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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so fascinated by old people

137 replies

Missu2 · 15/05/2015 22:21

Hi everyone I'm a long time lurker

Today I was at the shops waiting for my child to pick a sweet, when this old lady walks in now, when I say old I mean hunched back can hardly walk sort of old maybe nearly 90! And I was so amazed and I don't know why! I just had this thought "I hope I can reach that age"I tried so hard not to stare at her! but this is not the first time. And I have always had this urge to ask these old people about their lives and a childhood, so long ago it would be history.

My friends think I'm strange and to be that old would be horrible and so near death but I beg to differ, by that age I would have most likely lost most of my loved ones,mum, hubby etc. that dying would no more be scary to me, you have to really think about this lol.

I suffer from pnd my best friend thinks this is why I have an obsession of my interest in very old oaps but it is not, I have always found them inspiring to live life to the fullest and I just can't explain why!

Please someone feel the same way as me?! Or have I always been mad?!

Scared of responses but I'm honest and just want to know I'm not alone in this. oaps phobia is so strange to me, I can only hope to live so long!!

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 15/05/2015 23:39

From a very personal perspective I notice old git/bat etc. on here and it makes me angry.

We will all be old one day and that is worth remembering.

Salmotrutta · 15/05/2015 23:42

textfan - that is exactly what I mean!

HemanOrSheRa · 15/05/2015 23:44

I work with older people and spent 4 hours last night with a 97 year old lady. She was bloody fabulous. We were waiting for an ambulance (a whole story in itself Angry) but she told me loads of wonderful stories about her childhood, early adulthood, family life. She was amazing.

All of the people I work with have great stories to tell. I love looking at their old photo's too.

Your photo's are lovely cogito.

Salmotrutta · 15/05/2015 23:46

I have very fond memories of listening to one of my Grans tales of being "in service" and the other one being "in an office job" in the 1910s and it was fascinating!

textfan · 16/05/2015 02:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Qwebec · 16/05/2015 02:41

I'm rather indifferent towards children, but the elderly make my heart melt. Talking with them is so fun, easy, genuine. Some are hard cookies, but most I've met are amazing.

SilverSamhainFairy · 16/05/2015 03:14

I have been honoured to know several Holocaust survivors. Just talking with someone who survived Auschwitz and Terezin is awe inspiring. I wish I had spent more time talking with my grandmother, she was a feminist and strong supporter of abortion and birth control rights.

BernardlookImaprostituterobotf · 16/05/2015 03:27

I actually found the whole tone of the op really offensive. Put any other descriptor in there and she would have been given a much harder time. I wasn't going to comment at all because of that and op mentioning her PND. Don't think I can handle it in a supportive way. But I did want to say:

Cogito - I'm so sorry for your loss. Those pictures are beautiful and brought a lump to my throat. I have similar of my great grandmother and me, I only have tiny snippets of memories of her as I was a still only a toddler when she died but those photos invoke a physical feeling still and I feel a bond with the person behind the stories I've heard. I hope they become a treasure for your DS as well as you, they're so touching. I hope you can celebrate lots of memories that bring comfort at such a painful time.

MammaTJ · 16/05/2015 06:56

Do take the time to same them about themselves, most would love that! Do many people rush by and fail to notice them!

Original poster
Missu2 · 16/05/2015 07:00

You are right, Bernard. Maybe I should have kept my thoughts to myself.

I'm so sorry to cause you offence. And to everyone else. Sorry.

OP posts:
redcaryellowcar · 16/05/2015 07:11

Yanbu to be fascinated, my grandma led a very interesting life, although nothing spectacular, born early 30's, grew up in seaside town in Kent, lived through Second World War as a child, her mother, my great grandmother still had a washboard and mangle for washing clothes when I was a child. She went to work at big dept store in london, I assume had a lifestyle similar to selfridges tv prog, although perhaps not quite as much filming and selfridges set a bit earlier, but I believe it's when department stores were really thriving. She married my grandfather around 21 years old which apparently meant she was virtually 'on the shelf' and they moved to an apartment in Brighton. They had three children, she is still a lively and vibrant lady who has great friends and lots of grandchildren and an ever increasing number of great grand babies. I love that you can talk really honestly to her, she doesn't bat an eye at discussions about bras, underwear, who you were (and how many) you were dating as a teenager. She is now in her 80s and still lives independently, she doesn't have e mail or Internet access but phones me to order things from Amazon for her, then dutifully sits in all day for them to be delivered!!

Original poster
Missu2 · 16/05/2015 07:11

Cogitosum, those pictures are so beautiful, thank you so much for sharing. Your grandad looks so proud. x

OP posts:
Original poster
Missu2 · 16/05/2015 07:19

Redcar that sounds so wonderful, I really wish I had this experience. Maybe this is why I'm so curious? Hehe at 'on the shelf' guess I'm on there too :D

OP posts:
HelpMeTummyPain · 16/05/2015 08:41

It is obvious that OP is being kind and genuine even if the initial post could have been worded slightly differently. People in their eighties and nineties are old. It's a fact. And they are amazingly interesting to speak with because they have lived a long time and have a huge wealth of experiences to share.

Posters reacting as if OP is seeing the elderly as being some kind of zoo exhibit and criticising her are out of order.

fiveacres · 16/05/2015 08:56

Some elderly people are lovely and fascinating but I don't understand why you would stare at one in a shop - I think that is rude, and I think that's what Hak was referring to.

The commands of 'get to know your elderly neighbour' grate a bit; not all elderly people are sweetness and light with fascinating stories!

But I agree that dismissing them as 'old gits' is beyond rude and thank you for those lovely pictures from somebody.

Slutbucket · 16/05/2015 08:58

Do you know you need to see this as a positive in such an ageist society . There are a lot if lonely people out there. You could volunteer to be a befriender or find a job supporting elderly people.

Slutbucket · 16/05/2015 09:07

mrmom.amaonline.com/stories/CrabbitOldWoman.htm

SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 16/05/2015 09:11

My grandma and grandad (outs self), how cool?! I love chatting to them about their youth, although only ever call them old in jest, I'd still get a clip around the ESR if they thought I meant it!

To be so fascinated by old people
SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 16/05/2015 09:12

Ear, clip around the ear!!

CamelHump · 16/05/2015 09:16

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carabos · 16/05/2015 09:35

What you have to remember is that inside every old person is a 19 yr old screaming "whoa, wtf happened?". Puts a whole new perspective on things. We are who we are, its just our bodies that change.

Hakluyt · 16/05/2015 09:44

"People in their eighties and nineties are old. It's a fact. And they are amazingly interesting to speak with because they have lived a long time and have a huge wealth of experiences to share"

Well, some of them are. Some of them aren't. A bit like young people, really! I know 12 year olds who have a "wealth of experience" to share. And 80 year olds who have lived boring and mundane lives. But the point is, old people are not some sort of documentary for you to turn on and marvel at. Some of them might want to talk about their past lives. Some might want to talk about yours, or what's on the telly or the latest advances in quantum theory or Liverpool's chances for the Cup or the Booker short list or what Mrs X at Number 23's been up to.The point is they are not a separate species. And they are interesting to talk to or not because they are individuals- not because they are time capsules.

Silvercatowner · 16/05/2015 09:47

I found out an elderly man (in his 90s) had been on the Normandy beaches as part of the D day landings. He had never spoken of it. So many amazing stories that are being lost every day.

CamelHump · 16/05/2015 09:52

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenofknickers · 16/05/2015 09:56

Sounds like you'd enjoy some social history - maybe one of the books written about ordinary peoples lives during the war (Mass Observation). Nella Lasts diaries are good (housewife49)