To ask about this child - what would you think?

[Jasmineskye]

Has many lovely qualities.

However, these aspects to his character make parenting him a challenge.

He has NO sense of humour, unless someone has been hurt, not in a 'you've been framed' way but for example if another child has been in trouble. Silly films have him sitting glowering.

He is not physically affectionate, refuses to hold hands with his sister when crossing the street and never hugs her. Sometimes will sit on mothers knee.

Complains a lot and continues complaining until he gets his way. For instance if music in the car isn't what he wants to listen to he will loudly complain so no one can hear it anyway.

Obsessed with weapons. Likes martial arts. Really hurts his sister and family pet (cat) at times.

Inappropriate dress sense. Will not wear anything bought for him by somebody else, he had to choose it. Wears one item of clothing constantly.

Would you think he had special needs?

How old?

It's entirely possible but also entirely possible he doesn't. All those things could be an issue, or just who he is. What do the school/other professionals think?

Concerns were raised when he was a toddler but not since then.

all sounds pretty normal to me.What age?

He's now well into his 30s ... Sigh.

Why would he be holding is sisters hand at 30? How does he get into a situation where he hurts her?

As a child he wouldn't I meant. I am his sister.

He has never once instigated contact - never given me a hug or a kiss on the cheek. At our dads funeral he wouldn't even sit next to me - embarrassing, looked like there had been a family row!

your OP doesn't make sense, mixed tense of being a child and an adult

Ah that makes much more sense! It sounds like he would be assessed to see if he was on the autistic spectrum today. Or maybe he holds a grudge against you from childhood? Have you talked to him?

Neither does my brother? Why would he hold my hand? This post makes absolutely no sense and you sound weird

I'm no expert but it doesn't sound at all typical to me.

OP, I'm confused by your initial post. Is he all of these things now, or when he was a child? I mean, I get that you're not still trying to hold hands with him, etc. but some of the other things - are they present now? Just as a young child?

I'm too confused to be any help I think. It's been a long day.

Confused.com

Get the cat away from him.

The complaining is selfish, my DD used to insist on listening to her CDin car but she learnt to share the car CD player. It took time and tantrums but we got there.

No, I don't think he does. It isn't that he seems to dislike me - the opposite if anything. It's just that he is so very 'untouchable.'

The reason I posted is because I need help and I don't know where else to turn. I've explained what he was like as a child but as an adult he remains ignorant, boorish and generally odd in many ways.

His listening skills are non existent - he says 'oh right to everything you say' or a robotic 'You're Joking!' if he gets he's meant to be surprised. He still finds other people's pain, discomfort or misfortune hilarious giggles endlessly over a college mate he had who went to jail for tax evasion and looks up stories about teachers, doctors and businessmen who lost their jobs due to some inappropriate behaviour and brings them up between giggles in random conversation. Last week he called round when I had a friend round and after the niceties he started giggling and 'have you read about this teacher ...?' If someone says something that he twigs he is meant to laugh at he will react with a robotic HA HA HA.

He dwells on injustices done to him by ex friends from months ago and will get really wound up and upset about this. A few months ago the wife of one of his old mates offended him. That was at a Christmas party so December. He's still ranting about it now

And the inappropriate clothing thing remains. All he wears are hoodies that are several times too large and tracksuit bottoms. The hoodies are often dirty. He sleeps in them. He looks homeless on a good day. If I say this to him he says 'well no one knows me.' This is his stock answer to pissing in public, walking shirtless around tesco and farting in the cinema. He just doesn't seem to get the difference between public and private.

He over explains everything. If he doesn't want to do something he will say 'well I have been working all day and I am very tired ...' We sold our dads caravan after he died and the neighbours asked where it was. Instead of just saying he said (so loudly!') 'WELL WE COULDN'T AFFORD THE FUNERAL BILL AND THEY SENT THE DEBT COLLECTORS ROUND.' (they hadn't!

He has some form or health anxiety or SOMETHING, I honestly don't know! He sees his doctor two to three times a week. Constantly ill with 'flu' or 'something's going round.' You can't question this - 'I couldn't get out of bed' 'well you're up now' 'well yeh I saw the doctor and ...'

He has no friends really and has never had a girlfriend or "proper" job.

I don't know what the hell to do!

Maybe he is, maybe not.

If he's in his thirties now, what do you hope to get from a label?

Mixed through an entire childhood, those were the only concerns? Because if that is all...

I'm sorry if I 'sound weird' - I was initially trying to see what if anything in my brothers childhood might be a red flag for special needs. Of course people wanted to know how old he was.

To clarify: when we were growing up my brother would not hold my hand eg when crossing the road. Now we are adults and he has never touched me once.

Please could that be the end of 'you sound weird' posts - I am at the end of my tether near enough.

Aspergers.

x-posted. I think you do nothing. If he's that unpleasant, I would minimise contact and have good boundaries.

FWIW my DBro was never assessed but definitely on the spectrum. No physical contact at all. Ever. However, he is polite, clean and well-mannered (within reason, he doesn't make small talk). Could have a personality disorder, your DB. But what good is it to know that?

I try Terry but it's very hard as I'm the only form of contact he has. Also I can see he isn't deliberately unpleasant and, to be blunt, his life is already lonely, sad and dull.

On practical grounds it's difficult as we share a flat (we co own it I should say really) - he won't sell it so I need to have some contact with him for the organisation with this!

He won't move from where we live and part of me thinks I perhaps should but then I have friends and a home here so why should I?

It's just draining and exhausting.

He does sound unusual, yes. But I'm entirely unqualified and as someone else said, would some kind of diagnosis actually help in any way?