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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Just how UR and pfb am I being here?

75 replies

Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:09

Really would like impartial views.

DS has been having practice days in the toddler room at nursery.

On two separate occasions, both on the toddler days, I've picked him up and he's had an obviously pooey nappy.

Not the end of the world, mentioned it and they changed him. Fine.

Today I dropped him off at 8.15, he did a poo in the car. I told staff when I took him in.
Collected him, you get a sheet listing nappy change times. It sAid he was changed at 9.30 - so he was in a dirty nappy, that they knew about, for over an hour.

I mentioned that I would expect poo to be changed as soon as they can and raised the earlier instances.

Because of this she checked his nappy... Which was pooey

He has really sensitive eczema skin and gets really bad nappy rash so it is fairly important that they change him asap for poo,

So... Is this ok? Am I horribly PFB?

OP posts:

wheresthelight · 13/05/2015 20:53

sorry but I still think Yabvu to have sent him in with a pooey nappy. you are whinging that they are handing him back like that so why would you hand him over in that state?

I have had to change my dd on the hard shoulder of the m25 as we were stuck in traffic and there wasn't a services for over 50 miles. it takes a couple of mins so you should have done it in the car or on your lap in reception of the nursery if you were not haply in the car

CheapSunglasses · 13/05/2015 20:53

Some people are very strange saying you should have changed the nappy yourself.

I pay my DD's nursery an eye watering amount each month and being able to hand over a poo situation to the staff when I'm in a rush to get to work is one of the perks!

Then again, my DD's nursery is fab and they would change a pooey nappy straight away.

YANBU to be worried they're leaving him too long. Is his eczema worse because of it?

SaucyJack · 13/05/2015 20:54

Today was your fault. Whoever smells it, deals with it in my book.

Him being dirty at home time is pretty crappy tho (boom boom)

JustHavinABreak · 13/05/2015 20:55

YANBU about him being left in a dirty nappy for that long, especially when he has such sensitive skin. I would bring your concerns to the attention of the manager, perhaps in the form of questioning if the nappy changing routines are any different from your DS's last room because you've been a bit concerned about the last few incidences.

And about the poo enroute to nursery...did you even offer to look after it yourself once you were indoors? Just trying to find out if you dropped and ran or if you were shoo-ed out the door.

Original poster

Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 20:59

It is a problem for them to hand him back like that because it suggests that he has been in it for some time without being changed.

Him pooing in the car means the earliest opportunity to change him is on arrival at nursery. Where they have nappy change stations. Include all nappies in price of fee (not sure if that's relevant). There is no reception area at the moment, we come in a side door straight into the toddler room where the children are playing/eating breakfast. The nappy stations are in the main rooms.

I honestly think it would be ludicrous to change my baby in the car.

OP posts:

bobajob · 13/05/2015 21:00

Of course it wasn't the OP's fault, how ridiculous! Even if she should have changed him when she got there it still doesn't mean the nursery were right not to change him for an hour.

However, I think it's likely he was changed immediately and then changed again and recorded at standard change time.

nickersinaknot · 13/05/2015 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doobeedee · 13/05/2015 21:01

OP if my DS poos I. The car on the way I too hand him over and inform them. There is no where for parents to change nappies at our nursery anyway and I'm positive it's not frowned upon. I can't believe how many people are saying you're being unreasonable for that!

Original poster

Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 21:01

just I didn't offer this time. I have offered before and was told no. They all glove up, apron up at nappy change time so I just assumed it was some kind of health and safety thing.

OP posts:

bobajob · 13/05/2015 21:02

I don't think it was a big issue to hand him over having done a poo, it wouldn't have bothered me.

chickenfuckingpox · 13/05/2015 21:02

so you have offered to change him before and they have said they would rather do it?

then you would expect them to do it this time to be honest yanbu

they need to straighten up there policy's either they allow parents to use there facilities or they dont and if they dont they need to do dirty nappies asap

Twistedheartache · 13/05/2015 21:03

I must be a v slummy mummy. I wouldn't even have changing stuff with me on the way to work!

Feminine · 13/05/2015 21:04

I would find it really difficult to hand over my baby with a poo in its nappy.

I know they are used to it though.

If you think that is what you are paying for however, you can't really be found unreasonable.

Original poster

Fairy13 · 13/05/2015 21:05

Twisted - me neither... Maybe I could scramble around for a nappy in the bottom of my handbag... Wasn't about to readily offer that nugget (pun intended) up to the vipers though - they are in fire tonight!

OP posts:

JustHavinABreak · 13/05/2015 21:06

I think you should certainly bring that to the manager's attention so. Again, it's less confrontational to ask a question about what their procedures/policies are if a child soils a nappy on the way to nursery. That way you can get the information you need without being seen as 'that' parent!! You seem perfectly reasonable to me though. It just sounds like things need to tighten up a little in the toddler room

Notso · 13/05/2015 21:09

When I worked in day nurseries children coming in with a dirty nappy was a common occurrence. Most would apologise and leave us to it, some would offer to change them, a few would act ignorant or had no sense of smell.

Over an hour in a dirty nappy isn't on though. Was he sore?

Whatabout · 13/05/2015 21:11

I don't carry changing stuff on the nursery run and nursery staff don't allow parents to use their facilities, they do it and it is the system.

Changing on the hard shoulder of the m25 is dangerous and would probably incur points in your license. A dirty nappy is not an emergency.

ItsTricky · 13/05/2015 21:11

I wasn't suggesting changing nappy in the car. I don't understand why you can't change him in the nursery. I would have thought they'd welcome a parent handing over a clean baby. Have words about his eczema. Sitting in a dirty nappy for more than 10 minutes or so is unacceptable.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 13/05/2015 21:11

I'm confused at this "you can't hand him over with a dirty nappy" posturing!

Where is OP supposed to change DS ?!

Any time I turned up with a child with a mucky nappy I would ask to use the facilities there to change them - sometimes one of the nursery assistants would do it for me, sometimes not (ditto at the very end of the day). We used four different nurseries - all of them had this approach

Whatabout · 13/05/2015 21:12

Oh and yes, raise the issue, my son has had it once recently in his new room at nursery and I mentioned it the next morning. YANBU.

liquidstatebacktowork · 13/05/2015 21:19

I pay 65 a day which is more than I earn. I also have an hours journey to get to work after drop off.

I still changed my DDs nappy when she did a poo on the car on the way to nursery. And it was everywhere and needed a full outfit change.

Mousybrown · 13/05/2015 21:20

There is no way I would have changed him in that situation, I would have handed him over and expected him to be changed no problem.
I'm sure they did change but for got to note it down.

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 13/05/2015 21:21

DD went through a phase of being particularly prone to in-the-car-en-route-to-nursery poos. DH always just hands her over (I don't do nursery drop offs) when she's done it and apologises for her timing, they don't seem to be bothered. She doesn't do it much any more thankfully!

Does your DS get nappy rash much at the moment? I would think that would be the trigger for a conversation with the nursery, rather than the timing of the changes. I always take the nursery diary with a pinch of salt, I'm sure it's not 100% accurate.

CheapSunglasses · 13/05/2015 21:22

*I pay 65 a day which is more than I earn. I also have an hours journey to get to work after drop off.

I still changed my DDs nappy when she did a poo on the car on the way to nursery. And it was everywhere and needed a full outfit change*

Did you have to though? Or would your £65/day nursery have done it if you'd asked?

It would be a pretty rubbish nursery that wasn't used to dealing with children arriving having done a poo on the way in. It must be an occupational hazard surely?

So many people willing to martyr themselves over a poo on this thread.

binspin · 13/05/2015 21:24

what did they say when you mentioned it?

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