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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mn jury. lovely proud mum post or bragbook

91 replies

devon004 · 12/05/2015 22:16

So it is Sats week for year 6. Facebook has bern full of I wish my dd or ds well in them etc etc. All fine. However, today I saw one post from a mum at ds's school which made me think.
It announced how proud she was of her clever boy who is taking all level 6 papers.
So is this type of post ok or ott in your opinion. I have liked it btw.
Thank you jury

OP posts:

muminhants · 13/05/2015 12:28

It's Facebook. The raison d'etre is to brag is it not?

"I have the perfect life, with lots of wonderful friends with whom I constantly have fantastic nights out at lovely restaurants and/or give wonderful dinner parties. They buy me wonderful birthday presents etc etc

I go to watch the London marathon and get a selfie with Paula Radcliffe.

My son is amazing and walked at 6 months, talked at 12 months, started school at 18 months and won a scholarship to Harvard at 2 years old. Oh and they've already got their grade 8 piano and win every football match too."

If people's bragging annoys you or makes you upset because your life is nowhere near as perfect as they make theirs out to be, either de-friend them or less obvious, unfollow them.

differentnameforthis · 13/05/2015 12:41

The only person who needs to know I'm proud of him whatever is my son and he does know because I tell him every day not a bunch of people on faceless social media.

My friends & family on facebook are not faceless, they are all very close to us, and being 12k miles away from them, I share on fb to show them how well they are doing.

My girls know I am proud of them, it doesn't hurt to have your friends & family know too!

Thymeout · 13/05/2015 12:52

I think the acid test is whether she would have announced this, face to face, to all the other Yr 6 mothers at the school gates.

In the past, that would have been considered very bad manners. Still is now?

OK if none of them are on her f/b, but, even then, it's tricky with family who have children the same sort of age.

Goldmandra · 13/05/2015 13:34

People who have bright children should just shut the fuck up.

People with really bright children rarely seem to boast about them. It's the ones who feel a bit insecure about their children's academic abilities who seem to have to shout when the evidence is going their way.

My DD is taking exams at the moment. I'm immenselyly proud of her, not because she's bright or taking hard exams, but because she has worked really hard for months and made sacrifices to ensure that she gets the results she needs.

I have a friend whose child is a PITA and pretty vile to everyone around him unless he's getting his own way. She's always posting about how wonderful, good looking, clever, etc he is but it's obvious to everyone why she feels the need to do it.

differentnameforthis · 13/05/2015 13:39

I think the acid test is whether she would have announced this, face to face, to all the other Yr 6 mothers at the school gates.

No it isn't...unless of course she has the whole of the yr6 pupil's parents on her fb!

IHeartKingThistle · 13/05/2015 13:45

I wonder if she knows the national pass rate for Level 6 reading is around 0%?

OhMittens · 13/05/2015 13:49

Most people don't like it because it's vicarious showing off.

It has elements of a narcissistic personality - the parent is using the child's success as a vehicle for head-pats for themselves, by putting such information on their public feed.

It's all about MEEEEEEE... look how clever my spawn is everybody!

Tequilashotsfor1 · 13/05/2015 13:51

ohmittens

OhMittens · 13/05/2015 13:51

different it very much depends on the person. People tend to know the difference between someone who is putting info for info's sake up on their page, and someone who is showing off, because a show-off is usually like that in real life too.

drycoughssuck · 13/05/2015 14:23

I don't need to tell (and I haven't told) other parents at school that DS is taking one of the L6 tests. The other parents come out & tell me that DS is taking it . I hate being centre of attention so it's kind of awkward. I'm not sure but I think other people perceive me as brainy. Which means I already tick a certain negative ("I intend to resent you") box in some people's minds. DD has a bit of this at school, too.

DD is targeting a particular very tough Uni course. If she gets in I will say something loudly on FB to congratulate her. DH will probably post the same thing in neon colours Just unfriend us now if you don't like.

catontherun · 13/05/2015 14:36

Pride comes before a fall ! (as my Gran says about boasting).

My children's school ran additional specific Level 6 Reading tuition sessions for some of the top group Y6 kids and their parents were, from talking to them, very proud that their child were sitting that Level 6 paper It was much discussed at the school gates and inevitably posted on one parent's facebook page. I am reliably informed that people were surprised to find that my eldest clearly wasn't as able as child A and child B who were sitting it and this was also much discussed as my dc had been perceived as "always top in everything".

I had actually declined the option to have the school put my dc in for Level 6 reading as I'd read up that less than 1% of kids nationally who sit that paper actually get a level 6. I thought that disappointment just on the cusp of transfer to secondary would not be helpful to my child in particular and doing the other Level 6 tests would be more than enough for an 11 year old in SATs week.

No-one got a level 6 in the Reading test at the school.

I would have thought that boasting after the results are out would be more advisable if you have to boast at all.

TheWordFactory · 13/05/2015 14:54

As a mother of twins I am allergic to public declarations of success.

Because one will always outperform the other.

Merguez · 16/05/2015 08:57

There's no right or wrong on Facebook. Each to his own and all that. If it bothers you what people post then just don't get involved.

derxa · 16/05/2015 10:13

I am so glad that Facebook hadn't been invented when my dc were young. It really is the work of the devil. An unending stream of drivel, boastfulness and viciousness.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 16/05/2015 11:00

It seems a lot of pressure for the poor lad.

Everyone will be asking if he got them!

dodgypinz · 16/05/2015 11:05

My youngest son is on the Spectrum and has had numerous challenges to overcome. I inevitably post re my pride in every achievement but most of all my pride in the fact he keeps on trying and remains a decent caring individual in the face of all his struggles.
Anyone who is sincerely proud of any aspect of their children's lives is welcome to post about it.
If you wonder why I didn't post about my other children online...They were grown up by the time "online" was commonly available. I still take every opportunity to embarrass them with my pride in them and their children on and off line.

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