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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect doctors to have a decent bedside manner?

84 replies

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 17/05/2015 19:26

I took my 7 month old DD to see an out of hours GP at the hospital last night. I'm fully aware that they are busy and tired etc. but she was unbelievably grumpy and stern looking and it was obvious she didn't want to be there.

She checked DD over and was very firm when checking her over and moving her head into position (not rough but could have been more gentle) and there was just no bedside manner there at all. Is this normal in your experience??

OP posts:

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/05/2015 20:04

not in the job description

Yes it bloody well IS.

I'm not a Dr or a Nurse but I am a HCP.
We have Mandatory Training in "Customer Care" (hate that phrase) and Conflict Resolution as well as Communication skills.
I don't work with children but I do work mainly with adults including patients with dementia.
Often the way something is said rather than the words makes a difference.
And even if I've had the day from Hell and I'm treating a patient I really don't like , I am nothing but Professional. I might not be nicey smiley/ But I'll be utterly polite and do my job to the uptmost of my capabilities.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/05/2015 20:05

And I have a Bitchy resting face to overcome too [sigh]

Roseforarose · 17/05/2015 20:06

Sorry, but it's not in the job description
Perhaps it's time it was then. People on nat min wages working in supermarkets get it in their job description.Having to be polite and friendly to customers, service with a smile and all that. It's not hard. They are probably equally as tired as doctors but are still expected to be helpful and courteous at all times.

Greenrememberedhills · 17/05/2015 20:08

At one point there was a department of health push to improve doctors communication skills.

However that was before they became quite overworked.

ginslinger · 17/05/2015 20:10

It was certainly in my job description

Redglitter · 17/05/2015 20:10

one of the GPs in our practise (now retired) had a tertible bedside manner. Lots of people just wouldn't go see him because of it. He just didn't suffer fools. I loved him. He was straight to the point but the best GP I've ever been to. I was gutted he retired as we're many others going by the cards and presents he got. He was a fabulous doctor.

VivaLeBeaver · 17/05/2015 20:10

Some Drs are a bit clueless with small kids. They may be doing a paed or a&e rotation for three months with plans to go into a speciality where they never have to see a child again.

Ages ago I saw a really funny flow chart to help junior Drs decide what sort of speciality to go into. One question was "do you like your patients conscious or unconscious?". If you picked unconcious the next question was "do you like your patients dead or alive?" Before telling you you should either be an anaesthetist or a pathologist.

ImperialBlether · 17/05/2015 20:11

Deirdre, he was lucky I couldn't go back in to speak to him, that's all I can say! And he was of an age to have a mother the age of mine, too.

SockQueen · 17/05/2015 20:11

It very much is in the job description. The person specification for my current job includes some basic bits about competency in English, but also (apologies if dodgy formatting)

"Communication skills:

Demonstrates clarity in written/spoken

communication, and capacity to adapt language to the situation, as appropriate

Able to build rapport, listen, persuade and

negotiate."

"Empathy and sensitivity:

Capacity to take in others’ perspectives and treat

others with understanding; sees patients as people

Demonstrates respect for all."

VivaLeBeaver · 17/05/2015 20:11

There are plenty of Drs who should go into either anaesthetics or pathology but I suspect wouldn't cut it.

SockQueen · 17/05/2015 20:13

You still need good communication skills to be an anaesthetist!

VivaLeBeaver · 17/05/2015 20:15

Yes, I know. I'm sure that flow chart was tongue in cheek. A fab anaesthetist with a reassuring bedside manner makes all the difference.

Marshy · 17/05/2015 20:27

Not in the job description??! Ffs.....of course it is.

Competence goes without saying and is a basic requirement. I wouldn't be looking for friendliness from a doctor (that's what you have friends for) but I would be looking for professionalism and that would include politeness and an attempt to demonstrate care for the patient and a wish to put them at ease.

If you are having a bad day...well then tough shit, frankly. Speak to your manager or clinical supervisor about it but don't take your grumpiness out on the next poor unfortunate soul to walk through the door.

I had a painful procedure carried out in my local hospital this week. The staff were bloody brilliant and really cared for me, including the doctor and nursing staff at all levels. When I got home I sent a card thanking them for their great service.

I would have no hesitation in complaining about the service you got op. People need pulling up on this kind of behaviour.

I am an nhs hcp and would never take out a bad mood on a patient.

gatlinout · 17/05/2015 20:34

YANBU.

I had a similar experience on Monday. Took my almost 5 yo to the Dr with a suspected urine infection.

Dr wanted to check it wasn't an external soreness and barked at DD to get on the sofa and take her trousers down. DD wouldn't and Dr was very rude and 'off' about it.

My DC know all about the underwear rule etc and that their bodies are their own and it was a really difficult situation because I had to try to reassure DD that it was ok to show a Dr all the while this Dr was being as unapproachable and intimidating as possible.

TheOldestCat · 17/05/2015 20:41

This is why a doctor who is also a patient has started the 'hello my name is' push. Simple and effective:

TheOldestCat · 17/05/2015 20:41

Sorry meant to post this: hellomynameis.org.uk

gatlinout · 17/05/2015 20:46

Oh one of the GPs at my surgers introduced himself like that recently TheOldestCat, I was most taken aback

Marshy · 17/05/2015 20:48

Great link.

A therapeutic relationship is the basis of all good care and being able to establish one quickly and in challenging circumstances is a clinical skill that all hcps need to acquire.

listsandbudgets · 17/05/2015 20:56

YANBU. Children are often scared when they are in hospital and a good bedside manner can make a huge difference.

DD was rushed into a&e by ambulance last year with double vision, severe head pain and memory loss. The doctor she saw was abolutely amazing and started by calming her down before she moved to any tests or examination. (dD was eventually diagnosed with a severe migraine but she was ill for about 3 weeks) The bedside maner of the doctor made a huge difference to how she reacted to being in hospital

hazeyjane · 17/05/2015 20:56

I wrote a letter to the hospital last week after having to visit A&E with ds, who had had a suspected seizure.

The treatment we had was fantastic, especially from the emergency paed who treated ds, he was patient, and gentle and very calm with ds, who is disabled non verbal and gets very scared and overwhelmed in certain situations. he was able to get meds into him - in the past and with other drs, we have had to resort to suppositories.

The 'bedside manner' is so important when treating a patient who may be scared and overwhelmed.

We had a previous visit, where the dr was appalling, she didn't address or try to engage ds at all, she disbelieved us when we said that his pain threshold was such that he may need an xray on his leg, which he wouldn't put any weight on - he had had a fall. She made us feel like crap and upset ds. It transpired (on a second visit) that he had suffered a partial dislocation of the hip.

TenerifeSea · 17/05/2015 20:58

YANBU. People are often at their most vulnerable when they come in contact with HCPs. I'm staggered that people seem to think compassion isn't part of job description!

Original poster

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 17/05/2015 21:11

She wasn't rude as such and wasn't rough with her but I'm very overprotective and treat her like she's made of fine china so seeing her being prodded and poked by doctors makes me feel a bit uncomfortable even when it's a friendly doctor. I think that was just her personality. Are OOHs doctors you see in a&e always specialised in children or could they be any type of doctor? Sorry if that sounds dumb!

OP posts:

Musicaltheatremum · 17/05/2015 21:16

Being polite and caring is part of the job. I once recently apologised to a patient who had heard my sigh of "oh no not another patient to see" on a really busy, never ending Monday morning when I spoke to her in the phone. I was mortified she had picked up on it. There is no excuse for being rude and sometimes if I am stressed I try even harder to be nicer as you get. Feel good factor out of that. As long as you're not coming with a cold that started when you woke up, haven't taken anything and it's only 11am, then I do get a bit annoyed.

Sirzy · 17/05/2015 21:18

Hcps being friendly is a massive part of the job, especially with children.

Ds loves going to hospital, in large because of how friendly most of the hcps he has had contact with are. One of his consultants will always stop and chat to him on ward rounds or in the waiting room. Another sat at his bedside when he was about 2 drawing pics with him before examining him.

Much better approach, and more likely to get a child to cooperate!

hazeyjane · 17/05/2015 21:20

No they aren't always dr's who deal with children. Unfortunately the prodding and poking is part of the job, but should be done gently!

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