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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just how UR and pfb am I being here?

75 replies

Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:09

Really would like impartial views.

DS has been having practice days in the toddler room at nursery.

On two separate occasions, both on the toddler days, I've picked him up and he's had an obviously pooey nappy.

Not the end of the world, mentioned it and they changed him. Fine.

Today I dropped him off at 8.15, he did a poo in the car. I told staff when I took him in.
Collected him, you get a sheet listing nappy change times. It sAid he was changed at 9.30 - so he was in a dirty nappy, that they knew about, for over an hour.

I mentioned that I would expect poo to be changed as soon as they can and raised the earlier instances.

Because of this she checked his nappy... Which was pooey

He has really sensitive eczema skin and gets really bad nappy rash so it is fairly important that they change him asap for poo,

So... Is this ok? Am I horribly PFB?

OP posts:
wheresthelight · 13/05/2015 20:11

yanbu that ones done at nursery should be changed as soon as possible but I am afraid Yabvu to have not bothered to change him before dropping him off

Totality22 · 13/05/2015 20:13

Why didn't you change him?

GloGirl · 13/05/2015 20:14

Yanbu I'm a fairly lax parent but that seems like a lot of being left in pooey nappies. Sad

PurpleSwift · 13/05/2015 20:14

It does seem to be a recurring issue but is there any chance they did change it at the time but only got round to writing it down later?

Original poster
Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:17

He pooed in the car on the way. Tbh it wouldn't occur to me to attempt to change a wriggling toddler in the back of the car when I'm running late for work and he's desperate to see his friends and eat his second breakfast?

OP posts:
nickersinaknot · 13/05/2015 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsTricky · 13/05/2015 20:19

If he did a poo in the car on the way to nursery you should have changed him yourself before handing him over, unless in a huge rush but it only takes 2 minutes.

I do agree an hour in a dirty nappy is unacceptable though.

Original poster
Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:25

I'm always in a rush! Ha.

Would you really change your child in the back of the car when you are right outside nursery? It's on a busy main road...

Nursery don't like you changing, have offered before and they said they would do it. Nappy change is in the main room amongst all the other children.

OP posts:
BeeInYourBonnet · 13/05/2015 20:30

When my DCs were in nursery, we were always expected to change our own DC (albeit using the nursery facilities) if they arrived with a soiled nappy.

I remember this clearly six years down the line as I was always in a rush, and my DS seemed to have his bowel movements attuned to the most inconvenient times!

anyoldnameforathread · 13/05/2015 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeachyPants · 13/05/2015 20:31

Not UR or PFB at all, that's poor from the nursery, I'd complain too.

Original poster
Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:33

Any old, not a new nursery. Just trialling the new room.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/05/2015 20:34

YANBU. My baby's nursery change every two hours plus whenever they smell a poo. An hour in a dirty nappy is neglectful.

DearGirl · 13/05/2015 20:35

As an ex nursery nurse we used to have "set times" to change nappies ie between 9-9.30ish then after lunch then after naps - these would be written on the clipboard and whoever wrote the diaries would just copy down the info.

Many a morning we would change dirty nappies when children first came in or during breakfast time; however as this was often the busiest time of the day they wouldn't get written down,

LimeFizz · 13/05/2015 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:40

limefizz really?!

He'd literally just done it, in the car. I have to get to work, he's desperate to get in, the choice between changing him haphazardly in the back of the car in the cold or taking him in to nursery and letting them know... It seems to me that it wa be absolutely crazy to change him in the car!

OP posts:
gooeycookie · 13/05/2015 20:41

I would like to think he was changed straight away, but because it was a busy time (breakfast, children arriving etc) it wasn't logged on the sheet.
Having worked in nurseries where this happened every now & again, I've definitely been guilty of not writing down info straightaway if I'm busy.
You're not being PFB if it was left an hour though!

DixieNormas · 13/05/2015 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

todayisayesterdaystomorrow · 13/05/2015 20:42

Yabvu to leave/hand over your dc in a dirty nappy especially when you know he has sensitive skin. You could have asked, "where can change a nappy please?" Chances are, staff would have offered to do it, but you were bu to mention it and leave.

Jengnr · 13/05/2015 20:45

I would have told nursery, offered to change it there and expected them to do it quickly if they said it was ok.

An hour is unreasonable no matter who has him.

Original poster
Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:46

gooey - would you expect a parent whose child had pooed en route to nursery to come in and change them or change them in the car or is it ok to inform nursery staff that you suspected that they had pooed??

The suggestion that I have been vv unreasonable not to change him at the side of the road has really thrown me!

OP posts:
gooeycookie · 13/05/2015 20:50

Absolutely not, Fairy.
I always understood that parents needed to get to work on time, these things happen!
To be fair, it was pooey nappy number 1 of many in my typical day Wink

Eltonjohnsflorist · 13/05/2015 20:50

I have to say id expect to deliver him clean. It seems a bit cheeky to hand him over with outstanding "care" to be done, of you know what I mean.

Id expect them to be reasonably inflexible in their routine at busy times.

Original poster
Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:51

Also, I'm sure I will get flamed to beggary for this but after dropping him at nursery I have to drive another hour after the 30 min journey to nursery to get to work, because of the distance from home to work and the fact that nursery opens at 7.30 means I am cutting it very fine to get to work... No option to leave earlier as nursery (or other nurseries) don't open earlier.
If I had to hang around to change nappies I would then be late...

I pay them nearly £50 per day... I would kind of expect that my DS wouldn't have to be changed curb side and I wouldn't have to be late for work.

Obviously if he did a poo before we left I would change him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:52

Buggary! Bloody autocorrect!

OP posts:
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