to choose my ds over my cat

[tobytomcat88]

bit of background we just moved out of my mums with our 7 mo ds and 1 if the family cats...... he has always been a nightmare with the other 2 cats (we think because he's the only male) he would never use the litter tray or food bowl if they had used it.... therfore he would go to the toilet EVERY WHERE!

I thought all this would change if he was alone but he still continues to wee and poo all over. it'd got that bad he no comes in the house for a wee!! We've put up with it for 3 weeks

he has now started weeing in my son's playpen I have had to disinfectant it 4 times in the past week! I'm worried 1 day I won't notice he's done it and let me son play and chew on the toys in there.

I would send him back home but he used 2 bully 1 of the other cats who is a lot older and she's now just getting back to her usual self.

my partner wants him gone ......
I loved this cat to bits he was my baby before ds was born

any advice....

Hakluyt Yes, but the best option is to try and find a more suitable environment (obviously not outside!) I've had cats who suffered all kinds of trauma, from abandonment and road accidents to physical abuse - they've all been happily rehomed. Toileting issues are not reason for killing someone, in my book. At least not before every other option has been explored.

Good grief this sort of topic really isn't suited to the combative posting style of AIBU; half the people will tell you to "stop being ridiculous it's just a cat, put it to sleep" while the other half turn on those posters for being heartless and it descends into a bunfight. If you want some actual advice about different options to try for the cat to change the situation you're in, go and post a new thread in the litter tray section (subforum of pets). Otherwise if you're not willing to try to change the circumstances for both your family and your cat, you probably need to go and make an appointment to speak to a vet and/or local rescue charities.

I had this problem with a young female cat. She ruined 2 carpets that had to be replaced, and would wee against curtains etc. I tried the confining to one room, giving her free run, multiple litter trays etc nothing worked and she would just wee wherever she fancied. Having a 3 year old and crawling 10 month old it wasn't ideal, so reluctantly I took her to the vets to be PTS. They actually rehomed her to a stables where her habits were'nt a problem.

My honest opinion is that habits learned over 8 years is going to be hard to break, do you have the time and the patience?

I'll get shot down for this but I'd PTS

Me too. Its a cat. I love cats, but they are just animals and the poor cat is obviously stressed.

Stress is not like a terminal disease. We wouldn't kill a stressed out human we'd look for ways to help them. Animals can also recover from stress. Like I said above, I'm currently fostering a cat who defecates outside of his litter tray. It's not nice, but we're working on it and things are slowly getting better. He's a lovely boy and I would be horrified at the thought of his life being ended because of that one problem. Even if he never completely stops, I know sooner or later someone will come along who will love him and offer him a home despite that.

If you really do love him to bits OP, make sure you've looked at all available options before you think about having him killed. (I'm not trying to be cruel by using the actual wording for what would happen - but it's a fact, he wouldn't be put to sleep, he'd be killed.)

My cat went through a phase like this. I got him from an animal shelter, he's neutered and house trained. I'd had him a year and he suddenly abandoned his tray and took to crapping under my bed and peeing anywhere he fancied. Changing the type of litter in his tray worked for me, apparantly some cats dislike the texture of some litters. Changing the place the tray is in may help, in a quiet area, away from household traffic, etc. Ultimately, he may be happier in a single cat/no kids household so rehoming him may be the best option. I think a lot of this kind of thing is caused by stress.

FFS PTS is horrid its a bloody life your ending for no other reason then its inconviant (if its super ill / aggressive different cup of tea)

all the people suggesting PTS you should be ashemed of yourselves the answer to pet problems isnt out right killing of them I wish vets could keep a record/ make a note of people that get animals PTS for conivance issues and have them forever banned from keeping pets ever.

God what has the world come to pets are despoable as soon as theirs a problem you kill the poor things god I am actully actully disgusted with some of you people ANIMALS ARE FOR LIFE not until they become a mild inconvace.

It's more than a mild inconvace when your house stinks, believe me. It's a very serious inconvace ...

No-one is saying she should just live in her cats piss, but there are other options to check out first, like rehoming.

Jeezo consulting MN to justify getting your cat put down.

Awful.

if you want to rehome the cat then id totally understand.

Feliway isnt that expensive compared to the damage of cats wee. Also you could just buy the spray and spray on his bedfing. cheaper than the diffuser.

what are you cleaning with? many cleaners actually attract cats to wee and or dont get rid of the smell - remember that cats smell is better than ours. You need to use biological washing powder then when dry pat down with methylated spirits.

the problem is that it sounds like he has never learned not to go indoors.

it might actually be worth doing away with the letter tray or putting it outside. worth a try.

best of luck

Yep. So much better for an animal to spend its life in a pen in a rehoming centre with only the attention overworked staff can give it and not being rehomed because it pees everywhere........At least it's alive! Pah.

It is cruel to condemn an animal to an unhappy life bcause you are too cowardly to do the responsible thing.

Hakluyt As I already said, I am looking after a cat right now who has similar difficulties. I foster him and he'll be up for adoption when he's ready. He's perfectly happy here. Cats Protection, and other cats charities prefer for cats to be fostered in homes if possible.

It's simply not a case of live in cat piss or have your pet killed. There are options between those extremes.

This is such a sensitive issue OP and I'm sorry you're getting absolutely flamed.

I'm going to add that having a house covered in cat wee and poo is not an inconvenience. When you have a baby that has started crawling, it is an absolute health hazard. A baby could pick up some very nasty life-threatening diseases from cat poo. Please could everyone remember that.

By the way, the comment upthread about NEVER owing a pet again if you dare to suggest PTS was unbelievably harsh. The OP has said that she loves the cat to bits. No pet owner would be so obviously heartbroken if they didn't care about animals. Maybe we could all have a bit of sympathy and compassion for the OP who is obviously stressed, scared and heartbroken.

Trying to get it rehomed is an option but who is going to want to take on a stressed cat with serious issues? Taking the cat to a shelter is another option, but it would live in a cage which seems cruel.

Banishing the cat to one easy-to-clean area of the house is a great idea, as long as it is roomy, has windows, a cat flap and hard floors. So, this is also not easy for a lot of people. Banishing it to the shed sounds really harsh but if you can do it, it might save your sanity. Maybe the cat could come in in the evenings for a cuddle once your DS has gone to bed.

We have a cat. She was our baby before DS came along. She has always had stress issues and regularly goes through phases of weeing and pooing absolutely everywhere. DS once crawled in some and got it everywhere. Literally, everywhere. It was disgusting. We have all stood in her urine and poo and tracked it all over the house on more than one occasion.

I wrote a post on here a few years ago which was almost identical to yours OP. I dared to suggest that I was at my wit's end, and people absolutely flamed me for thinking I meant I was going to PTS.

Anyway, our cat has got better. We have made one major change which is that the cat is put outside at night or if we leave the house for any length of time. Flame away if you want to. I could not cope one day longer with coming downstairs EVERY morning to find a big pile of sloppy poo (digestive issues) and a huge puddle of wee. Every single morning. So she goes outside. At first I had sleepless nights because I felt so guilty. Now it's totally normal, the cat is fine, and the house is much improved. The downside is that all the paths, grass, patio... everywhere is covered in sloppy cat poo and it smells disgusting. But at least it's not the carpets.

OP can you try that? Put the cat out at night and when you go out. Keep an eye on him in the day. Watch his routine like a hawk. Our cat wakes up around midday, eats a tiny bit, has a poo, then eats some more. Like clockwork. She does the same later in the day. I have everything crossed that this works out for you.

Blimey, that was long!

Hakluyt most humans who are incontinent, stressed, unhappy, or imprisoned would still rather be in their situation than dead. Choosing the same for an animal is not cruel or unkind. Humans tell themselves that to make themselves feel better.

Hakluyt most humans who are incontinent, stressed, unhappy, or imprisoned would still rather be in their situation than dead. Choosing the same for an animal is not cruel or unkind. Humans tell themselves that to make themselves feel better."

Human's have a sense of time, they have inner resources and the capability to understand their situation. Animals don't . All they have is the intolerable present. Humans tell themselves a different story to excuse themselves from making hard, responsible decisions.

I have 2 cats, one is just like this. They were my babies until my real babies came along and this is when the weeing and pooing started. I get very very upset by it as its awful to clean up, but ive adjusted things in order to help because i feel responsible for them. I brought them into the house as kittens and gave them so much attention and now i struggle to with 2 little ones. I make sure upstairs rooms are out of bounds and my cat loves soft things too, so no piles of clothes left around. Its hard work but there is no way i could pts.

They can put me down if I become like that