AIBU to trade my family in for some stick insects.....or a house brick.... or something, ANYTHING QUIET???

[BigStripeyBastard]

The two boys, 9 and 12 are in the dining room playing driving games and shrieking randomly.
Dp is in the living room watching bmw videos on you tube.
The cat, all 5 kgs of him, is sprawled across me, making noises like a Gattling gun.
The constant background noise is driving me mad.
Am I being unreasonable to trade them all in for something silent? A short holiday to an uninhabited island, perhaps? Some very quiet rocks........? A mute penguin?

P.S. this is obviously lighthearted
I know I would get nothing for them as trade in value

Swap the cat for earplugs.

Come and join us. We've got and are sitting in the conservatory and all we can hear is bird song. Bliss.

Can I throw in my 13 and 15 year old dses as a "bonus". They have been wrestling upstairs and I think they may come through the ceiling at any moment. It is doing my head in.

Good idea, Countess.
at mollusc..?.

Love..... the two boys are now arguing loudly about something completely pointless.....so I'll pass on your kind offer, ta muchly.

It's all right, I know how the noise can grate. My daughter makes enough noise and she's 19... yip yap yip yap, random laughter at something she's listening to on headphones... I could throttle her sometimes. :)

Have you thought of having them all stuffed and then you can still see them but they will be lovely and quiet? Sort of like a wax museum thing?

Expensive though,butterfly..... i would be ok with just a picture.....

Oh god no, YANBU. We have the Guests From Hell, and I haven't had a MOMENT'S FUCKING PIECE SINCE THEY ARRIVED. And they're here until FUCKING WEDNESDAY!

Sorry for shouting, but I needed to vent.

Howevet, I have . It's helping. Cheers BSB.

I'm unashamedly hiding in the loo from my rowdy lot who are playing outside. Thank god for bedtime in 20 minutes.

I fed them. They are quiet when eating.
Goring, I feel for you.

People should have mute buttons.

And fast forward buttons. Imagine being able to fast-forward when MIL or DM says "I don't want to interfere but . . ."