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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset over what these so called Friends have done today?

103 replies

JellyJamJam · 10/05/2015 11:35

I've namechanged as I feel a bit upset and embarrassed.

A workfriend asked if I wanted to meet up this weekend at a soft play centre, and then said another colleague was coming too, which was fine with me.

Yesterday evening they each sent me texts saying that they can't go. One said she was ill, the other said her husband was off work so they were going out. Fair enough.

However one of them has just checked in on FB at a cinema, tagged the other one and said they're having "a great day out with the kids".

Charming!

I'm pissed off. The second colleague that was invited along cannot bear people to be friends with each other, she wants to be involved in everything, so I am assuming it was her doing.

Won't be organising anything with either of them again!

OP posts:
MrsDumbledore · 10/05/2015 15:34

I thought what Shockers thought. My bf tagged me in a post yesterday about being in the cinema with her daughter and mine, but I wasn't with them. She may have made the kind gesture of taking an ill friend's child on their family day out. However if you are right and they are both at the cinema, they are not only bitches but stupid!

JellyJamJam · 10/05/2015 15:38

they are all at the cinema together and have been out to lunch too; they have put numerous photos on FB, they clearly wanted me to know.

Oh well, pair of bitches!

OP posts:
pictish · 10/05/2015 15:44

Ffs. What a pair of twats. I couldn't let this one go, it's horrible to blow you off with lies then go out on their own.

They would be treated with civil politeness from now on and no more.

Bunbaker · 10/05/2015 15:45

I would just unfriend and be cool with them at work.

Weebirdie · 10/05/2015 15:46

They want a reaction, or at least one of them does, so I'd just ignore them.

If however someone at work asks how the day out went you'd be quite within your right to explain what happened whilst being ever so charming about them.

ghostspirit · 10/05/2015 15:46

could you take a screen shot of their messages about being ill and husband home. then add it to where they are bragging so people can see how nasty they are?

or make up some crap about what a lovely day you have had doing something.?

or say nothing at all not even a hint. sometimes good not to show it bothers you as some people get a kick out of it

WhoNickedMyName · 10/05/2015 15:54

unfriend them now, and just be icy polite with both in future.

SirChenjin · 10/05/2015 15:57

Unfriend the witches. They are not worthy of your time.

MrsDumbledore · 10/05/2015 15:59

Oh well, in that case they really are bitches! The thing to remember is that you have to work with them, do unfortunately you may have to be far more reasonable about this than they deserve! Definitely forget about seeing them socially again though!

storminabuttercup · 10/05/2015 15:59

What cow bags. Just think you had a lucky escape not having to spend the day with them!

Chippednailvarnish · 10/05/2015 16:00

Fuck me, why are people so nasty to each other?

Fleecyleesy · 10/05/2015 16:15

Weird, particularly as the outing was not even suggested by you.

Personally I would not have engaged over this at all, I would have ignored it and then taken a step back from them. You do have to work with these people (how closely?).

Gabilan · 10/05/2015 16:17

"they are all at the cinema together and have been out to lunch too; they have put numerous photos on FB, they clearly wanted me to know."

Unfriend and also block them. Stay polite and professional at work, rise above it.

From what you say about the jealous nature of one of them, she could be manipulating the other one and the situation. Really, people like this are not worth it.

Nevercallmehun · 10/05/2015 16:40

Deffo second friend's doing. I imagine first friend invited you, second friend said 'wtf did you invite her for?' First friend felt guilty/pressured into the lie. Second friend is a jealous witch. That is unless it was first friend splashing it all over fb.

Hold your head high OP. Not your fault.

HoggleHoggle · 10/05/2015 17:36

That's just awful. I can't even imagine why they feel the need to act this way.

MissDemelzaCarne · 10/05/2015 17:39

How childish and horrible of them.

Ohfourfoxache · 10/05/2015 17:39

With "friends" like this, who needs enemies?

Rise above it - you're the better person.

drudgetrudy · 10/05/2015 17:42

YANBU to be upset but try not to let it get to you-they are nasty cows-cool it with them and find some nicer friends. Don't let them see you are bothered-just distance yourself.

SurlyCue · 10/05/2015 17:47

These are work colleagues? Do you work in a huge company where they are unlikely to run into you? Otherwise i cant imagine why they would do this and want you to know! Surely they can forsee that this will be problematic in work? I dont understand the logic here. Unless there is a backstory?

Ohfourfoxache · 10/05/2015 17:53

Can I just say that you have no reason to be embarrassed - you've done nothing wrong and they sound like cunts.

Bambambini · 10/05/2015 17:54

Do people really act like this? I mean the putting their whereabouts and photos on FB for you to see after they cancelled on you? Bad enough cancelling like that but to be so stupid and possibly spiteful by letting you see it - unpleasant idiots!

CaitSith · 10/05/2015 18:10

Personally I'd be screenshotting the texts from both of them and posting the pictures as comments on the status. I'm not very good at rising above things though.

PeachyPants · 10/05/2015 18:23

Utter cunts, as someone said up-thread though you've dodged a bullet by finding this out now and avoiding them. Given that they're work colleagues I wouldn't make an issue of this, just behave professionally and avoid being drawn into their stupid games. I would however be quietly watching their work like a hawk and looking for any opportunity to fuck them over professionally, people like this are often sloppy or dodgy at work so an opportunity for revenge may well present itself.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 10/05/2015 18:28

How utterly mean and vindictive of them. As you have to work with these people OP, I think you need to work out a strategy for how you're going to deal with this when you inevitably see them at work. Are you going to call them out and ask them why they lied? Are you going to ignore and effectively remove them from your life? Or something in between? I really feel for you, what a horrible situation they've put you in.

Gabilan · 10/05/2015 18:52

"Personally I'd be screenshotting the texts from both of them and posting the pictures as comments on the status. "

I'd be very, very careful about doing anything inflammatory and leaving an evidence trail that other colleagues might see. These things have a nasty way of blowing up. Things that seem justifiable at the time can be manipulated. These two (or at least one of them) seem like the kind of people who may manipulate situations. I'd stay whiter than white and not give them any kind of ammunition.

IMO what they want is a reaction, one that entails displays of emotional hurt and retaliation. Politely rising above their little games will make the OP the bigger person and will also thoroughly piss them off. Win win.

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