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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Me vs nursery, AIBU?

60 replies

Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 12:14

AIBU to be a bit very annoyed about this?

DS is currently going to settling in sessions at nursery, I start back at work in June.
We originally signed up for 4 days but since then I've managed to find a new job that is less days so we will now only require 2 days at nursery.
They have a 30 days notice period which is fine, I'm happy to suck it up for the first month pay the higher amount and then go down to the lower 2 days p/w cost next month.

My partner calls the nursery to let them know, spoke to the owner, he was really rude to him, and has said he'll have to check his waiting lists (they don't have waiting lists, its first come first serve, he told me that when I signed up and I've just asked when I picked DS up and the receptionist confirmed there isn't one) and that he's not sure he'll be able to do it as he has "lots of people waiting for a 5 day sign up" and to email and he'll get back to us.

Now I'm annoyed as we gave him the notice as required, he's lying about a waiting list, hardly any of the other babies are full time so I don't see why it's such an issue for us to drop days and that DS has actually been attending sessions there and just started to be more comfortable, the nursery nurses are really nice and I do feel happy leaving him with them, it just seems he wants DS out on the off chance that another family call in and want more days than me. But can he do that??
The chances of me finding alternate childcare in time for me starting work are basically impossible if he does decide he can't accommodate it.
So AIBU? What do I do?!

OP posts:

Original poster

Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 13:33

Well the manager has just left my OH a voicemail advising that they can accommodate the changes and he'll email over the amended contract.

Why he couldn't just say yes in the first place and save all this polava I don't know. Small victory for me!

OP posts:

insancerre · 15/05/2015 13:38

I think what the manager is saying is that he is really miffed that you only want 2 days when you signed up for 4
Which I understand as filling the nursery is his job
He is trying to make you sweat by saying he might give your 2 days to somebody else on the waiting list, which doesn't exist.
He is forgetting that filling 2 days is better than having an empty nursery
He doesn't sound very pleasant

CombineBananaFister · 15/05/2015 13:40

If the contract says 30 days notice and you gave 30 days notice then I don't see what the problem is? you've followed the rules.

I would be less inclined to kick up a fuss though and just ask him for a definite decision in a set timeframe so you can plan accordingly. Afterall these people will be looking after your child and he has already shown himself not above being petty and awkward - best not to get his back up completely if you don't want more of the same, as crap as that sounds.

Or find somewhere else

DontTurnAround · 15/05/2015 13:41

halo thats a bit extremt I don't think I'd be willing to leave my children with people I considered 'fucking cunts' at the end of the day they are a businesss that provides a service. A service many people need, it's all about supply and demand.

Anyway OP glas they've been able to meet your needs in the end.

Purplepoodle · 15/05/2015 13:50

The owner of nursery I use is a bit or a twit. Luckily I deal with his manager who is lovely but sometime he chucks his oar in. Manager just rolls her eyea

Nolim · 15/05/2015 13:56

Glad that it worked out op.

I think that the contract at my nursery says that increasing days is subject to availability but does not say that about droping dates.

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 15:30

DontTurn, the people who work there aren't fucking cunts, they're actually a really nice bunch of people who sadly do not get paid enough - begs the question where £400 of my hard earned cash goes for 4 pissing days a week?!

If my daughter gets sick for a week, I get charged the usual £98 or something, but I get zero pay from work... If you're not utterly sickened by that then you've either got more money than you need or you own a nursery. You pay nursery to look after your children so why do we still get charged when they are not there? Complete codswallop.

Nurseries can go & fuck themselves up their arseholes.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 15/05/2015 15:37

The fact that people don't think quality childcare is worth a lot of money is part of the reason why quality childcare is so hard to get.

MillionToOneChances · 15/05/2015 15:40

If you're only getting charged £25 a day that's an absolute bargain. If your child is off sick, should they reduce her key-worker's pay?

BeanCalledPickle · 15/05/2015 15:44

I have to pay my mortgage if I chose to leave the country for a month. If I still want the house that is. Same with nursery ; you are paying for the place which is then yours to use as you see fit. If your daughter is unable to use the place then that's not the nurseries fault. It's still there waiting for her.

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 15:46

The nursery I put her to is a small nursery, she is in the babies room & the care there is fantastic, and it's the cheapest in my area but I still grudge paying it. Quality childcare isn't hard to come by because people grudge the cost, it's hard to come by because who the hell wants to work for £4.80 an hour looking after someone else's brats all day?

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 15:47

I don't care how many of you try and preach that nurseries are great and they're just business etc, working for £580 and paying £400 a month will never sit right with me!

So I will take my anger, and I'll keep it.

muminhants · 15/05/2015 15:49

DontTurn, the people who work there aren't , they're actually a really nice bunch of people who sadly do not get paid enough - begs the question where £400 of my hard earned cash goes for 4 days a week?! *

This. The staff earn the minimum wage, not even the living wage - where does the money go? Someone obviously makes an awful lot of money out of childcare.

In this case I think the nursery is being somewhat unreasonable, if you'd come to them and asked for 2 days they presumably would have accommodated you so it's a bit silly to say no now. Especially as so many mums work 3 days a week so it can't be that hard to find a child for the other 3. All that said though, in your shoes, I'd pay for 3 days. It gives you a day for you. So if you need to get your hair cut or do some shopping etc, dc can go to nursery and you can get on with things. When I worked 4 days a week I paid for a full-time place (which actually wasn't that much more than paying for 4 days a week anyway). It also gave me flexibility to move my work days around either for my own benefit or so that I could attend meetings or go to seminars/courses that fell on my non-working day.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 15/05/2015 15:49

He is not unreasonable to be disappointed - he may have turned down someone else who was looking for more days on the basis that he couldn't accommodate them as he had your booking. However he is unreasonable to be taking out that disappointment on you and making you feel uncertain of your place.

It's not what he said so much as the way he said it I'm guessing.

Nolim · 15/05/2015 16:00

HaloKelly23
I agree that it is frustrating that most of your wages go to childcare, but it is not clear to me who is the target of your frustration.

MillionToOneChances · 15/05/2015 16:18

I don't think the nurseries make a huge amount off childcare, especially if you're only paying £25 a day (not clear how many hours?) for a baby with a ratio of 1 staff:3 babies. Minimum wage is £6.50 if you're over 21, then the nursery has to pay employers NI, rent, rates, admin and chef wages and NI, tax etc etc. Owners, unless they're a charity, also need to make a bit of income for themselves...

ApocalypseThen · 15/05/2015 16:24

Also, there's insurance, inspections and the upkeep of property. While it feels like a king's ransom to pay, it's very hard for nurseries to make an income.

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 18:05

£25 a day for 5 hours of childcare. Think about the amount of babies & children in that nursery?! The nursery must make an extortionate amount. You say £6.50 is the minimum wage but how can it be that someone I know personally is over 16 and getting £4.80 or £5.90 I don't quite remember? School leavers get paid pittance and the qualified ones are making what £7.00 an hour? At least someone I know is making that.

The nursery I am talking about in particular is a converted house, owned, so I don't believe the rent is that much.

Plus, the owners live in Spain & are very rarely around. Can't be doing too bad for themselves if they're living a life of luxury abroad.

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 18:06

OH, and to add to this - nappies/wipes and food isn't included. I have to provide 3/4 nappies a day for her, a pack of wipes lasts a week and I also have to prove her lunch.

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 18:07

Provide*

rookiemere · 15/05/2015 18:19

YANBU to be a bit disappointed, but I can see the nurseries pov too - you're reducing your days by 50%, he probably thought you would drop to 3 days if at all.

I'm not sure why this has turned into a debate about the cost of nurseries, but aren't the ratio of DCs to nursery worker quite low, certainly for under 1s, so I'm not sure that nurseries are raking it in.
£25 a day seems cheap to me, I paid £4 an hour for a fabulous childminder about 8 years ago now.
Bottom line is if you aren't happy with the care your DC are getting you can always move them.

Original poster

Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 18:26

I pay £57 a day and the ratio is 3 babies to 1 staff member
£25 a day is a bargain!

OP posts:

HaloKelly23 · 15/05/2015 18:43

You're right £25 is pretty cheap, but if it were any more there would be no point in me working.
£57 a day is unbelievable, I can't believe that, you must have a pretty good job to be able to afford that?!

Original poster

Ilovenannyplum · 15/05/2015 18:45

No, I'm left with peanuts. My DP has a better paid job than me so this helps

OP posts:

poocatcherchampion · 15/05/2015 18:54

Unbelievable @halo - you have to provide nappies for your own offspring.

Why the hell should you?

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