Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to choose my ds over my cat

70 replies

tobytomcat88 · 11/05/2015 23:39

bit of background we just moved out of my mums with our 7 mo ds and 1 if the family cats...... he has always been a nightmare with the other 2 cats (we think because he's the only male) he would never use the litter tray or food bowl if they had used it.... therfore he would go to the toilet EVERY WHERE!

I thought all this would change if he was alone but he still continues to wee and poo all over. it'd got that bad he no comes in the house for a wee!! We've put up with it for 3 weeks

he has now started weeing in my son's playpen I have had to disinfectant it 4 times in the past week! I'm worried 1 day I won't notice he's done it and let me son play and chew on the toys in there.

I would send him back home but he used 2 bully 1 of the other cats who is a lot older and she's now just getting back to her usual self.

my partner wants him gone ......
I loved this cat to bits he was my baby before ds was born

any advice....

OP posts:
fiveacres · 11/05/2015 23:41

Well, YANBU but then no one should have to put up with a cat pooing and weeing everywhere.

I had a cat who did this; I had to confine him outside to a shed.

Original poster
tobytomcat88 · 11/05/2015 23:44

He would hate that if you leave him out longer than 20 mins he sits outside shouting

OP posts:
ShootPeppaPig · 11/05/2015 23:45

Um no YANBU, you are being sensible.

I know nothing about cats so someone may come along with a solution which allows you to keep both...

However if they don't, definitely pick your DS to keep

corgiology · 11/05/2015 23:45

Get Feliway and put litter trays wherever he is going. Everywhere.

He is one stressed cat!

fiveacres · 11/05/2015 23:47

Well, but wherever he goes, assuming you want to rehome him, he will poo and wee over the house.

No one should have to put up with that.

Original poster
tobytomcat88 · 11/05/2015 23:47

I don't think it's stress like I said he's always dome it and we've had him 8 years. He just likes 2 wee on soft things
eg
towels
bath mats
clean washing
dirty washing
mop heads
carpets
soft toys
cushions

you get my drift

OP posts:
Original poster
tobytomcat88 · 11/05/2015 23:48

I don't know anyone who would take him anyway

OP posts:
Tiptops · 11/05/2015 23:48

Agree with corgio

He sounds incredibly stressed. You say your partner wants him gone but what do you want?

You have plenty of options to try i.e. medications, a behaviourist etc but only worth pursuing if you ultimately want to keep the cat.

Original poster
tobytomcat88 · 11/05/2015 23:50

We have very limited income I couldn't afford things like that. I love my cat I just don't see its working.

OP posts:
TaintedAngel · 11/05/2015 23:54

has he been neutered?

my cat was a nightmare for peeing all over the place to the point I was ready to rehome and it broke my heart. Vet said due to his breed being laid back and the fact it was actual pee and not spray then getting him neutered would be unlikely to solve the issue. thought he deserved the chance so got him done. he has been perfect since then. Vet thought it was a urine infection causing him to go outside his box which it obviously wasn't.
we also do a full grit box clean change daily rather than just a daily scoop out and grit top up as he likes fresh grit daily so that helps too.
I read about fella way and that was next on my list for him. it's sounds great.

hope you get to the bottom of it.

thecatneuterer · 11/05/2015 23:56

How many litter trays do you have and where are they?

thecatneuterer · 11/05/2015 23:59

The first thing to try is lots of trays of different types (covered and non covered) and may be with some different types of litter.

Original poster
tobytomcat88 · 12/05/2015 07:45

My baby has just started crawling. The usual cay litter tray is in the utility room behind a stair gate I can't put them everywhere my son will crawl into it

OP posts:
FireflyGirl · 12/05/2015 09:06

Sounds like he has un-house trained himself. You need to be prepared to put some work in to sort it out.

thecatneuterer knows what she is talking about! If he's weeing on soft things, it's because he likes the texture.

I think with work you can solve this, but if you can't / don't want to put the effort in then you need to rehome. At the minute it's not fair on your cat or your son.

BettyCatKitten · 12/05/2015 09:28

Try a new tray with shredded paper, ie hamster bedding which is soft and relatively cheap.

Micah · 12/05/2015 09:38

Neuter if not already.

Confine him to one room in the house.

Make sure other cats aren't getting in.

Clean with a solution of biological washing powder. (never bleach)

See vet about medication.

Give it a little longer.

DontWorryBeHappyNow · 12/05/2015 09:39

I'll get shot down for this but I'd PTS. This has bee going on for 8 years and isn't going to change. As others have said, the cat is massively stressed. It would be the kindest thing to do. As for continuing to allow a pet to do its business everywhere, never mind with a baby i the house - I'm afraid I wouldn't put up with it any longer than you have. Cat has to go. Nobody else will take it and confining it to outside / a shed would distress it so PTS is the only option. Do it now.

sebsmummy1 · 12/05/2015 09:41

Sorry but I would PTS too. It sounds bloody disgusting and I couldn't live in a house that was saturated in animal urine.

VivienScott · 12/05/2015 09:41

I had a cat who used to do exactly this and it was down to stress. There's a new baby and a new home. Cats aren't humans, they do not understand change. For my cat it was the number of other cats in the neighbourhood and living in a small house. Soon as I moved, no other cats coming into the house and more space, it all stopped. I also adopted a cat who did this the first few months he was getting used to being in a different environment, again it stopped once he settled in.

Take him to the vets with to get him hacked as it might be an underlying infection, but also get some advice on how to calm him. Otherwise it might just be a case that he's too sensitive for your household and needs somewhere calmer, sorry.

DontWorryBeHappyNow · 12/05/2015 09:42

Give it a little longer??? How long? They haven't been able to retrain it in 8 years FFS!

OP, don't feel guilty if you do what I think you have to do. You don't have a choice, really.

VivienScott · 12/05/2015 09:44

And I doubt you'd find a good vet happy to put a cat to sleep if it's otherwise healthy for this reason, mine certainly would't.

Azrael01 · 12/05/2015 09:46

Don'tWorry you can't put a cat to sleep just because he's not house trained!! The OP can at least re-home him via cats protection. OP if you don't have the time to invest in him, someone else will, but I would take him to the vet and get them to check there's not a medical problem causing this.

Also when you see he is about to go to the toilet, pick him up and put him in the litter tray. You need to make sure you clean any 'accidents' well or he will go back to that spot each time. Feliway does work for some cats, so also worth a try. If he's recently moved in with you, he is likely to be stressed by the change and baby.

Micah · 12/05/2015 09:48

He's only been 3 weeks in his new, single cat home.

Multi cat households can be very stressful. My rescue was re homed for the same reasons- 5 years of pissing all over the previous owners house.

I had him as a single cat. It took a while to break him if the habit, a course of antidepressants and a lot of reinforcement. Took about 6 months but then he completely stopped (and was a far happier cat) until he died 12 years later.

Cats often aren't happy living with other cats, and this type of behaviour tends to be territorial against other household cats.

So yes, I'd give him a bit longer in their new environment.

sebsmummy1 · 12/05/2015 09:54

I thought as the owner you did have the right to have an animal euthanised if you so wish. Bloody hell animal charities have healthy animals PTS all the time.

Are they running some under the counter death racket?

AuntyMag10 · 12/05/2015 09:57

It must be horrible for your son and dp to live like this. I would definitely rehome or send it back to your dm. You have a child, their health should be a priority.

Swipe left for the next trending thread