If you have a lot spare money which I don't compared to some there is a big issue of when not to give them so much they become idle so and sos on drugs who never do any work but I am not in that mega rich category so that's not an issue.
as a side story I saw a friend a few months ago, (who had moved away), and actually made friends with one person like that.
essentially all he talked about was the places he'd gone, and stayed, and how nice they were, all off the work of his incredibly well off parents. and most of his speech was slurred, and hard to understand. from what I understand he spends most of his life still living at home, and living a high life of travel and fancy toys at his parents expense, working in the easiest jobs he can find in order to earn some small amount of money which is immediately spent on drink and or drugs. (his brother was a lawyer)
which just goes to show that even with the best breeding and opportunity (which I called luck) without hard work it is incredibly easy to waste that.
Um... not sure what we all really mean here.
let me spell it out.
You claim that your son is a postman only earning 20k (which is almost twice national minimum wage anyway), and thus not worth of receiving multiple 5 figure cash gifts to pay his stamp duty, and to help with a deposit, like your other kids, (who are presumably more driven by money?)
When I said abut the difference in helping children, I wasn't talking about the inequality between yourself, and someone currently in social housing earning minimum wage being unable to cash gift a deposit, I was talking specifically about the difference in helping your own children. -and wondering why that was? (are you scared that your postman son will become a lazy drug addict if you help him too much?) - how does this compare with someone say like Paul Flowers, who presumably worked very hard to become chief exec of a bank. (and so would have been more than worth of these five figure cash gifts if he were your child), and yet was a massive drug addict? (cocaine, ketamine, methamphetamine etc)
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/may/07/co-op-bank-paul-flowers-court-drug-charges
I wondered why you saw fit to help one of your children with help in deposits and paying stamp duty for them. and yet at the same time refuse help to another child.
Whilst we have no (either official, or personal "lotus") definition of hard work, I suspect that your book smart daughter, like you probably works hard, in the same way that I work hard, reading, and pressing keys on a computer in the right order.
Your son on the other hand also works hard, carrying a heavy mail bag and walking places, in all weathers. - but for some reason you believe that remuneration is the only indicator of "how hard" work is.
I also questioned your term Au-Pair like to describe your child collecting (I would assume his very junior siblings from school)
a real Au-Pair is a young foreign person.
Their duty to you is to help with the kids, (i.e. collect them from school and cook a meal for the kids)
Your duty to them is to house them, and feed them, and pay them...
My point being that if you actually charge your son rent, it's more like having a live in servant than an Au-Pair.
-which is really weird that you'd treat one child to multiple five figure cash gifts, and another like an aupair, (and charge them rent for living with you?) and expect them to be grateful, whilst you also worried that if you gave them too much that they might turn to drugs?
I'm not really sure what you meant about changing the law so that people could not feed their children? I'm not even sure where you got the thought from!?
I would still like to find a way to get nota able to buy somewhere.
I'm not really the problem. given as I am from a "not uncomfortable" background.
as discussed, I have high personal debts caused by my personal life choices.
however some of my personal life choices (like yours) were to save what I could, when I could this has undeniably helped me... however, perhaps against your jam tomorrow philosophy I also borrowed money.
Specifically I borrowed significantly at two points in my life, the first was whilst I was in university, - because my parents couldn't afford to spend millions on my education. so instead I took a student loan to pay my fees, and I worked throughout university, I've no doubt that this affected my education. but you do with what you've got.
I don't regret this borrowing, (either student loan or overdraft) because this has lead to me earning higher wages now.
The second point in my life I borrowed significantly was in order to send my child to day care/nursery, arguably this was done so that neither myself, nor my ex had to quit work, or take a long hiatus, which (as numerous threads on here point out) make ever getting back into a reasonably paid job difficult.
As I said, for the past few years I've been paying off over a thousand pounds a month from those debts. (in addition to renting privately) so (in three to four years according to my spreadsheet) when the remaining debts are paid off, I should only really need to spend the following three or four years continuing to live in "uncomfortable" accommodation whilst saving for a deposit. (essentially in a decade I'll be able to afford to buy. I'll be in my mid forties, but still perfectly able to get a 25 year mortgage with a view to retire at 70.)
The real issue isn't really people like me, who are already inside the top 25% of earners in the country. the real issue is those below that!
If people don't want to buy somewhere much too small
Those that can't even afford to buy these small places you speak of.