OCD Chemicals + Baby - Help please?

[rosekelly28]

I had no idea where to put this so I apologise that it's not really an AIBU.

I've been worrying myself sick and can't find any answers so I'm hoping someone here can help me (I have severe OCD which might help explain my reaction to what happened).

A couple of nights ago I stupidly left a plastic washing up basin on top of my gas oven. I then proceeded to cook dinner and the heat coming out of the vent at the back of the oven melted a hole in the bowl and subsequently the melted plastic dripped onto the stove and unfortunately down the vent. The plastic had only just melted and hadn't reached bubbling or burning stage. There were no smell/fumes and no smoke but I'm unbelievably worried about my 7 month old DD's health and I'm concerned that she may have breathed some toxins in. Is it possible for fumes to be released from melted NOT burned plastic even if there's no smell or smoke? Would I know if there was? I have a sore throat which I've convinced myself is related but I'm not sure but all I care about is my DD.

I'm also worried about how the person coming out will fix the oven, I really don't want him using chemicals to clean the vents and will completely freak out if he sprays anything etc. I'm dreading him coming but I know it needs to be fixed.

I've gotten rid of everything on the worktops around the oven because I'm worried harmful toxins may have settled on stuff, including an expensive steamer/blender that I use to make baby food. I'm so worried and don't feel safe in the house anymore.

Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation?

I'm not in any way an expert op but it does sound like you're overreacting. The danger from a small amount of melted plastic is basically nil and there's no chance your sore throat is connected.

You clearly want to do the best for your daughter but it sounds like that's got mixed up with your fear of chemicals. Do you have anyone you speak to when your ocd flares up op? It sounds like you might need a little help to deal with the situation if you're so worried you don't feel safe at home.

Sending very un mumsnetty hugs to you. It sounds like you're having a tough time.

Hi OP, can understand your concern with OCD but you really have nothing to worry about.
If there was a problem with DD you would already know about it, and even then worst case is probably a headache for a few minutes

You really don't have anything to worry about except the hole in the bowl!!

please get help. Everything from water upward is a chemical and you need some education and some mental health assistance to cope with this. You are presumably using soap, washing up liquid, washing powder? Anything used to fix things is no more harmful.

not your fault but please start at the GP.

There was a thread asking a similar question a while back. I asked DH about it as he's scientist who specialises in plastics. He said to throw away any damaged plastic, wipe any other affected surfaces with hot soapy water and give the roof an airing to get rid of the smell. And don't worry, you and your baby are not at risk.

Same goes for the cleanup of the oven. I know with OCD its not as simple as "just don't worry about it" but the chemicals used to clean the over really won't harm DD unless she ingests them directly.

I know you must be really worried, but deep breath and relax...

I'm not a chemist, and I'm sure someone who is will be along soon, but google seems to be pretty adement that if it hasn't burned or oxidised, no gas will have been released, and therefore nothing will have been inhaled by either you or DD.

*give the room and airing

I had CBT when I was pregnant but it didn't help. I think I need to go back to my GP and see if there is another therapist because the one I had seemed to find my OCD funny.

I do understand chemicals (obviously not an expert) so it's not like I'm just afraid of anything that isn't 'pure' or 'natural' but the amount of things I've read on the internet about burning plastic being harmful to baby's lungs terrifies me. I called NHS 111 and the nurse who called back said that they take fumes very seriously and asked me if they filled the house or just the kitchen. I must admit, I am confused about what is considered to be a 'fume' as I would assume that I would have at least had to smell the melting plastic for it to be harmful which I didn't. I told her that I couldn't smell anything but she still went on to read loads of stuff about things I didn't understand, I'm not sure she did either. I know Carbon Monoxide is odourless and invisible but I'm worried that the melted plastic might have produced something similar.

I have health anxiety so have been through similar. .. it does sound like your OCD.
Word to the wise ... anxiety is very commonly not diagnosed (and encouraged by adverts aimed at parents) so when you post on a forum you might get people saying you're being appropriately concerned when actually it's an intrusive worry.
I have found this out through experience. I would cling to the 1 post that said I was right to worry.

Is there anyone irl you can phone when things like this happen? I've found this the best method: I have a very good/safe/sensible friend I trust would never be reckless. When I phone her with worries she helps by keeping things in proportion.

The nhs phone lines are very cautious and basically treat you like you're leaving stuff out. This is because a few years ago someone rang up downplaying a child's headache - the nurse said it wasn't meningitis but it was and the child either died or was very ill, the phone line was sued.
They therefore read everyone the riot act. I once rang up about period pain and got told I was having an ectopic pregnancy!

Also that nurse is unlikely to be a specialist and will have a script of bases to cover.

I think you and your baby should go and sit at a trusted relative/friends house whilst that person goes to your house and supervises the fixing/cleaning person. That person should explain to the fixer that you have OCD/anxiety and would like chemical/vapour kept to a minimum and any parts that could be cleaned outside should be.

Your baby's health has not been harmed and she does not need to see a GP. If you are worried, take her out for some fresh air, but this is more to out your own mind at rest.

You can get the relative/friend to give the kitchen a good airing by opening windows/doors after the fixing is done. This relative can also wipe all the surrounding surfaces with something disposable and safe like baby wipes.

Remember that domestic mishaps do happen. What has happened in your house is a fairly ordinary accident. People accidentally melt plastic items very often. Your baby is actually pretty robust at 7 months as well. I remember feeling as if my dc1 was going to die from mold spores when he was a baby and we found a satsuma that had been in a bag for 3 months. I was afraid for him to go in the room the bag had been opened in.

I hope this post is helpful. I do understand how you feel. Try to remember that nothing bad will happen as a result of this. You are getting the problem sorted.

Thanks for your help and kindness everyone.

squizita what you said about clinging to the one post that sort of agrees with my worry is completely right. I read people's comments and pick out the bits that will make me feel worse and then I'll fret even more.

There's so many horror stories on the internet about people burning plastic and the scary toxins that can be released into the air. I'm worried that they've settled on the walls and on the worktops so I've been furiously cleaning everything in sight, it's exhausting!

Fleecyleesy I wish I could go to someone's house but I don't know anyone who would be able to come and observe for me so it's going to have to be me :( I just hope that he will just remove the part (if that's possible) and go away and find a replacement for it rather than using stuff to melt the plastic and actually cause fumes or whatever. I wish my OH could take the day off to supervise but he can't.

Op we have had to live ( over the years) with solid weeks of burning plastics from our delightful neighbours, ignoring the tip, a 5 mins drive away and simply burning all sorts in their gardens.

We had thick black smoke chocking us, for hours every day for weeks, whilst our council operatives kept saying " people are allowed to burn bonfires in their garden" whilst we shrieked, " its not a fucking bonfire its house hold waste"!

the point is, it was horrible, it still happens and we are all alive and survived.

A precious first born can bring out the OCD in anyone do not be hard on yourself but at the same time, you absolutely need to get this in check so you do not in prison your child in this prison you are in.

Its a parents job to worry about germs and harmful stuff esp when the baby is this young. Its also your job to make sure as child grows they are free to develop in their own way and not in hibited by your issues.

Good luck op

Rose, if you are the one to be there, then try to have a conversation with the person before they start fixing/cleaning. Say the plastic worries you and you'd prefer a replacement/cleaning to take place outside. When tradespeople go to people's houses, they encounter a wide variety of situations and something like this is not a problem.

Rosa that must be absolutely awful. I freaked out a few weeks ago when our next door neighbours started a fire in their garden knowing full well that most of our windows and door was open, filling our kitchen with fumes and smoke. Not sure what they were burning but it didn't smell good.

You're right though, I do need to get control of this before it starts affecting my daughter in a negative way. I remember my own mum acting very strange about certain things when I was younger and I've grown up doing the same sort of stuff. We'd go to the supermarket and she'd reach right to the back of the shelf for something rather than grabbing one from the front and I'd ask what she was doing, her reply was that she was just making sure it was 'perfect' - I do the exact same thing now. My OCD is much much worse since I got pregnant though, it's absolutely crippling.

Fleecyleesy I'm just praying that whoever comes is understanding and will respect my wishes, if they're very quiet and don't explain what they're doing I'll probably have a meltdown! It's a gas oven so I know they'll have to turn the gas off and take the oven out of the corner to open up the back of it. I highly doubt they could get the plastic out anyway, I'm pretty sure it would have to be a replacement rather than a cleaning job. I wish I could afford a new oven then I wouldn't have to deal with this.

Your body is designed to deal with toxins as many natural things have small amounts that are not harmful and can be easily processed safely by the body. Could you go and sit outside whilst the oven is being cleaned so you don't have to worry about what is being used?

In fact evidence suggest that some exposure to dirt and germs may well be beneficial to children and help them develop a stronger immune system so remember that antiseptic cleanliness may not be the best thing for your DD in the long run.

I really would got to see your GP. You have a condition that is directly affecting your daily life and you shouldn't have to struggle to manage it on your own.

I'm sorry you are being affected to such an extent by these fears, I do agree that the likelihood of this incident having caused any harm to your DC is virtually nil, but I know it's hard to see that. When DS was a baby I remember throwing away an entire pan full of food because the onions had caught a bit and burnt and I had read that burnt food gives you cancer (and I'm a scientist who doesn't suffer with OCD , it was just my hormones!).

A small amount of melted plastic is very unlikely to give off much in the way of fumes, even if it had you would need a lot of them for a much more prolonged period to cause any harm. As others have said, you need to ensure that the repair does not cause you further anxiety, perhaps by being out of the house yourself, but I also think you need help addressing these fears as it is very hard to avoid chemicals in every day life, even if you keep them to a minimum in your home you never know when an unexpected incident is going to occur. Is your DH supportive and understanding?

If they're quiet, ask them to explain. They should be nice about it.

This sort of OCD and anxiety is a whole lot worse when you are pregnant/have a small baby. I feel much better now mine are older but still I worry about stuff but it isn't crippling anymore.

Are you breastfeeding? I'm not saying to stop if you are but one of my turning points was when I stopped feeding them at 12 months and almost overnight had a significant improvement. It's almost like your body is filled with protective hormones when feeding (in my case anyway). But don't give up feeding if this is the case for you, just work towards an endpoint like 12m.

I could go and sit outside but the not knowing is even worse than knowing what's happening if that makes sense? I will be looking over the poor guy's shoulder to see what he's doing the whole time, hopefully DD will be sleeping or something so that I can observe. I never used to worry about chemicals until pregnancy but now I'm obsessed, I'll only clean with white vinegar and baking soda, and when I do the laundry I wear gloves so that I don't come into contact with detergent. I once spilt some on my hands and then scrubbed them with hot water to get rid of any traces.

My DH is not very understanding unfortunately. He used to be but now he's kinda given up on me and just gets frustrated and angry with me. When it happened he couldn't see why I was so worried and I kept asking him questions about fumes and toxins etc. and to shut me up he just said yeah the house will be filled with invisible and odourless fumes and we're all going to die. He doesn't realise how this effects me and thinks I choose to be like this :(

I just want to say thank you to everyone who replied today I can't believe how lovely and kind people can be to offer help and support to someone like me. I'm going to get better for my little girl and fight this monster that is OCD. It really helps to hear from others who have been or are going through similar.