to think man on tube was a definite perv?

[cakedup]

Sorry, FB related, I rarely post on FB myself but a friend updated her status to say she was standing on an overcrowded train with everyone pressed up against each other. She then realised the man behind her had an erection, so she turned around to double check this was the case, and he laughed, apologised and patted her on the back.

She gets all the usual "Ew grim" replies from her girl friends, and one of them suggests she phones British Transport Police. A male friend then comes on to say that he agrees it was grim, but that the man probably couldn't help it.

This is what I think; that unless we are talking about a 15 year old prone to reflex boners then I don't really buy the accidental boner thing and that he probably knew exactly what he was doing. In any case, if it was accidental, then you'd something about it - put your coat in the way or think of your dead dog or whatever. No matter how packed it is you'd find a way to move and you certainly wouldn't laugh about it.

Bloke comes back on to tell me that I am 'misguided', that it's not something you can turn on or off like a tap. He does agree that the way the guy dealt with it was creepy though. But that he can't be blamed for being sexually aroused.

He got my back up because I still felt like he was being a perv-apologist whereas he just thinks I don't understand the science of boners because I don't have a penis.

AIBU?

Yes. Perv. And yes she should report it. Happened to me once or twice when I lived in London and it's horrible, intimidating and grim.

It once happened to a friend of mine. She is fabulous and fearless (and American). She turned round to him and said in her loudest voice 'This man here is rubbing his etection against me and it is most unpleasant'. Everyone in the carriage turned round to look at him in disgust. It wiped the smirk off his face. I'm not brave enough to do that though.

That happened to me once. I smiled at him sweetly and kicked him as hard as I could in the shin. I was wearing steel toe-capped boots at the time (ah the 80s DM fashions...)

He patted her on the back? WTF
She should report him, perverts rely on women being embarassed and not saying anything. It's a form of control.

Many years ago I was on a packed tube and a yound woman suddenly grabbed the hand of the bloke behind her, thrust it into the air and shouted 'has anyone lost this hand because it keeps touching my arse'

She was fabulous.

And no, yanbu, she should definitely report it. And delete the perve apologist

Used to happen to me practically weekly when i used to travel a lot on the tube. This was from aged apx 13 to 17 (when i learned to drive) :(

I used to try to squirm/shuffle away, not confident enough to say or do anything. They would always follow, pressed up against my hip or back side. Ugh. V.creepy and unpleasant.

It happened to me once. I had a bag with a pair of really heavy shoes in it which got promptly bashed hard into said groin. He got the right hump so I liudly announced that if he hadn't been rubbing it against me I wouldn't had to ram my bag against him. He got off at the next stop and legged it.

What is seagulling??

squoosh

I have also done that!

This happened to me as a teenager in Paris. Weirdy pervy guys.

Definitely a perv given his reaction. On a related note I once did a tandem skydive and the fella whose front I was strapped to had one. I didn't mention it given he was in charge of keeping me alive, he disappeared fairly sharpish afterwards though!

metro.co.uk/2015/04/14/british-transport-police-urge-londoners-to-report-sexual-harassment-in-hard-hitting-new-video-5150647/ this made me feel sick because it's actually happened to me but I didn't think to report it I just shouted at him. They're disgusting individuals

Oops just seen it's been posted

A pervert. You think he move away, not press against someone. Eww

Just watching that video makes me RAGE.

Definite sex offender and British Transport police are very hot on it. Your friend didn't take a picture but I think they'd be interested in a report and a description.

We are all creatures of habit and he will be frotting against women on his way to and from work at the same times. He'll probably be proud of his cleverness. It won't be difficult to catch him given that stations are festooned with CCTV.

I'm not a man so I've no idea what happens to penises but I'd guess that most decent men would be horrified at their todger poking an unwilling person.

I cannot understand anyone who makes excuses for them.

It's a commuter train needascarf. It's not a game of Twister.

I think this says a lot...

I use public transport a lot but crucially not in peak times so there is always a lot of space between me and other people. If I ever do get on a packed train people are very conscious of not touching other people. They apologise for even touching hands on a railing.

It's deliberate

Exactly. If you ever brush your hand past a stranger's hand on the bus or train your immediate reaction is to withdraw it as quickly as possible. You feel you're invading their personal space even with a moment of innocuous hand to hand contact.

I would have stamped on his foot, and yelled at him. People are disgusting.

Please encourage your friend to report it to the police.

Somebody already gave her the number to report to, so I'll leave that up to her. I'm not going back on that fb thread because the last post from the perv-apologist was a bit passive aggressive and I don't want to get into an argument when I don't know him or even know the girl that well, and she might be really good friends with him. I've learnt my lesson on that one! These are students at my uni who are young enough to be my children and they love to get cocky and argue with an old timer like me, because at 20 you know everything, right?