To think I should be able to get one date!

[Jasmineskye]

I don't have two heads, I do have all my own teeth, I'm not Kate Moss but I'm not quite White Dee either.

Where am I going wrong?? I have tried every dating site going and I must be approaching this online thing incorrectly.

Are there any 'rules' I'm missing? :)

OP - I've tried myself - but maybe if OLD isn't for you then try various clubs etc where you could meet someone.

My friend was asked out by someone in her gym (not her type) but there are also (I did have details but seems gone now) about social clubs for sporty types (eg where they have bars etc).

I was performing as part of a flash mob for a choir for a circus performance the other week and 3 single looking men about your age were sitting on the grass next to me - if you don't get chatting to them you won't know if they're single/interested etc.

Trust me I also freeze though if a man asks me out in a pub/bar/street etc... just because...

If you read the dating thread you'll currently see I also have the hots for a younger than me (34 to my 43!) surveyor who works in my building! But he's single I'm just shy...

It is very odd op. While I never found last love from online dating, I never had any problem finding dates/getting loads of messages. I'm no supermodel, I've been both fat and thin, I'm a single mum, used to have a modest job. I'm also a bit of an acquired taste physically, I have lots of tattoos and used to have lots of facial piercings. I have quite specific interests and music taste. And yet I always got lots of messages from men of all ages and walks of life. Only ever used free sites. Can't think what you're doing wrong tbh. I am also older than you.

Forgot to add why don't you experiment? try a light hearted profile, deep profile, very brief profile, long profile. Change what you write and how it's written. Rotate pics. Have a good close up facial shot and a full body shot. Do you have any male friends or colleagues you could ask for advice from about which pics to use or what to write?it's all very Well us giving advice but we're all women and not the ones you're looking to date!

Look, it's probably nothing you're doing wrong. Honestly.

I was on dating sites for YEARS, on and off (I have posted about this many times as have been on MN for about as long as I was single!) and although I got lots of interest, never got past first date, or two, and certainly never to a relationship. Lots of people told me what I was doing wrong, but despite trying all their suggestions, in the end what worked was just being myself. And meeting someone who was right for me.

The only thing I did slightly differently was message him first. I had done that before a number of times with others but never got a reply, so it wasn't something I always did. And I'd done it before and it hadn't worked. Just this time it did.

My bf, fwiw, barely got any replies, and no dates. He is bloody gorgeous (not just me, all my friends think so too!) but also lovely, funny, kind, intelligent...he didn't have the best photo on his profile (it made him look nice rather than hot, iyswim) but still loads better than other guys I'd dated...and who I know had been on dates with lots of other women. My bfs profile was one of the best I'd read too...so sometimes it really makes no sense!

If you don't yet have children, I'd say ditch dating sites. If you have a couple of free evenings a week, join a sports club. Or if you're not sporty try MeetUp if they have events in your area. Or a local community group...or church group if you're in any way religious.

OP, I like you, would not describe myself as a Kate Moss stunner, however have had lots of interest when setting up an ODP. I think a lot of it has to do with how fun and approachable you look and sound; people read into your facial expression and body language when deciding whether to get in touch or not. There is a great talk on TED actually called something like 'How I hacked online dating'. Very funny and informative! If you feel like you might want a second pair of eyes on your profile feel free to PM a screenshot. It sounds like there may be something 'hiding in plain sight' as others have said!