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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is he BU to just walk out on his job?

32 replies

Kajamite · 06/05/2015 16:14

Hello,

I'm fairly new here, only posted a few times and this is the first time posting in AIBU. I don't know if this is the right place to post but I just don't know what to do.

I'll start by saying DP is dyslexic and has mild frontal lobe damage. He managed to get a full time job through a disability employment agency which was great. He was doing really well when he started.

Th problem now is he feels like he's being bullied by a particular supervisor but the incidents can't really be proven. They included things like spying on him on the security cameras (supervisor was caught doing this and pulled up but nothing came of it) getting on at him for talking to customers too much and actually saying to him he's using his dyslexia as an excuse for not doing a certain task fast enough.

The final straw came today when he was issued with a letter of concern regarding the particular task he was struggling with. They know he was, he had asked for help, and again nothing came of it.

He phoned me today absolutely distraught. He's been going downhill for a while but it's just come to a head and he wanted to just walk out there and then.

I don't really know what my AIBU is, I'm just so frustrated for him and don't know what I can do so any advice would be really appreciated!

Every spare moment he's not working, he's looking for a job

Really sorry this is so long

OP posts:
WeirdCatLady · 06/05/2015 16:23

Does his workplace have a union? If so, I'd join today.

Is it worth him contacting the disability employment agency for some advice?

GraysAnalogy · 06/05/2015 16:24

He can't just walk out, he needs to deal with this as an adult (easier said than done I know)

Is he a member of a union? His first step should be meeting with his manager, with a representative (could the disability company help with this?) and discussing the problems he's having a work and see if they can come up with a mutual plan to resolve them.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 06/05/2015 16:27

How awful for him!

Equality act? This sounds like disability discrimination...

Any union to help?

Sure lawyers in here could give you more advice?

lottiegarbanzo · 06/05/2015 16:30

He needs to arrange a meeting with his manager to address all these concerns. You haven't said anything about him trying to address the issues in a sensible way.

Walking out would be an immature response. He may feel very frustrated but there are better, calmer, step by step ways of addressing this.

ilovesooty · 06/05/2015 16:31

He must feel really unhappy.
He needs to seek the advice of the agency who helped him secure the job and get support to address this with HR.

Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 16:33

Thanks for the replies.

I hadn't thought about a union. I'm not sure if there is one where he works but I'll tell him to look into it.

I'm sorry I should have been more clear that this really is a last straw response. He's tried going through the disability adviser who sat down with him and another supervisor and explained what had been happening, about his disability etc. he's also tried to take it to the manager but he doesn't want to know.

He not normally this immature I promise!

OP posts:
Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 16:34

*he is not - of course

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 06/05/2015 16:36

If he's not already a union member they won't take on his case retrospectively.
If he quits he won't be entitled to benefits.
I really do think he needs to get the disability advisor involved again.

confusedandemployed · 06/05/2015 16:36

This is disability discrimination. He needs to follow the grievance policy, the first step of which is to raise it informally with his manager. If nothing is done, then he raises it formally (in writing). If still nothing is done he raises it with higher management. If still nothing is done he brings a claim for disability discrimination.
Employment tribunals will want to see that he followed all the steps in the company's grievance procedure - although in truth it's not always necessary for discrimination claims, it's always best to play the game.
I hope your DP doesn't just walk out (although I can't say I would blame him) because unless someone stands up to these dickheads they will just carry on with their vile prejudice.
Flowers for you both.

ilovesooty · 06/05/2015 16:37

In fact he may need support to initiate grievance procedures.

ilovesooty · 06/05/2015 16:37

Cross post sorry.

Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 16:39

I'll quickly say my phone is about to die and I won't get to charge it until I get home so apologies if I don't reply for a while!

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/05/2015 16:52

Tell him to give ACAS a ring for advice
www.acas.org.uk/contact

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/05/2015 16:56

He could also try
www.equalityadvisoryservice.com/app/help

3rdrockfromthesun · 06/05/2015 17:04

Would it be an idea to talk to the Disability Employment Agency? They might be able to offer support with the bullying or finding a different job

Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 19:09

I'm home and can finally reply!

I've calmed down a bit as well which definitely helps.

Thank you so much for the replies. I'll definitely get him to take a look at those links Chaz

I think giving the employment agency another try now that he has a physical letter would be a good idea, even just to get help with the grievance process.

Unfortunately he's classed as 'in work' and unless he's on JSA or ELA they're not officially allowed to put him forward for another job.

It's been really affecting his mental health and it's frustrating to watch without being able to really do anything for him.

Anyway I'm making myself angry again. Thanks again Smile

OP posts:
Husbanddoestheironing · 06/05/2015 19:13

If they have issued a 'letter of concern' I would have thought they also have to agree a remedial plan to help him address the problem. I would definitely get some advice from the sources mentioned above

Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 19:33

Really Husband? I didn't even think about that.

He told me what happened and there was no mention of any such plans.

That's another thing to mention to the advisor

OP posts:
3rdrockfromthesun · 06/05/2015 19:45

I work for a disability employment agency and it doesn't matter if you are in work you are still entitled to help from the in work support team. How long ago did he start this job?

Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 20:14

He has been getting some support but not as much as he could be getting. Especially concert the problem's already been raised.

He only started at the end of September last year

OP posts:
Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 20:14

Concert?! *since

OP posts:
Husbanddoestheironing · 06/05/2015 20:50

Certainly I have been involved in discussing these and seeing them be set for someone who had been issued this type of thing. Also it is usual process to allow the person to take a 'friend' to support them at any meeting regarding disciplinary/performance matters. Dyslexia is covered by the equality act, so the company is required to make 'reasonable adjustments' unfortunately there is no definitive list of what these would be, however by getting formal advice and taking relevant info with him it will help them to realise that they can't just scare him into resigning. Also if they haven't agreed any remedial help it will be clear they are not meeting the reasonable adjustment aspect. It is important to keep clear records of dates, times and what is said in case he wants to pursue a constructive dismissal claim. But definitely definitely get proper advice, as I only know what I have seen played out in my experience, and may not have the full picture.

Original poster
Kajamite · 06/05/2015 21:43

Thank you for sharing your experience Husband. I'll tell him everything when he comes home.

I'll sleep on it myself too. It's been a long day Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Kajamite · 07/05/2015 10:16

We had a chat last night when he got home.

I knew he was depressed but I didn't really realise how bad it was, he's very good at hiding it.

I've convinced him to phone the agency and get help with the grievance procedure. He's going to do that today.

He's also going to speak to the advisor and also his GP about the possibility of being signed off for a while.

I showed him this thread. He says thanks everyone Smile

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 07/05/2015 12:07

Agree this sounds like a strong case of Disability Discrimination.
If he doesn't have a union he needs one asap.
No he's not being unreasonable to walk out of his job under those circumstances.
He will be come I'll op with stress make no mistake, and no job is worth that.