Favouritism at school and star worker

[JollyPostman]

DS has been going to school for nearly a week now. He is 4. Recently he said rather sadly "I'll never be teacher's name's star worker." It turns out that other children (possibly the blonde, calm, well-behaved girls, who all seem to be reading already!) are singled out for a Star Worker certificate from the teacher for excellent work. Part of me feels like that's a great idea and shouldn't be abused and given to all the kids on a rotation basis, as that undermines the value of the cert. But the other part, the part with the son who has not been singled out, is upset for him. He is excellent at maths for his age, but never seems to get any recognition for it. He is a loveable but very fidgety child and I do wonder if that is why ... Anyway, should I mention to teacher, or leave it?

I did once ask my son's reception teacher if he was not behaving very well because he hadn't had the star of the week, or the class toy or something, after several months and she was very apologetic because he had been overlooked! He got it the following week

Dd's school seems to use them to reward any kid who has done well by own standards, so can often mean the sometimes naughty ones get it more.

I don't think it was fair to say blonde girls get better treatment thought unless perhaps Ukip are running the school...

They do it on rotation.

That said, dd1 was overlooked for 'Good to be green' (which I used to think was for being particular environmentally aware but is actually for good behaviour!) for 2.5 years. I was on the verge of mentioning it in a kind of "What can we do to work on dd's behaviour which you always tell me is exemplary so that she gets Good to be green?" when she came trotting out of school with it.

Sometimes they do get overlooked.

I probably wouldn't say anything, except at the parent - teacher interview maybe. My school aged DC didn't really care about the certificates that everyone got in rotation though. 2 of them are blonde girls who could read before they started school and I don't think they've received more awards for good behaviour because of these characteristics.

Given that it is the blond females who can read at age 4 are the sole reason he hasn't got star of the week, (well possibly) I would like to know what part of the world from which you hail for there to be so many of them.

Unless you mistakenly sent him to a girls school in Sweden?

Or could it be and this is a radial idea I know! But could it be just possible he a/ hasn't done anything of note yet or b/ it's just not been his turn yet, I do find it remarkable how many children get these awards at least once a year.

Save your anguish for his GSCE's

My 9 year old DD came home from school the other day with letter asking them to create something using recycled materials for a competition.

She said she didn't think it was worth taking part as one of the teacher's "popular" children would win anyway regardless.

I am aware these "popular" children get chosen for everything. I usually play it down though with my DD.

Whenever someone is chosen for something she will usually come home and ask me to guess who it was. It's always the same children.

There are enough weeks in the school year for each child to get chosen as star of the week. Teachers will have a record of who has already been chosen and will be doing their best to make sure they all get a turn. Don't panic.

I think we are up to week 26 or so, so time yet. I do make sure everyone gets it at least once, but we have to give real reasons so if they've not deserve it they won't get it, even if they're last on the list, so to speak. It also means that even if the teacher is a big old meanie who has favourites and hates everyone else , they will still have to find something nice to say at least once. :o

They all get them eventually. If not for 'great work' for something else. My son is in the same school year as yours and he was desperately shy and quiet until he befriended another boy that has some mild learning difficulties. he got a teachers award for 'being a good friend'. that's as good as a 'star worker' if not better in my eyes.

its an unfortunate fact of life children get overlooked my son is frequently overlooked because he is quiet (at school at home never!) it irritates me though when you see all the homework on display and the favorite pupils are there again and its clearly mummy and daddy's work (printed from google pasted onto huge sheets of card no childs handwriting or work in evidence one child even admitted "my dad spent ages doing my homework") and they send them to kumon (and insist they are naturally advanced children) they pay for swimming lessons so they can be better than there friends at it so everyone else pays for swimming lessons (except me and my son now wants them because he is only swimming at year one level he is in year one ffs)

it all changes in high school my daughter went from being middle/top ish of the class average worker happy pleasant child etc to A* student trainee prefect top of many classes overnight she has skyrocketed

roll on high school

Every child is a star at something at some point. When awarding star of the week, i always ensured it was a different child, so everyone got a turn, but it was always for a real reason. One may have done a fantastic piece of work that week. One may have made real Efforts to control their emotions. One may have worked hard and represented their school in something. One may have managed to remember a oen all week, despite their homelife being awful :(

do mention it though. Ive also known some male teachers award it to the same handful of lids because they dont keep a record or pay it muchthought.

I domt pay for my children to learn to seim do they are better than their friends. I pay for swimming lessons so they can swim and dont, you know, drown. What an odd thing to say.

I'm a teacher and have a star of the week system, honestly everyone will get it at some point. I can find something good in all the kids, in my class. I will often focus on a child to support them to be able to earn it. These are the children who may struggle with behaviour. Then I would highlight how well they are improving and how proud they must be of their behaviour.

I also give it to children who always behave, are kind and would highlight that when giving out the reward. I also have stickers, buzzers, puppet friends, different helpers . So star of the week is not a particular highlight.

I also help the children recognise what they have achieved themselves, and the way they feel about themselves their work, comes not from me but themselves.

This is the way I have gone with my own children, also pointing out to them that waiting for something is not the end of the world. We talk about our children to them and about them like they have no resilience and cannot handle any setback, this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is simply not true.

At DCs school every Friday one from each class is picked for tea and cake with the headteacher. It's usually the ones with the highest marks or biggest improvements.
My grandad actually tried to bribe dd1s teacher into picking her after she complained she hadn't been picked. I got £20 handed back to me by a very amused teacher the following morning.