Favouritism at school and star worker

[JollyPostman]

DS has been going to school for nearly a week now. He is 4. Recently he said rather sadly "I'll never be teacher's name's star worker." It turns out that other children (possibly the blonde, calm, well-behaved girls, who all seem to be reading already!) are singled out for a Star Worker certificate from the teacher for excellent work. Part of me feels like that's a great idea and shouldn't be abused and given to all the kids on a rotation basis, as that undermines the value of the cert. But the other part, the part with the son who has not been singled out, is upset for him. He is excellent at maths for his age, but never seems to get any recognition for it. He is a loveable but very fidgety child and I do wonder if that is why ... Anyway, should I mention to teacher, or leave it?

In all fairness, he has only been in the class for a week. I'm sure his turn will come.There are lots of other rewards in reception other than certificates and stickers, being allocated a job like milk monitor also carries a lot of kudos, speaking to the class during talk and share results in lots of praise, going on Captains Table at lunch. The list is endless and I know from my own experience, sometimes children only share the information with parents when they don't get something and fail to acknowledge the many things they have done. I agree it does not seem as inclusive when they reach later years, but reception, well at our school, includes all the children in their different schemes.

So out of a class of 35, you only know for definite of two kids that have received a star certificate and you're worried your child us being left out? Left out of what exactly?

I think my dds have 3 or 4star pupil certificates between them for all of primary school them not sure how it works i often thought it was because they were middle of the road children iyswim

monsters, the 'a week' was a typo. OP came back and said its been a year.

I found that the girls always did seem to get more of these rewards, I think they are more likely to conform than some boys.

My youngest son always got less of this sort of thing than my other children. He was big for his age, looked older than the rest of them in his year even though he was one of the youngest. At one parents evening I mentioned how well he responded to be told he was good, his sister needed a challenge but he really needed to feel the adult believed in him. I didn't moan about rewards or who got what, just mentioned it in a casual way. He got lots more recognition for his work and did really well, he wasn't doing badly anyway but it did give him a boost.

I actually hate this sort of thing and teachers do have favourites, some are just better at hiding it than others. They also have children they don't take to. A friend of mine is a teacher, she got pulled up one year for favouring a child and told everyone knew she was her favourite. She actually found the child really irritating and was trying to hide it. So you never know what the motivation might be.

I have the same issue. DS aged 4 has been in reception since September and has never been star of the day and thus been able to take the class teddy home. Only 23 kids in his class and a few of them have been star of the day numerous times. At first we encouraged him and told him to be good but he is now losing hope and saying the teacher never notices when he has been good......

Oh I missed that it was a year, thanks Marbles, it seems very harsh if he has not been included in anything, especially in reception.

It's a tough one, OP. Either only the really good techer's pets or the really naughty children are star workers. It's incredibly demotivating, especially if you're 4.
I've been there with ds and went in to have a word because he had worked very hard and never got any recognition.
They will realise themselves how meaningless these awards systems are in time. Until then everybody surely deserves to be the star worker for one week!

You could ask what the aim of the award is, and what exactly they are rewarding.

If seems to me that either you allocate the award honestly - to the "best" students - in which case it will probably be the same ones every time (at this age, girls and Autumn born kids will have a general advantage). Or it's more democratic and you give all the kids a turn.

Either way it seems entirely pointless to me. My kids survived 8 years of primary without a single award and honestly it never occurred to me to miss them. At secondary school they both get awards every term, basically just for being academically able, which is stupid.

Perfect training for real life.

I think Star of the Week is a rubbish award. It means nothing because (in most schools) everybody has a turn in the end. I dislike rewarding children who can't behave but have managed to pick up a pencil for me and I have to make that a' Star' factor. Some children do work harder and behave better-fact of life- and they should be rewarded. It is my job to encourage and find strategies to help those who do not fall immediately into the well behaved, hard working and clever categories.There is always something you can do to make them feel special. At the beginning of my teaching career many moons ago this Star of the week thing did not exist and I'm sure no one suffered for it! I find it actually unfair on the children (and parents) However sometimes children ( mostly boys!) complain that xxx is the favourite because she always gets to the important jobs. They have to have explained to them that if xxx is asked to take a note to the office that is what she will do. She won't take a 10 minute detour around the school.

My Ds is only 5 and already has the system sussed as he comes home and chats about who got 'star of the week' and it's 'because they managed not to hit anyone today'. He also seems quite genuinely pleased at their lack of aggression and not at all bothered about getting it

They also give out certificates at Ds school for healthy packed lunches?!? like the child who turns up with a sausage roll, mars bar and coke has any control over it, but hey ho - nothing like a fair reward system

If it bothers your child mention it, if it just bothers you I wouldn't.

You gotta love mothers! Where is the one who thinks there's a massive conspiracy because her child is getting all these awards when she's only a mediocre little blondie?

I wouldn't worry too much about it, in 3 years my Dd has had one star of the week and she was chosen by the janitor for a drawing of her teacher she had done. Her teacher commented on how excited she was to have received it and she was surprised when I told her that would be because it was her first one ever.
Dd is very well behaved, enthusiastic and helpful but as she does not need to be encouraged to behave she often gets missed out for things like this but gets chosen for taking important things to the office or answering the class phone. I am very proud of her and getting star of the week changes nothing but as she is a deferred child and the eldest in the class she has picked up on how unfairly the system works herself.
They used to get an end of term treat for good behaviour but they stopped it as according to Ds's teacher some of the children lost it early in the term and they had nothing to work towards so they didn't even try to behave.
Now they behave for golden time, which happened alongside the treat, so the majority of the children have lost out because it did not work for a few.

Loved dds - her teacher called her "my little right hand girl" very sweet! Scrupulously fair at our school. Mention it I be the will be picked next week

35 in a class? Where is this?

"possibly the blonde, calm, well-behaved girls, who all seem to be reading already"

My reception dd who reads and writes and is ahead of almost everyone in her year has only received a teachers star once this year, no hard feelings.

Your op is unintelligent and narrow minded and full of nasty gender stereotypes grrrrrrrr

You are quite possibly passing your limited mindset on to your poor DS. Don't expect and teacher awards anytime soon.

I don't give out certificates for behaving or 'trying hard'. I expect every student in the class to behave themselves and work hard. To get one in my class you have to go out of your way to do something to earn it. I roll my eyes a bit when I see some of the reasons teachers come up with to give it out "sitting nicely on the mat", "being nice". Every student should do that.

Mention it. I'm a teacher and a parent once told me how much her son wanted to be star of the week. I told her what type of thing I look for to award them, he did what I asked (year 6), I gave the certificate, everyone was happy.

teachers have their favourites, there is no doubt about that. It's human nature. However it is unprofessional to let it show.
It's only naturAl that parents get peeved when it's always the same child being chosen. In my experience the ones that live on the right side of the road. It used to piss me off, but if you say anything you're that parent or if you prefer a crank.
You see some teachers are only seem to like the kids who come from perfect families, but the fact is teachers do not know what these children have to go through before they get school.
They (children) can't always come from 2.4 families. Daddy is a bank manager. He has a flash car. Mummy does a few hours in an office did her own sanity. She has a little run around car.
Mummy grows her own veg and bakes from scratch.
The family goes on 3 foreign holidays a year.

Are they they only sort of children who can behave well, lighthouse?

Some children really excel in reception and at school in general.

For example, early reading, being organised and independent, always helping others, listening, tidying up, looking after other children, working hard, being polite, kind and inclusive...some children are just a dream! And have something about them.

The argument is wether they should be overlooked for this in favour of a turn taking system? Maybe your child is just coasting along as Mr average and doesn't stand out, that is life.

Think you lost me on the blonde girl comment actually

This blonde thing is really annoying .

My Dd has been in her nursery class for more than a year.
She always gets really good reports, good listener, always works hard, polite, etc but she had never won star of the day. She started to talk about it a lot and started saying I need to work harder because I never win anything. She would also say things like, this boy is always naughty but he was good for one day and got star of the day but my teacher says I always work hard.

I put off saying anything for ages because I didn't want to look pushy but in the end I did talk to the teacher about it and she was shocked Dd had never won one and agreed that she had been overlooked because her attention was on the more difficult children
In the end she thanked me for pointing it out and Dd got one the week after and said it was the best day ever!

My son's school does Star of the Week and I think it has worked well in Reception although I imagine they figure out at some stage that everyone will get Star of the Week during the year and it loses its value. I always ask my son who is the Star and why as it's a good opportunity to encourage positive behaviour in him too. I think it's a failure of the teacher if they allow some of the massive disparities described above - one child never having been the star when other children have multiple times. The teacher should keep a record. I don't have a problem with recognising children for behaviours other children find easy. It would be more unfair if only the well behaved kids ever had an opportunity for recognition.