to think that we're being a bit thick spending all our money on cosmetics

[southeastastra]

and shit

really who cares if we just wear jeans and a t shirt every day.

we're crackers spending £££ on fashion

BTW I agree the thread title is worded badly.

Are you asking this of men as well then, sourdrawers? Questioning their intelligence for whatever their cars, homes, clothes mean to them?

I am cynical. I'm also getting a bit fed up of seeing these threads. It's always the same and, if I ever did venture to FWR, I'd expect to see a précis of responses and much pointing at the 'thickwits on AIBU', just like the last dozen times.

You're asking questions from a feminist perspective, based on a crassly written OP from somebody who hasn't stuck around to explain, engage or do anything other than flounce because some called her on her rudeness.

I don't feel compelled to wear make up, nice perfume, lace-top stockings... I just do because I like how it makes me feel. Very much like SDTG's post really. I was grey (about 80%) at 24. I didn't want to be grey, it doesn't look good on me, not like on some women who have beautiful grey hair. I went blonde. In order to have a good colour that doesn't draw attention, I pay ££ to have it done at a hairdresser skilled in colouring.

Now, if you were to ask, "Why is it that men do not seem to be as bothered about grey hair on them as women are on them? Why do they not feel as judged?" - well I would think that an excellent question. I believe this to be true. Women are more judgemental of their own appearance... and that of other women, from my experience. I don't know where this comes from but it's insidious, I think.

All in the phrasing, sourdrawers, you don't come across as judgemental to me and I'd reply accordingly.

It's a bit thick to be suckered by marketing, but I can't think of any culture that doesn't enhance their appearance in some fashion. Even those remote Amazonian tribes decorate their faces and bodies. I dare say humans have been doing so since they first discovered berry juice stains your skin.

cross-posted with your last post. I do that - a LOT.

Brian... and, as a teenage girl, revelling in the fact that the 'teeth staining' things in biology class made an excellent - and immovable - replacement for the forbidden lipstick!

All aspects of our lives, from the literature we read, the clothes we buy, (young people have been persuaded to wear corporate logos as symbols of rebellious 'cool'!), to the food we eat and so on, are all determined by the powerful interests that run the world to some degree. By that : 'our' includes men too, of course it does. But as a woman I find it easier to refer to my own direct experience.

The thread is about cosmetics and what I'm particularly interested in. There are IMO vested interests that keep women and men in a permanent state of anxiety about the way we look. To be discontented with our bodies and personalities. The magazines aimed at middle aged women I've seen seem to be projecting the attitude that looking one's age is bad, presumably because millions of their ad revenue comes from people who would go out of business if visible age looked good.

The op's choice of wording is poor and subsequent posts haven't helped. But I hang out on Style and Beauty a lot and I have to admit I'm open mouthed sometimes at the number of products some women use.

It would be different if we were genuinely decorating ourselves in a creative way but let's face it, most of us (and I'm including myself) don't. Instead everyone's beginnng to look the same. It troubles me and incidentally I'm about as vain as they come.

Agree with all of that, sourdrawers, all of it. That's very interesting.

As an aside, I'm currently watching 'Judging Amy' (on CBS Drama), starring (imo) the ultimate feminist character - Maxine Gray (played by the excellent Tyne Daly). In a previous episode she was leafing through a book with her young granddaughter who asked, "What's anorexia, grandma?". Maxine replied, "It's a disease that women get from reading magazines.". I couldn't agree more.

We are being bombarded with this 'stuff' and some of it just slips under the radar of consciousness, or it does with me anyway. Leg waxing was a recent revelation to me... I've been doing it for years and really like the results, I say that I do it for me but I'm not so sure. I'll still do it, will always do it, but I won't say that it's not something that doesn't niggle at me now, just a bit.

I neither spend my money on cosmetics nor shit. I don't like the feel of either on my face.

I wish Richard and the fabulous Rachel would appear and stop this being such a women-bashing thread.

It totally depends on which camp you're in.

I used to have a best friend who said makeup made her look like a courtesan (she didn't suit it) and she did look better with a natural look. Some people look better this way, natural.

Some people like me like makeup to make them look less tired, brighter or also like bright colours eg eyeshadow.

So I'd wonder if you're calling ME a bit thick spending my money on cosmetics?!

My mum rarely wore makeup or doesn't wear it much now - sometimes she splashes out but its generally benefit cha cha tint, moisturiser and a good haircut regularly. She also rarely buys clothes but what she does buy she likes. No way I'd criticise her or her me but it's OUR money.

I dare you to post this on Makeupalley or the S&B Board.

Who are these women who are "compelled" to wear make up and get their hair done? I do it because I like it, and I'm fairly sure the women I know feel much the same. I've never heard anyone I know moan about doing it because they feel they have to.

OP - also what DO you spend your money on?!

Is it booze, naice chocolate, etc?! Do you have a great savings account or a gold palace where you sit and count your gold, like King Midas?

As my nana said you can't take it with you when you die. I'd rather look good and feel confident in myself with nice clothes/makeup etc than look a state and feel depressed with it.

Over the course of a year I probably do spend £££ on 'cosmetics and shit'. It's my money and I spend it how I like.

And personally I would care if I wore a t shirt and jeans every day - I would be bored shitless tbh.

But I don't consider myself 'thick' as an honours graduate; just somebody with an interest in fashion tyvm

Nicknacky - I don't feel compelled but I do if I admit it, due to work/friends etc sometimes feel i have to make an effort and wish I didn't have to do so...

but there you are, I live and work in a society where others can judge.

I do know that if I give my mum some Cha Cha Tint or a nice new colourful top it cheers her up, not only because it's a present but because it makes her feel good about herself. Women have done this since the start of time, Cleopatra etc... why change now?!

Great line ....The Tyne Daly one....

Don't get me wrong. Personally, I think make-up, hair products, push-up bras leg waxing etc are okay as long as you don’t feel like you cannot leave the house without them. Dollying up can be fun as long as you love and accept yourself when you are un-dollyed up. Eating healthy and moderate exercise are good too, as long as your self-image and self-worth are not defined by your weight & size.

As the mother of 2 girls, I've always tried to make sure to never criticise my appearance in front of them, (though, I’m still working on not being critical in my own head), also I try to de -emphasise physical beauty as a crucial value in my interactions with them both.

On the other hand, a friend of mine who is naturally thin, is getting more and more tired of being told that men actually prefer bigger women.

I don't feel ' compelled' in the slightest.
I love cosmetics and fashion, nobody's forcing me into it. It's not harming anyone and it doesn't make me less of a feminist and it certainly doesn't make me thick.

DH wears it formerbabe

My boss would care if I turned up in jeans as they are not allowed for work.

I love clothes and fashion but only spend a tiny amount of what I actually could on clothes and make-up which lasts for ages even though I wear make-up every day.
I am also very capable financially. These things are not mutually exclusive.

My friend will spend £££'s on a handbag. She's not thick though- she's my friend so she's very intelligent indeed!