To be so fascinated by old people

[Missu2]

Hi everyone I'm a long time lurker

Today I was at the shops waiting for my child to pick a sweet, when this old lady walks in now, when I say old I mean hunched back can hardly walk sort of old maybe nearly 90! And I was so amazed and I don't know why! I just had this thought "I hope I can reach that age"I tried so hard not to stare at her! but this is not the first time. And I have always had this urge to ask these old people about their lives and a childhood, so long ago it would be history.

My friends think I'm strange and to be that old would be horrible and so near death but I beg to differ, by that age I would have most likely lost most of my loved ones,mum, hubby etc. that dying would no more be scary to me, you have to really think about this lol.

I suffer from pnd my best friend thinks this is why I have an obsession of my interest in very old oaps but it is not, I have always found them inspiring to live life to the fullest and I just can't explain why!

Please someone feel the same way as me?! Or have I always been mad?!

Scared of responses but I'm honest and just want to know I'm not alone in this. oaps phobia is so strange to me, I can only hope to live so long!!

I'm friends with some woman who are well into their 80's - they are a great bunch of woman - they never go on about the good old days as I think they are too busy with living in the present. They are fun, stylish and clever.

Obviously not all old people are nice, there are some right cantankerous ones out there, but just as some say "they love children", even though not all kids are nice there is nothing wrong in liking old people in general.
My DD works with them, loves her job because she loves old people, just as some people love to work with children because they love them. I'd rather have that than the ones who don't love them. Far too much political correctness these days. Like walking on egg shells on mumsnet.

Don't 'ffs' me. Maybe you can afford to be flippant if the norm for you is people,living well into their 80s and beyond. For those of us less fortunate, the assumption that a long life is yours for the taking is not something that can be relied upon. And your reaction to that is to 'ffs' me and accuse me of being politically correct?

"Far too much political correctness these days. Like walking on egg shells on mumsnet."

Really? It's actually quite easy, really. Don't say offensive things. Sorted. No problem.

Yep. Why can't we just have a thread without SOMEONE coming on to say "well it doesn't apply to me" etc. etc. It was Just A General Ending To A Poem - nothing to be taking offense at you know.

I wasn't offended. I was just lightly pointing out that many, many people will not reach that age and the ones who have are the fortunate ones. I really don't think that warranted that terse response.

Hak offensive things? who has and what??

fiveacres - OK. Whatever. We'll agree to differ, yes?

I love social history, and could while away hours reading about life in the 1930's, or how people lived a few hundred years ago. Unfortunately, most of the elderly people I've met have been grumpy buggers, very blunt, rude, snobby, racist and depressing. I've seen them being rude to teenagers and anyone they consider to be young (including myself - I'm in my 40's!).

I am quite softly spoken and old people never seem to hear me.....I find myself straining and having to shout to be heard, but they still don't 'get' me.

There is one elderly lady living near me who is a blast though, she's in tune with young people but tells me some really interesting stuff about her life.

"Hak offensive things? who has and what??"

You were the one talking about political correctness and having to walk on egg shells......

Personally I think talking about a group of people as if they were a cross between particularly interesting exhibits in a zoo and a documentary series on BBC2 is incredibly offensive. And saying that you "love old people" is the same as saying you "love children" is particularly yucky.

"Unfortunately, most of the elderly people I've met have been grumpy buggers, very blunt, rude, snobby, racist and depressing.

Oh, for fuck's sake, it gets worse!

Before anyone posts anything else, I suggest they go back through this thread replacing the word "old" with "black". See what that looks like.

Hak when I said its like walking on egg shells, it's exacly someone like you, taking offence and reading something in to it that's not there. Don't fucking dare imply that I'm being insulting. As I said my daughter loves working with old people , and they love her too, are you implying that she sees them as exhibits in a zoo? How dare you. You're the one with the problem, looking for something to moan about. Has the actual thread upset you too or have you just picked on mine.

I know Hakluyt, it's such a shame isn't it? I have tried to get along with the elderly people I've met, but have always found them to be so grumpy. It's a shame but I guess people become cynical as life goes on, and decide to speak their mind far more than when they were younger, and don't particularly care who they offend. My mum always says that by the time you reach old age, you have the right to be rude!

My neighbour was such an old grump - even at her funeral there were things said about how difficult she was. I bet I'll end up like that!

Some people are so pernickity.
It was clear the OP was just having an idle chat on a Sunday afternoon, about how interesting she finds some older people she has chatted to. Only on MN can people take offence to that

I've been at many a funeral, where someone has talked about the life of the person who has died - someone I may have known for 30 or 40 years or more, although not been especially close to - and thought 'Wow! I didn't know that'.
In terms of fascinating - even people who have led what they consider to be very ordinary lives can be fascinating to those of us interested in social history - in the same way that dc are interested in 'What was it like when you were a little girl Mum?', many of us are interested in the ordinary details or ordinary lives from generations before.
There's nothing patronising about that. It's interesting stuff. I like hearing about other people's lives - and that can be because people have lived in a time I haven't, or people have lived in a place I haven't - it's interesting.

slight overuse of the word 'interesting' there

Well, at the risk of being snarled at, she wasn't - she was 'trying not to stare' at old people in shops!

''We are the Mumsnet Appreciation Society'' sung

Oops wrong topic

Backforgood So true, if you really wanted to you could probably find something offensive in everything. Sometimes I'm shocked at the perfectly harmless things that someone will take offence at. Must be hard going living with someone like that.

I only live with my children, who luckily seem to think I'm quite nice :)

My class had an Open Day when relatives were invited to speak. We had a Unionist who fought in the Dockers strike. We had a machinist from Dagenham. We had, amazingly, a lady who was a native French speaker who worked as a spy.

At the lower end of the scale, my class collected everyday oral history. We had small amazing stories every day. Women who movingly explained the choice between working or not. Women who knew what it was to work for peanuts and use a twin tub and fight for a wage. We had women who wee the first councillors, the first doctors.

The thing is, it wasn't that the visitors were showing history. It IS still hard for some girls to be doctors from growing up in tenements, it IS is still hard to do a job and be a mum. What struck me is that these women (my nan!) are not different, they are the same, their struggles are the same. We need to listen to "old" people. We need their stories.

My great gran grew up as a part of a family of 14. 8 of her family were killed in the IWW. She then had a family. Her daughter had a child out of wedlock during WWII: amazingly for then, she supported her and the daughter went on to marry and have a happy blended family. Thing is, many, many others also did during the war. There was an acceptance that we have almost lost. My nan's memories were amazing, her history, to me, thrilling. But it was typical. If you read history you know the facts. My family shows the real history: families bent and swayed and accomodated. Womens' status was in flux.

It's amazing. I agrre: if you can have tea and cake with any old person, do ot.

That's probably because 40 year olds aren't fascinating. They haven't lived a long life. Old people have and to hear about their lives which are so far removed from today is fascinating for lots of people. If that's what some want to call patronising, fine, but I personally think it's lovely when, people(especially young people) show an interest. Better that than to not give a damn.

Agree with babyboomers-either mad old biddies, sad old duffers or saintly holders of magic history button.
Many very old people are interesting to talk to because they have lived through interesting times-but, equally, many are not very interesting at all. Just like people of all ages in fact.