AIBU to hope this sad story gives charities that emply cold callers pause for thought.

[MythicalKings]

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/may/14/bristol-pensioner-body-avon-gorge-olive-cooke

Over 200 begging letters in a month from charities and frequent cold callers asking for money.

It's horrific. I know how persuasive they can be, there ought to be a way to opt out of receiving charity calls and letters.

Heard about this yesterday - it is appalling and should be referred to the charities commission. There was a commentator on the radio a few days ago, not in respect to Olive Grove's tragic story, talking about one of the big charities who have 5 or six senior execs, all on £150k..ish a year, and asking how many people's £2 per month donation would it take to pay these salaries before any money actually gets to the people/animals the charity is supposed to be helping.

I think charities use some pretty mean methods. But, aren't mean methods the order of these days? Saints are pretty thin on the ground around where I'm standing.

I saw this story in an unpopular online newspaper this morning. There is a picture of Olive Cooke surrounded by all this direct mail taken last year. It is a shame her friends/family couldn't help her to put a stop to it before she felt driven to such tragic action! Rip poor lady.

I hate cold calling/chugging as much as the next person. Tell them you're drunk - apparently, they aren't allowed to recruit people if they're pissed.

But not all big charities are bullies. Médecins Sans Frontières are fab (IME, anyway). I get an annual newsletter and that's it. I might get a special circular at a time of extreme crisis e.g. Ebola. Not received anything for Nepal (as yet) so even those circulars are few and far between. No texts, no calls.

I did race for life a few years ago. A few months after I was involved in an accident an wrote of my car. The next morning Cancer Research rang and started the hard sell on me to sign up to a DD. I explained it was not a convenient time to call as I had been in a car accident last night. The sales person just kept on and on and on about how I could sign up to a DD then cancel it later if wanted. I explained that I was in a lot of pain from the car accident and put the phone down!

I have never done race for life since!

Another thread popped up claiming this lady committed suicide. I don't see any suggestion of that - can anyone clarify?

It was MSF that I was referring to earlier, actually.

Olive's sad story has touched a nerve with so many people whose elderly relatives are experiencing this.

The question about have you lost someone to cancer was put to me by an acquaintance who was organising a big local event for research funds. In my case the answer was an honest put-on-the-spot no. But it was a very uncomfortable exchange even then because I felt guilty for that. I was always going to support the cause but I was struck by what an unhelpful intrusive "technique" this is. All so manipulative and counterproductive.

It was MSF that I was referring to earlier, actually
Good to see others have a similarly pleasant experience with them!

Maid her body was found at the bottom of a cliff. Police say no suspicious circumstances.

But no positive suggestion of suicide? I agree it's the implication, but the reported story is a little contrived if she fell/had a medical crisis/etc. Not that it isn't an issue worth highlighting though.

I hate charity cold callers but I have been suicidal and have lost family to suicide and there is never one thing that drives you to it. I read the article and it says she had health problems, depression and had had money stolen, these things were troubling her in addition to the cold calls

From my own experience I would say it's a 'perfect storm' of many factors that can lead you to take your own life. So sad for her and her family.

Poor Olive, it is tragic.

I hope it changes, yesterday just before I fetched my DS from nursery I did the ironing and I was shocked at the ads on daytime TV all guilt-inducing ads for charities, loan sharks. I never watch but it was so depressing.

Poor Olive, it is tragic.

I hope it changes, yesterday just before I fetched my DS from nursery I did the ironing and I was shocked at the ads on daytime TV all guilt-inducing ads for charities, loan sharks. I never watch but it was so depressing.

fearandloathing You've articulated my thoughts far better than I.

The story is written from the POV that incessant charity begging drove her to suicide. I'm surprised at the Guardian, tbh.

I made the mistake a few years back of agreeing to set up a direct debit with a woman who called on behalf of Save the Children (I know, I know, but I'd just had DD, was really struggling and feeling emotional...). Very soon after that I was plagued with multiple phone calls from the same fundraising company to give to other charities. Requests to be taken off their contact list didn't work. The same request up the chain to whoever was the caller's supervisor at the time of the call didn't work. I accused them of harrassing me; didn't work. I'd patiently, and not so patiently explain, that the event that appeared to have triggered these deluge of unwanted calls was setting up the direct debit to Save the Children. I told them that if calls didn't stop, I would be cancelling that direct debit, so their company would be responsible for a charity losing out. The person I spoke to at that time did appear to take it seriously. However, the calls didn't stop, so I told the next caller that I was cancelling the direct debit. They tried to persuade me not to, but I explained that in my opinion this is the only way they would learn, as polite requests not be to harrassed didn't make any difference. After I had cancelled the direct debit, I called Save the Children and spoke to someone in fundraising. I told them what I had done and why. Said that agreeing to donate to them in the first place had turned out to be a huge mistake on my part. Told them that these fundraising tactics are unethical and aggressive.

The calls continued for a while and I actually took some pleasure in telling the caller my saga with Save the Children. I rarely get calls these days, but if I do I say that I disapprove on point of principle of this way of fundraising and so on point of principle I refuse to donate in this way.

I'm quite robust and generally given to stroppiness so this is all just an inconvenience and irritation to me. I dread to think what the experience would be like if I was vulnerable and easily persuaded. Horrifying.

It really feels that as far as charities are concerned, the end justifies any means.

Has anyone thought of going to the Information Commissioner on these issues? I know that they may have acquired the information about phone numbers etc etc legally but there is also provision in Data Protection legislation about the reason for holding such information. I would have thought that this is an area where the IC might well want to get involved - it would certainly be a massive shot across their bows.

I had issues with Shelter ringing me persistently to increase my donation. I told them bluntly that if I received another call I would immediately cancel my direct debit. It did work but its shouldn't have come to that.

PS - I can't do it myself because I have no personal evidence of problems.

Local radio and tv are suggesting it's suicide. I was school running so not paying very close attention, but there was definitely something along the lines that she had lost her faith in humanity. So sad.

I'd like to put in a positive word for the NSPCC. I used to have a direct debit. Right after setting it up I immediately emailed supporter care opting out of all marketing (cold calls etc). They emailed back saying no problem, and never ever called or sent me anything. When I cancelled said direct debit as I was having financial worries, they didn't contact me about it. I have now restarted it and again have asked not to be contacted and they have honoured this.

I am horrified by some of the stories on here. How do these people sleep at night?!

Agree MaidofStars poor reporting from the Guardian. Dread to think how the Daily Mail have covered it.

Onedayinthesun - that is absolutely dreadful and I am so sorry that happened to you. How awful when it is all so very raw for you. I have supported Cancer Research in the past but not currently.

I know that one of the cancer charity TV adverts, possibly Cancer Research, really upset me when I was in the first couple of years grieving for my mum: close-up of a bride in her dress on her wedding day, speaking to camera, crying because her mum wasnt there with her on her Big Day. I was in my mid-20s, unmarried, no children....and my mum would never share any of that with me.

I went rigid, then started to shake and cry. In the goddamn fucking cinema. Still get angry about it years later. That advert crossed a line in my head and I havent supported them in an ongoing way since.

Its not just the charities but the competitions as well. My grandfather had Alzheimer's and everytime he got one, he was convinced he'd won the money. I got hold of the companies rang them up and let absolute rip at them, they still sent them. We had to hide them in the end it was just too distressing.

I remember just after i was made redundant i had the NSPCC on the phone 'let me tell you a story about lucy' 'for £20 a month we can help...' in the end he got down to £3 a month and i went ballistic saying I've lost my job i can't afford to feed my child, i give what i can when i can. I can't imagine an old person being able to be as forthright as i needed to be to get them off the bloody phone! Id be really interested to see how much these calls cost charities

The law on marketing is simple - you tell them to stop and they must stop. It must also be easy to say No in the first place. If they get that wrong and you have a record showing you told them to stop, complain to the Information Commissioner. I think they want you to have a go sorting it yourself first.
If you have an elderly relative plagued with this insensitive crap, they might need your help to get all the No letters or emails sorted. These are big UK organisations and they have to follow the law.