DH lives a pretty charmed life. He works hard, and earns good money doing something he finds pretty easy. However, it often means he's working on projects for several clients at a time and he's often sat on the sofa rather than the purpose built office he insisted on building from 9am till midnight working on his laptop ( to the exclusion of everything and everyone else).
On top of this he has a pretty healthy social life and is out one night a week with one hobby (hobby 1), 2 other evenings a month (minimum) on another (hobby 2), at least 2 weekend days a month on another hobby (6am - 4pm-ish: hobby 3) and regular half day trips out with his biker mates. He also has a weekend away around every other month, and is booked for a week abroad next month for hobby 3. He is used to being able to arrange what he likes without consultation knowing that I'll be around for DD.
Even during periods of normal working hours he's pretty lazy around the house. I'm not a neat freak, but it falls to me to do everything, including car and home maintenance etc. I may have a couple of evenings out a year to see a show or band. I haven't been away for a break on my own. I've been studying for a degree for the past 8 months which is something I want to do for me and I find him pretty unsupportive. (I have an online tutorial for 1 hour per week, and he sulks because he could be out doing something related to hobby 3.)
We have a 4.5 year old DD, who has a sleepover at my parents' house about once a month.
DH's family have shown repeatedly that they couldn't give a shiny shit about DD. Visits to them (250 miles away) have dwindled now that DD is at school full time. Their idea of childcare and mine are poles apart.
Think that's all the background.
I arranged a long weekend away to enable me to relax do some uninterrupted revision before my exam. It's the same weekend as an activity he has planned with his brother around 150 miles from home. Plan was for DD to have a sleepover with my parents and as he'd just be away for one night that would be okay.
A relative of mine needs emergency surgery a long way from where they live. They are my nan's carer, so while they're gone my parents will need to go and look after her (200 miles away). It's possible (but by no means guaranteed) that they'll be away the weekend that we've both planned to be away. So I suggested to DH that he warn his brother that he may have to pull out, and perhaps he could see whether a mate of his could go instead. DH heard that and instead had concocted a plan whereby he drives 250 miles with DD to his parents' house, stays overnight, then drives 150 miles with his brother to the activity, they stay over (as planned), leaving DD for around 36 hours with PIL (who she's never stayed with on her own for an hour, never mind overnight) before driving back up to collect her and then drive back home that night. I've suggested that's not fair on DD and I'm not that thrilled about the extra £200 worth of fuel he'll burn. He says it's none of my business because I'm "fucking off elsewhere".
So, who is BU?