To have called this lad "black"...

[ExitStageLeft]

Genuinely unsure about this and need the bluntness of AIBU.

I work at a college, was working with a group of young men and one wandered off. I poked my head back into the office and asked if anyone had seen the missing student. My colleague asked what he looked like and I said:

"He's wearing a denim jacket, got dark rimmed glasses on â?? black lad."

My colleague was shocked I used his colour to describe him.

Totally prepared to be told AIBU...not in the least bit racist and will be quite embarrassed if I've got it to wrong....

GO!

Mermaidhair But that's useless as a description. What does 'dark skinned' mean?

Black? Brown? Olive? Tanned?

Mermaid hair honestly don't. Black, Asian, Arab, whatever. Dark skinned is absurd and mealy mouthed.

Yes you can say black. It's not incorrect. You weren't being offensive you were trying to find someone in a college full of student. I will no doubt be corrected by someone who knows better.

I have had this confusion in the past. Years ago it was perfectly fine to describe someone as "Black", then somewhere along the line "Black" suddenly became racist and you were to use the term "Coloured".
Now "Coloured" is no longer acceptable.

I live in an area with lots of black families, before I lived here I have in the past described them as black (if the need arises) without knowing if it was acceptable or not. I often use black or white to describe someone.

Last week I had an African woman knock my door looking for a neighbour so I asked the name of the family, she was struggling to remember their surname but said its a black lady. There are 3 black families in our small cul-de-sac so was able to narrow it down to one of those 3 with a few more questions was able to pinpoint the family.

If she had been looking for one of the white families I would not have been offended if she had said "Its a white woman"
Most of the black people here refer themselves as black and it is not racist if you use it to describe somebody.

Genuine question, which I hope doesn't cause offence. When I grew up the term Asian was used for people of Indian or Pakastani heritage, but we now seem to have adopted the U.S. usage where it also applies to people from China, Japan & surrounding countries. Am I the only one who finds this confusing? Apparently the term Oriental is offensive because it's euro-centric to describe someone by the direction their country lies in. Is there a more acceptable term?

I had that once. I was in a shop and one of the assistants was especially helpful - beyond the call helpful. I always like to mention it if I can. So I spoke to the supervisor and she asked which assistant. Now the girl who helped me was the only black assistant on the shop floor, so I said "the young black lady."

Honestly, you'd have thought I'd had used a derogatory word, the look on the supervisor's face.

South Asian (Indian/Pakistan/etc)
South East Asian (Thailand/Vietnam/etc)
East Asian (China/Japan/etc)

If I can't correctly pick the exact country, which is easiest for East Asians (for me anyway - others may disagree).

I play a team sport and at the end of a match, each team picks an outstanding player from the other team. It can be hilarious watching the knots people tie themselves up into....

"I have had this confusion in the past. Years ago it was perfectly fine to describe someone as "Black", then somewhere along the line "Black" suddenly became racist and you were to use the term "Coloured".
Now "Coloured" is no longer acceptable."

Gosh, you must be even older than I am! I don't think "coloured" has been the accepted term in my lifetime.........

My own query on the subject: I have read that "Arab" is acceptable but doesn't feel right to me (I might go for "middle eastern" or "north African"). Thoughts?

"My own query on the subject: I have read that "Arab" is acceptable but doesn't feel right to me (I might go for "middle eastern" or "north African"). Thoughts?"

What are the circumstances in which you need to use either?

When describing someone to identify them among a crowd of people

It's funny (peculiar) how we have the blanket terms white and black to cover a massive group of people, whereas people from Asia get broken down a lot more into smaller groups.

I know a Chinese personally will generally look very different to a Pakistani and be very different culturally, but so would a Ghanian and an Ethiopian.

And then we have Middle eastern which I think includes countries that are in Africa as well as those in Asia.

I get confused between race, nationality and ethinicty too. Very confused.

YANBU. Some people seem to have a notion that its "racist" to describe anyone as being non-white. Or as being of a certain nationality. Of course, its perfectly acceptable to describe blonds as "thick", "pale", "fair skinned" and so on...

I know a Chinese personally will generally look very different to a Pakistani and be very different culturally, but so would a Ghanian and an Ethiopian

This is purely from academic fascination but I wonder if the difference between a Chinese person and a Pakistani person is equally pronounced across all ethnic groups? I suspect not, assuming that our own ethnicity and cultural upbringing "trains" us to have a more expert eye in distinguishing faces more like our own.

I would confidently be able to call Ghanaian .v. Ethopian (ignoring for the minute that this is a nationality description, not an ethnic description) but would struggle with Ethiopian .v. Somalian (I think), yet assume for some others, it's really obvious?

"When describing someone to identify them among a crowd of people confused"

Well, how would you if they were all white?

(As ever with such conversations, the usual disclaimers apply. If I am being offensive, it is completely inadvertent and I am happy to be corrected in a polite and firm fashion, less happy about being ranted at for making a mistake)

Well, how would you if they were all white?

I'm not sure I get your meaning but I'm pretty sure you have one hidden in there

Can you clarify?

Sorry, no hidden message at all. If I have to describe someone in a group I'd say the one in the red shirt, or second from the left, or something like that. I'm not sure I'd be trying to decide which bit of North Africa their forebears came from.............I don't think I've ever been in a situation like that.

It's really because this collegue sees something wrong or insulting to actually be black.

It's fucking ridiculous op. You describe someone but say if they had a huge nose you might not mention that as it's a rude personal remark.

Skin or hair colour is just a fact.

People like your colleague are terminally tedious arnt they.

I am more offended by the poster who identifies people as having an accent and not having an accent. Everyone has an accent including the Queen.

Also working as a teacher, I would think twice about using the word 'black' to describe someone. OP is however NBU - it was the only sensible thing to say in that situation.

If I have to describe someone in a group I'd say the one in the red shirt, or second from the left, or something like that
Yep, if your target is wearing a red shirt, fabulous!

I don't think I've ever been in a situation like that
Fair enough, I was probably stretching the original situation beyond the realms of reality

I think it is because you probably wouldn't have used colour if the missing person had been white? Eg curly hair glasses white

"Gosh, you must be even older than I am! I don't think "coloured" has been the accepted term in my lifetime........."

Coloured was deemed more acceptable than black when i was younger. And I'm not that old, I think.

"I think it is because you probably wouldn't have used colour if the missing person had been white? Eg curly hair glasses white"

And I agree with that. Even if the number was black and White students was similar - "white" probably wouldn't be tagged on as a description but I'd imagine black would more likely to be.