To subtly ditch regular play date

[rosepetalsoup]

My daughter is 3 and has had a little local friend for the past year or so. Initially I was keen but recently I have begun to have my doubts about this play mate who is really quite mean to my daughter and not very fun loving at all. The mum is quite intense and full-on, wanting to meet up all the time. I would rather my daughter had a different friend, and I don't want her to be best friends with this girl (which is what the mum wants).

How do I back off? Is it ok to do this? Any experience?

Does your daughter only have this one friend? It all sounds very black and white. No wonder you feel it's intense!

Don't ditch but dissolve.

Get more friends for you both.

Don't judge 3 year olds as mean. They all are at times. Yours too. and mine and everyone else's on mumsnet at times.

You can do whatever you want, it's your child.

Fine to phase out gently and see them less regularly if you aren't keen, but remember she is a 3 year old and 3 year olds can be unkind to each other... they go through different phases.

It does sound intense maybe she's a bit lonely I would see if you could suggest a toddler group you could try together?
Is it a set time very often? - think try and be busy sometimes to phase out the frequency but still meet up now and then

It's fine to back off a bit, but try to do it kindly. Go to groups rather than have intense 1:1 sessions - you could say it's to increase her sociability and interaction skills in preparation for school; and then have little time for other things.
If you can't avoid 1:1 times, then be firm with boundaries if she is mean to DD - say no, stop it etc and leave if necessary, saying that you're going as the girls obviously can't get along today. 'Kids! What can you do?'....which may even help this little girl (and her mum!) realise that if you are nasty to people, they don't want to hang around and just take it.