To expect doctors to have a decent bedside manner?

[bluejeanswhiteshirt]

I took my 7 month old DD to see an out of hours GP at the hospital last night. I'm fully aware that they are busy and tired etc. but she was unbelievably grumpy and stern looking and it was obvious she didn't want to be there.

She checked DD over and was very firm when checking her over and moving her head into position (not rough but could have been more gentle) and there was just no bedside manner there at all. Is this normal in your experience??

mamadoc I did say that and know exactly what you mean. It's been a long weekend and I've been left feeling fragile but grateful that the doctor helped, whether she was happy to or not.

Sorry, I didn't mean simultaneously. She was checking out a rash around her mouth with the torch thing whilst trying to keep her head still and then DP held her as still as possible when she checked inside her mouth. It looked worse than what it was because DD is at an age where she wants to eat everything and moves her head towards whatever she wants to chew on next so the doc did have a job on her hands.

OP I've no beef with you. Your posts have been moderate but some others have not.

I hope your baby is better soon.

I doubt that the Dr was unhappy to see your baby. Any Dr will always want a parent to bring a baby they are concerned about because they do get ill quickly and they can't obviously tell you what's wrong. I expect they just weren't on top of their communication game for whatever reason. They should have done better, they should have done both but if they examined her properly that was the most important thing IMHO.

Please don't let it put you off taking her again if she's not better or you ever need to in future.

mamadoc I'm not concluding it from that one incident, I'm concluding it from over 10 years' experience of dealing frequently with medical professionals. You seem very reasonable and you have said you agree that communication skills and empathy are important. I only wish that were true of more medical professionals more of the time. It really isn't just prima donna patients who feel this way, as the thread shows.

Oh, okay, thanks for clarifying. I was there thinking "Dear god, please tell me someone trained this doctor in how to have kids held for ENT examination". When we have new trainees coming through, it's one of the things I always want to show them. Of course, my personal technique for examining throats has a quick step backwards as I get the view - reduces how often you get puked on!

Hope your little one is better soon.

My view is that it depends on your specialty a bit.
I'm a psychiatrist so communication is pretty much all I've got a lot of the time. I like to think I am good at it.

If I needed my hip replacing I would be much, much more interested in the surgeon's operative skills than their bedside manner. Generally surgeons love operating and have selected their career path based on having technical skills. I can forgive it if their communication is sometimes a bit off. Usually they realise this and have specialist nurses to support.

My friend who is an anaesthetist is absolutely the guy you want if you collapse on the street. He's much more likely to save your life than I am but empathy is not his strong suit. His style is brusque but that's what you need leading an arrest team.

The balance of technique vs communication also depends on the situation. In an emergency it is harder to get communication 100% right than in a routine situation that you are practised at.

I have had my fair share of experiences from the other side and I can never forgive the respiratory consultant who I spoke to whilst I was fighting to get treatment for my mum's cancer who said that it would be 'pissing in the wind' as she had no chance anyway. He was wrong, thank God, and she's still alive 2 yrs later.

All I'm trying to say is that the 'basic competence' someone described upthread is hard work in itself and combines a lot of knowledge and technical skill. Communication is a very important aspect but not completely over-riding in all situations.

I don't think it's ok to excuse poor attitudes in doctors on the basis that they have to be multi skilled and are doing a difficult job.

Obviously the approach has to be tailored to the situation, but this wasn't surgery or an imminently life threatening medical emergency.

The op describes the doctor as 'unbelievably grumpy' and that 'it was obvious she didn't want to be there'. How is that acceptable?

I got told that I couldnt have children and I wasnt suitable for IVFi n an appointment that took less that 5 minutes with a rude gynae who showed she clearly couldnt care less that she was giving us upsetting news, amd had no empathy at all. Some doctors should not be doctors with such appalling bedside manner, or at least shold choose their specialty more carefully