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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Me vs nursery, AIBU?

60 replies

Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 12:14

AIBU to be a bit very annoyed about this?

DS is currently going to settling in sessions at nursery, I start back at work in June.
We originally signed up for 4 days but since then I've managed to find a new job that is less days so we will now only require 2 days at nursery.
They have a 30 days notice period which is fine, I'm happy to suck it up for the first month pay the higher amount and then go down to the lower 2 days p/w cost next month.

My partner calls the nursery to let them know, spoke to the owner, he was really rude to him, and has said he'll have to check his waiting lists (they don't have waiting lists, its first come first serve, he told me that when I signed up and I've just asked when I picked DS up and the receptionist confirmed there isn't one) and that he's not sure he'll be able to do it as he has "lots of people waiting for a 5 day sign up" and to email and he'll get back to us.

Now I'm annoyed as we gave him the notice as required, he's lying about a waiting list, hardly any of the other babies are full time so I don't see why it's such an issue for us to drop days and that DS has actually been attending sessions there and just started to be more comfortable, the nursery nurses are really nice and I do feel happy leaving him with them, it just seems he wants DS out on the off chance that another family call in and want more days than me. But can he do that??
The chances of me finding alternate childcare in time for me starting work are basically impossible if he does decide he can't accommodate it.
So AIBU? What do I do?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 12:15

(That turned into a bit of a rant, sorry!)

OP posts:
MakeItACider · 15/05/2015 12:17

If its a private nursery, I guess they can do what they want. Bit harsh on their part though.

I would take this as a sign of their inflexibility though, and have a really good look around to find someone/something else.

BarbarianMum · 15/05/2015 12:18

If he decides he can't accomodate it, there's nothing he can do provided he give you the agreed notice. But, if there are no waiting lists, he will accomodate it, won't he - it's just bluster?

In your situation I would start looking at alternatives, although the chnces are you won't need them.

Original poster
Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 12:19

We've been calling round this morning, we have a couple of appointments at other nurseries but none of them have openings until September so I'm not entirely sure what we'll do between now and then Confused

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 15/05/2015 12:20

Sorry, that was gibberish. Should read "If he decides he can't accomodate it, there's nothing you can do ..."

MakeItACider · 15/05/2015 12:20

Childminders?

newbieman1978 · 15/05/2015 12:20

I guess the owner is a bit annoyed that you went and signed up for 4 days and before even starting your child properly you change your mind and only want 2 days.

Did you not know you might have the chance to change work before hand?

They are running a business after all so they can choose to terminate with the correct notice.

Original poster
Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 12:21

@barbarian
I'm hoping he's blagging it. My OH thinks he said all that into scaring us into keeping the 4 days and not dropping to 2

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 15/05/2015 12:23

Call your current nursery and ask for a timely decision - either they can or they can't but you need to know. Look at Childminders and nurseries outside your usual catchment.

If the worst came to the worst you could carry on paying your current nursery for 4 days a week until a new place came up. Galling but maybe a short-term fix?

holidaysarenice · 15/05/2015 12:23

If he decides he can't accommodate you I would argue that you don't have to do the settling in period/notice as clearly he has a two day a week space.
Check your contract carefully, get all dealings in writing/email and get the information you got from reception in writing.

Ask fr details of the waiting lost.

Id also be tempted to get a friend to ring up enquiring about a two day a week place etc.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/05/2015 12:23

Even if you get the correct notice you will have an extra month to find somewhere - is it that hard?

You could always just leave him there 4 days and go to the gym/lunch/clean the house/visit friends/take up a new hobby Grin

Original poster
Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 12:23

No interview was out of the blue. Too good of an opportunity to pass up.

When I signed up for 4, I asked about dropping days and he said it would be ok so long as we took the notice period into account which he's obviously now changed his mind about

OP posts:
ItsTricky · 15/05/2015 12:24

From a business view point having a full time child is preferable to part timers possibly leaving unfillable gaps during the week, so from that point of view the nursery is NBU.

However, your ds is happy there and they would be cutting off their nose to spite their face if you take him elsewhere. For all they know you might need more days in the future and have more children in the future, so losing your business would be stupid.

Mamus · 15/05/2015 12:26

You sometimes wonder whether people running businesses forget that word of mouth is hugely important...

Look into childminders maybe?

redskybynight · 15/05/2015 12:34

I think most nurseries do something similar.
If he can accommodate 2 days then he will.
If he sees that turning you down means that he can accommodate a full time person, then he'll do this.

Can you specify your days? If you request the least popular days (Monday and Friday at my DC's old nursery) he might be more amenable.

gobbin · 15/05/2015 12:45

Talk about tail wagging the dog! Nursery is a service industry - to enable the OP to work the hours SHE chooses. If the nursery can't accommodate her request why doesn't the owner just say 'sorry, no can do, thanks for the notice/payment' so she can look for something else.

In her position a childminder would (and was) my choice too.

Original poster
Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 12:49

I think I'm annoyed because DS is already in and attending sessions and getting to know everybody there. I do understand from a business point of view that of course it's better for them that DS attends each day.
But at the same time if dropping days is going to be an issue, I'd rather he told me right at the beginning when I asked instead of telling me it would be fine when it actually isn't iyswim?

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 15/05/2015 12:54

Well, in that vein, he'd probably rather that you'd told him that you wanted 2 days not 4 at the outset. But things changed for you and now, it seems, for him. Which doesn't, of course, make it less stressful for you now.

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 12:55

I don't have experience with any other nursery than the one my daughter is at & I don't think YABU, the nursery my daughter goes to would be absolutely happy to drop/add days or hours so it's a shame your nursery sounds so rubbish. Can you pick up a childminder until then?

DontTurnAround · 15/05/2015 13:03

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. He's losing fifty per cent of the revenue your child was creating and therefore if he can get a family for all four days it makes good business sensefor him. Regardless of whether your child is there or not staff still are and they need to be paid. Doesn't mean you are wrong for taking new job/changing days just unfortunate that your child now becomes so part t they may not be a good choice for the nursery.

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 13:18

^ I can't find myself to agree.

I absolutely hate nurseries, unfortunately I have to put my daughter to nursery to be able to work but if I had the option not to
I wouldn't. The price they charge is nothing short of foul, their policies are ridiculous & I really fucking hate the cunts. I can't see them as businesses anymore but more like THEIVES.

Naty1 · 15/05/2015 13:18

Yanbu
They clearly have the space as dc is currently using it.
Its easy enough for the manager, for someone for the other days.
What he is saying sounds like blackmail, keep all your days or you cant have any.
I would hope legally he cant take your childs space and give it to another child. Although i guess that would depend on if changing hours is a variation of your contract or a while new one.
What have you signed?

AmberLav · 15/05/2015 13:23

My nursery is happy to have children in one day (though that cuses its own issues) and as long as you keep to the notice period, we can drop days as required. When I had mat leave with DC2, DC1 dropped one day until I went back to work when he upped again to 4 days, and that was all fine...

Check your terms and conditions, and also remind him of the conversation where he told you toyour face that dropping days was fine with the right notice...

Original poster
Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 13:27

@halo
Virtual high 5 to you! The prices are ridiculous. But they get away with it because they know most people need their service in order to work. And yes, tbh it does feel a bit like blackmail.

The contract I signed was for 4 days BUT this could be changed if we give 30 days notice. Which we did but he's being difficult about it.
They're part of a franchise chain, my OH is all set for an argument with the head office if he does say no Confused

OP posts:
breadstixandhommus · 15/05/2015 13:29

Am I missing something here? The manager isn't sure he can accommodate you dropping 2 days? Surely you dropping days is easier than increasing by 2 days? When I wanted to increase from 2 to 3 days I had to wait a month for a child to leave or move up, when I was winding ds time down due to moving I was able to drop the day with immediate effect as there was another child waiting for that day.

He sounds a bit of a tool tbh and halo you sound like a big ball of anger

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