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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have called this lad "black"...

163 replies

ExitStageLeft · 17/05/2015 20:18

Genuinely unsure about this and need the bluntness of AIBU.

I work at a college, was working with a group of young men and one wandered off. I poked my head back into the office and asked if anyone had seen the missing student. My colleague asked what he looked like and I said:

"He's wearing a denim jacket, got dark rimmed glasses on â?? black lad."

My colleague was shocked I used his colour to describe him.

Totally prepared to be told AIBU...not in the least bit racist and will be quite embarrassed if I've got it to wrong....

GO!

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 17/05/2015 20:20

I think it's fine. If you had said he 'had ginger hair' to describe him, would that be a problem.

BluebeardsSidekick · 17/05/2015 20:21

Of course you weren't. You described the man and in doing so gave a major identifying feature. Your colleague needs to get a grip if that's all it takes to shock them!

Dosydoly · 17/05/2015 20:21

I can't see why it would be racist to describe someone by their colour. To say it is would suggest to me that ones colour is something to be ashamed of.

partialderivative · 17/05/2015 20:22

Your desciption was accurate.

Theycallmemellowjello · 17/05/2015 20:22

No not racist in the least imo. I think that if you start randomly mentioning people's races where it's not relevant ("my Asian friend") then it shows you're defining people by race and it is a bit racist. But that doesn't mean that it's rude ever to talk about race. Describing someone, as you were, it's obviously very relevant. And it's actually pretty offensive for your colleague to have acted like there is something bad about being called black.

SaucyJack · 17/05/2015 20:22

No, it's fine.

I don't think there's any offence in calling a black person black.

thetroubleis · 17/05/2015 20:24

I used to work in an FE college and had a black colleague. It made us both laugh till we wet ourselves listening to all the descriptives students would use before the word 'black.'

I think it's ok.

ExitStageLeft · 17/05/2015 20:28

Ha! I can imagine trouble....

My original post has come out weird. Thanks all!

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 17/05/2015 20:29

You described his clothes & glasses as well, so it's not as if you defined him solely by his colour. I think black is fine as an adjective, just not as a noun.
I'm mixed race, btw, but I'm 58, so maybe out of date with terminology Smile

Notfootball · 17/05/2015 20:30

I think it's fine. She asked what he looked like and you described him. I'm sure if he had blonde hair you would have narrowed it down by saying blonde (and in effect saying he was white).

Lorialet · 17/05/2015 20:31

Why should describing the colour of someone's skin be any more offensive than describing the colour of their hair or their eyes?

ExitStageLeft · 17/05/2015 20:31

DH is now saying it is "un pc" saying what I said. He says its like saying someone is "a spaz..." Hmm

I wholeheartedly disagree. Spaz is a vile, derogatory word. The boy I was talking about was/is black.

OP posts:
Charis1 · 17/05/2015 20:31

apparatnly we are not allowed to say "black" now, the correct term has changed to "person of colour", so I'm told

Hmm
Kampeki · 17/05/2015 20:31

No, it isn't racist to talk about skin colour when you're trying to describe someone's appearance.

In fact, I think it is probably more racist to skirt around the issue as if it's something that shouldn't be mentioned!

ExitStageLeft · 17/05/2015 20:32

This is it Bigchoc, I don't know whether saying "black" is even the right thing to say...

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/05/2015 20:33

FFS is your colleague 5 years old?

Of course there was nothing wrong in the way you described him.

If he was wearing a denim jacket, had dark rimmed glasses on and was a white lad, would they have a problem with that too?

Lorialet · 17/05/2015 20:33

Why do we have MOBO awards if the therm "black" is offensive?

WhetherOrNot · 17/05/2015 20:34

I don't know whether saying "black" is even the right thing to say...

Nobody knows any more, OP! And what is right today will be wrong tomorrow. Tis a minefield out there!

Notfootball · 17/05/2015 20:34

Exit I'm black and I like to be described as black. Someone will come on shortly and contradict me...

ScarlettDarling · 17/05/2015 20:35

Wow, I think your Dh id being unreasonable. In what universe is being called black comparable to being called 'spaz'? Black is a description of skin colour, spaz is a nasty insult. No op, yanbu, but your colleague and DH definitely are.

WorraLiberty · 17/05/2015 20:35

Of course black is the right thing to say.

And WRT your DH and 'spaz', there really are no words at all...

Hoppinggreen · 17/05/2015 20:38

I have done similar and my 10 year old DD was totally horrified - she said that saying the word " black" in reference to a person is racist.
I checked with a couple of friends who are Jamaican and they told me that it's fine and they would have no issue at all being referred to as black as long as it was as a way of describing them the than a derogatory term.
I remember trying to describe a boy in a group to a friend who is black and totally tied myself in knots trying to avoid a reference to his colour, having tried " green jumper" ( they were in uniform) and similar,my friend said " oh, the black boy"
My friend tells me she would NOT want to be referred to as a person of colour as we are all coloured - hers happens to be black!

BigChocFrenzy · 17/05/2015 20:38

You weren't making out a police report with IC2 male etc.
I'm sure your manner was no different to if you had said "denim jacket, glasses, white lad"
I can't keep up with terminology. We need somewhere that issues official etiquette updates < flips frantically theough Debretts >

ExitStageLeft · 17/05/2015 20:39

No Worral, he wasn't using the word Spaz...he was saying it would be like saying that...

OP posts:
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 17/05/2015 20:40

apparently we are not allowed to say "black" now, the correct term has changed to "person of colour", so I'm told

who told you that? Person of colour is an American phrase and isn't used in the UK at all. Considering that most black people self identify as black I don't know who would have the right to say 'we' can't use it any longer.