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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think bloody hell crack a smile nursery mum

78 replies

ShootPeppaPig · 11/05/2015 18:22

Not sure what I could have ever done to offend this woman, but iv just been blatantly blanked not once, but twice while we were both with our kids who recognised each other...

Our kids go to the same place every day and play with each other there... Of course she doesn't speak to me there either but it's a drop off/dash out situation and I presumed that was why we never spoke as she might be rushing to get to work iyswim

To make matters worse I obviously smiled both times thinking at least she'd acknowledge me the second if she pretended not to see me the first (which was impossible, we were stood next to each other!)

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 11/05/2015 18:23

She's probably shy or socially awkward. Let it go.

caravanista13 · 11/05/2015 18:24

I'd just keep on smiling and saying hi every time - it gives you the moral high ground!

CMOTDibbler · 11/05/2015 18:25

I've had people do that to me - ds will be chatting with children (equally as enthusiastically, so not like they don't like him) and the mum will completely blank me with not even the smile I give to people I see for 30s a week at the swimming pool.

Its weird imo

fieldfare · 11/05/2015 18:26

There might be a multitude of reasons she hasn't spoken with you,none of them are your business.
A recent bereavement, she may have aspergers/autism, may be depressed, incredibly shy or uncomfortable around new people, anything!
Don't worry about it, it's not a personal affront, let it go.

DorisLessingsCat · 11/05/2015 18:29

If it's me, I'm sorry. I have a terrible memory for names and faces and genuinely don't recognise people even if I see them several times a week.

I am also quite short sighted but I don't bother wearing my glasses half the time, so you would have to be pretty close for me to recognise.

Finally, I live half my life in a day dream and can easily blank people while lost in my thoughts. It's the curse of the introvert.

Seriously though, don't worry about it.

ShootPeppaPig · 11/05/2015 18:29

I'd love to believe she was just shy or socially awkward - but she seems to manage fine with other mums.

Perhaps I shouldn't, but I think it's more likely snobbery - she's slim and pretty and glams up every day.

I'm overweight, no make up, scraped back hair and would fall flat on my face in her heels

Did nothing but put a great big dent in my confidence today, felt v wierd and dreading seeing her tomorrow

OP posts:
MyChemicalMummy · 11/05/2015 18:29

I think fieldfare has it sport on.

drudgetrudy · 11/05/2015 18:30

Some people are just like that!
I don't think its shyness, shy people would usually respond to a smile and be pleased to be acknowledged.

emsyj · 11/05/2015 18:31

Sounds like you're judging her much more than she's judging you, OP. Nice!

YorkieButtonsizeMen · 11/05/2015 18:32

I have someone on the school run like this, won't look at me, won't smile even if I try to. I know she's not especially shy - she talks to other people freely, I think she's just decided she doesn't like me on the basis of what I look like or how I behave and that's all there is to it. Perhaps she knew 'someone like me' once and I disturb her - I have no idea though.

I've decided just to ignore her completely now unless I really have to engage. There are bound to be people like this now and again.

Justmuddlingalong · 11/05/2015 18:32

She may be more 'glam' than you, but you have better manners. Ignore her, don't take it to heart.

ShootPeppaPig · 11/05/2015 18:32

DorisLessingsCat Grin I hope it's not you, as I'm concerned you might not be wearing your glasses for driving either

OP posts:
tametempo · 11/05/2015 18:33

Don't feel bad, you've done nothing other than be friendly and sociable.
As a very shy introvert, my first thought is that she might be like me.
Even if she's not, you've lost nothing by being lovely, OP. Don't give it another thought.

drudgetrudy · 11/05/2015 18:33

I don't think OP is being judgy-it can feel uncomfortable when someone doesn't respond at all to a friendly overture. All she was expecting was for the person to smile or nod.

2fedup · 11/05/2015 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cassie258 · 11/05/2015 18:34

That's not nice op. Don't let her dent your confidence.

One of DDs friends mum is like that. I literally have no idea what to do but luckily I have a childminder so rarely see her.

SurlyCue · 11/05/2015 18:34

I'd just keep on smiling and saying hi every time - it gives you the moral high ground!

What the actual fuck? Confused moral highground? There is no moral highground. Do people actually go round thinking they are better people because they smiled at someone who didnt smile back? Hmm i would recommend getting a life if that's whats giving you your kicks.

ShootPeppaPig · 11/05/2015 18:38

emsyj - of course I'm judging her, I found her blanking me very rude. If she actually is DorisLessingsCat or someone with a similar reason, il will apologise to her that iv got it wrong and I'm sure she will understand why I felt offended by it.

You obviously have misinterpreted me however if you think I'm judging her for being glam or wearing heels or being slim - I would love to be all those things!

OP posts:
Shente · 11/05/2015 18:38

Two mums who I used to chat to quite regularly when dd was a baby, I see them quite often in our local playground but they totally blank me. I just don't believe they don't recognise me, I think they're worried that if they acknowledgee me I'll interrupt their bitchfest

AmberFool · 11/05/2015 18:44

A recent bereavement, she may have aspergers/autism, may be depressed, incredibly shy or uncomfortable around new people, anything!

Or she's just rude. Grin

Theycallmemellowjello · 11/05/2015 18:48

You've smiled at her twice and not had a smile back so you reckon she's a snob? God she's probably not got her contacts in. But no, 'she's slim and pretty and always glans up' so she must be a birch. Ffs listen to yourself!

ShootPeppaPig · 11/05/2015 18:49

I have most of that - recent bereavement, am shy, hate meeting new people and suffer depression... But I still make an effort to offer a smile if I'm too nervous to start a conversation... Because I'm not intentionally rude to people...

I don't have an ASD...

OP posts:
meglet · 11/05/2015 18:53

I've known a couple like this. One of them suddenly starting being friendly after 3 yrs. odd.

TiggerLillies · 11/05/2015 18:54

This happened to me once, turned out the person wasn't wearing their glasses! And we are really good friends now, so might not be personal...

ConfusedInBath · 11/05/2015 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.