed, we have spoke before about money issues and she offered to go through things with us but if not entitled to anything more than what get not alot they can do tbh but I think it be nice to know if ever we were really stuck the children wouldnt be made to suffer....considering putting my feelings in writing but would it get me anywhere?

Surely im not the oly person who is annoyed by this sort of thing? Its the school im annoyed with not the families in question

i think the school should have more spaces for the holiday club or rotate the students run a list something to make it more fair

I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if I'm repeating somethings which have already been said.
I work in a small primary school. The head does have some discretion about helping to subsidise trips etc, although funds are tight. If I were you, I would go to see him and explain - in a non-accusatory way - how you feel about the clubs/trips and how your finances are. I have - on many occasions - known parents refuse to pay for trips, swimming lessons etc because they are not keen on them or because money is tight, and it does sometimes seem unfair that many people are paying up time after time without realising that they are subsidising people who refuse to pay.
(I am not talking about people who receive PP money and who are genuinely in need of help).
Lunch payments are slightly different; as they are paid online at my school there is concern that if the non-payments are allowed to build up they school can be left seriously out of pocket. (Pupils - and staff - have left the school owing lunch money which has resulted in losses totalling hundreds of pounds).
I do sympathise with you, but I think that yabu in not talking to the head about it - he is there to deal with situations like this.

I think it would be worth you writing to the headteacher to explain that finding £45 for school trips with little notice is a struggle for the family and asking to spread payments over X weeks. If it's a curriculum trip in school time, your children shouldn't be excluded if you don't pay but I would have thought the school would prefer to know that you will pay, albeit over a longer period of time. In the same letter you could suggest that parents are given at least 1 month's notice of trips that require a parental contribution so families are better able to budget.

The holiday club issue is a different one. This time your daughter has missed out because the places had gone by the time her Dad had provided the money to pay for it. In a letter, ask the headteacher to consider introducing a fairer process for allocating places to holiday clubs e.g. deadline for forms and money is X, if there are more forms than available places, names will be pulled out of a hat/priority will be given to children for whom the school receives pupil premium and other places will be offered to children who haven't attended a holiday club this school year. By offering sensible, fair solutions you may find that the headteacher is more likely to change systems to benefit families in your situation.

That's such a sad story, chicken. Your friend over-reacted, pulled her child out of the school where he was probably happy and settled and then he had to start somewhere new with none of his friends, all because his mum didn't have the balls to back down and deal with the problem in an adult way.

As others have said, all children who have been in care are entitled to Pupil Premium Plus, which is claimed by the school. They don't have to be in financial need (my child gets it and I am not low paid). It's not supposed to be used as a general subsidy, though; it's to support learning potential and it is in recognition of the fact that children who have been in care have been disadvantaged and often fail to fulfil their potential at school. Many of the adopted children I know have it used to pay for extra teaching support, extra-curricular classes or therapeutic interventions (which can be very hard to access otherwise). I tend to avoid talking about it with other parents because I'm fairly certain some of them will resent it.

YABU. You have five kids. I think it goes without saying that unless you are mega rich if you have a family that large you're just going to have to accept that things like this aren't an option because you can't shell out that sort of money for each kid.

I do think the working poor are an issue, but I'm not sure that's what's really relevant here. If you look through some of the benefits threads there are lots of people criticising people on benefits who have families they can't afford. I'm not sure why the same principle doesn't apply to working families too, I think it should.

If you have five kids and not much money you must be already getting a fairly decent whack via tax credits and child benefit already. I'm really not sure why you think your decision to have a large family means you should be entitled to tax payer funded freebies.

I doubt your neighbour had much choice about becoming a carer, you took the decisions that created this situation when you had a large family so it's your responsibility. YABU.

When my dd went through primary school I was v involved... on PTA, a gvnr, etc. We had ideas and theories about the school on the playground.

Since then, I now work in the school, and at others.

Was HORRIFIED to learn about how some children have an unbelievably shit time. Like Victorian era shit. Low - medium level abuse. They're young carers with massive responsibilities on their shoulders. They're neglected. They're not fed regularly. They're hit. I know 2 children who school are CONVINCED are being sexually abused (in an ongoing way) and school can't do a thing about it. And those are the serious ones. That's nothing about the ones we're glad are on FSMs, because it's the only hot meal they get in a day, or who go to homework club because parents can't help with homework.

You're NBU, OP, and I feel your pain (I really do), but schools do what they can for the ones who have the worst of it. And they KNOW that there are parents who play the system/chance it. And sometimes they have to help those ones above others they know deserve it more, and that chokes them, but they have to do it.

And, Chicken, it does tend to irk schools when parents plead poverty, but somehow manage to afford whatever it costs to smoke these days. There is a choice about what you spend your money on.

My schools go to unbelievable efforts to try and enhance the childhood experience for children whose childhood experience is generally rotten. And they make their PP money STRETCH all they can to benefit the PP children and others.

And if anyone has posted on here with horror and voted anything other than Labour, then I'd just remind you that you reap what you sow!

Can I ask a question about the "ever 6"? We were on FSm for a while in the first term of YrR but came off when my husband got work. We told school and didnt have any more but in spring had a letter from the local authority saying "we dont think you're entitled to FSM". I assume a census? I replied with when we had been and that we'd come off.

IS the school still able to access PP for us or did it have to be on PP at that certain date?

If we claimed it (I think theres a free jumper..) would thtat mean others miss out?

I'd like to know as I think music lessons are subsidised later. WE've always paid for trips etc but at infant school its not been expensive.

Also, her Dad could afford it. And he was willing to pay for it. So there is no need for a freebie. She had a parent who could afford it.

So it was more a case of bad organisation than anything else. If you wanted a place but it would take a while to get the money you could have negotiated with the school to reserve a place and pay at a later date as soon as you heard about it. Not saying anything to them then complaining it got fully booked when they didn't know you wanted a place is silly. Next time talk to them up front. What do you expect them to do? Kick another child off it to make space for your daughter?

OP, if you want your children to have these nice extras you could look for work. It's unreasonable to expect the school to pay because you chose not to work and have lots of children. They are all choices you made.

Lots have a second earner to fund the fun stuff in life.

It sounds as if this club is childcare, and as you say it's £45 for a who,e week, it's being heavily subsidised somewhere along the line.

The booking is bound to be first-come first served because working parents need to the security of a firm booking (so won't want to wait for a lottery for places, thus reducing ability to book elsewhere).

I hope the posts from others about money have helped. And as you know roughly when they open for booking ahead of the next school holiday, you can be ready to make a booking early enough to secure a place next time.

Her husband needs a carer. I think it's quite poor to moan about school favouring her children tbh.

Yanbu.

You don't claim pp. You claim for FSM, and if you have been in receipt of them in the last 6 years, the school receives pp. The school decides how it is spent. It is to be spent on narrowing the achievement gap.

oooh another benefits bashing thread. lovely.

A bit at the posters who are judging chickens friend. I can't imagine I was an easy decision to make and aa a TA I would be pretty unimpressed at that kind of attitude towards parents. It does sod all to help the children and engage hard to reach families.

Thank you for replies. Never supposed to be a benefit bashing thread. And for those of you questioning my work status I have worked on and off but currently not as was too difficult to arrange childcare around my husbands shifts. But he does have a 40-50 hour job per week and not entitled to any wtc due to the amounts. Yes we recieve child tax and cb so we are not totally hard done by and I never said we were I just have to budget fortnightly, and perhaps I need to start been a bit more frugal so that these trips etc arent taking up such a big chunk. We have various debts paying off which are also a big strain.

I feel like I have totally over reacted after the responces and accept that, I have just been into school and spoke to the head of ks1 about paying the 45 in 3 installments she has said it should be fine and will make sure admin are aware.

Thing is there is always going to be folk better off than we are. For one reason or another. We are pretty damned broke and on tax credits , we aren't however entitled to free school meals etc. We are always getting the dinner money phone call.

I am no more envious of those who qualify for extra help than i am with loads of cash and can afford these sort of things for their children and more.

I have learnt to stop comparing myself to others. That way madness lies