To be over the moon with the way mediaton went?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

I particularly enjoyed these bits

Ex: I have no problems. I don't even know why this is happening. When they said that someone was gonna be coming round I thought it was gonna be someone who'd help her with the house and that and explain that it's not good for kids to be living like this. It's making them smell.

Mediator: So what do you think you can do about the children smelling?

Ex:

Mediator: Do you think if they came to your house you could wash their clothes and shower them?

Ex: Well, yeah and I do, but that's not the point is it? When they're with her they smell and they'll get bullied

Mediator: Okay, but social services have already investigated at your behest and they were happy with the way the children are cared for. Do you think the smell might be your issue?

Ex:

Mediator: So showering them and washing their clothes would be a way of dealing with that?

and

Ex: She lets them go to school all scruffy with grey shirts and holey socks and dd2 is always covered in mud and I dunno what else.

Mediator: So if you are not happy with your children's uniform what can you do about it? They are your children aren't they?

Ex: Well yeah but...

Mediator: Could you buy them new uniform if you think they need it?

Ex:

He sat with a face like a slapped arse throughout the whole thing. I doubt it's gonna help with his attitude, he still insists he is right and me and the mediator are wrong but boy did I enjoy watching it

Great posts from Icimoi. The point is, that some people are not understanding the dynamics of an abusive relationship - that it can take many attempts to physically away, and even more attempts to get the abuser out of your head.

That the DD has OCD and the OP is accused of the children/house smelling, not because they objectively do, but because the ex has issues and irrational thoughts (as Icimoi said) that they do and perhaps some of these has been passed on to DD.

And that the OP was delighted with how the mediation/family support went not to put ex back in his place, but because a third party was giving gentle validation that perhaps his issues are his issues, and if he is so concerned about it why doesn't he DO something, rather than punish the OP about it.

And that it is not that there is endless point-scoring by the OP, but that the ex keeps bringing up these issues and complaints as a way of maintaining the control he has lost. In fairness to the OP, by engaging with family support she seems to be making attempts, not to get one over, but to deal with the ex in a way that is healthier for her and her children.