To ask if you've ever met a man who showed genuine hatred towards women?

[EmeraldThief]

I only ask because in my local convenience store just now I came face to face with a former work colleague who IMO was just like that. I was the only woman at this place, surrounded by men and never had a single problem until I had to work alongside him. From the off was very arrogant, offhand and attempted to "put me in my place." I took it until one day I snapped, told him he was out of order and I wasn't prepared to be spoken to like that.

The response to that was off the scale, you know how when you usually stand up to bullies they back down, or are supposed to anyway? Well he exploded, red faced, bulging eyes, actually rocking back and forth ranting "who then fuck do YOU think you are?", "what the fuck is wrong with YOU?." amongst other things. I was for once rendered speechless, and was actually scared for my safety. I refused to work with him after that and left shortly aftewards.

It had to be because I was woman. He was was like that with anyone else and was indeed popular with everyone else there. It was bizarre and then first and only time I've ever encountered it. I know he had teenage daughters and I often wonder how he'd feel if a bloke spoke to them like that?

I should hate him for that but I see him for the pathetic creature he is. Short, bald, middle aged and borderline obese. With a really noticeable lisp. i actually pity him.

Sorry for rambling. Has anyone else evee encountered this?

Yes a former boss of mine who was very charismatic and witty. With every new young woman he employed, he would start off being the best mentor they ever had: lots of praise, constructive suggestions of ways to improve, hints of promising career in front of them blah blah. Three months to the day he always turned on them and started ripping them to shreds in public. And if they showed any sign of being bewildered or upset, he only attacked harder. He really liked hurting them - you could see it.

He also had a string of affairs in a very ostentatious way so the mother of his kids would find out. We could then hear him accusing her of being a horrible suspicious person (loudly). She finally dumped him (good woman!) and the last I heard of him he had been charged by the police for punching his pregnant girlfriend. Just a horrid, horrid man.

Oh yes, the owner of a chat forum. Liked women as long as they deferred to him or flirted with him. Banned me a couple of times for calling other posters fucking idiots, then gave me a lifetime ban for 'bullying' (ie laughing at him occasionally) and kicked off several other posters for what appeared to be the terrible crime of being RL friends of mine.
You might be thinking, well SGB is a gobby cow and he probably had a point but he allowed thread after thread which was men slagging off women(sometimes in a generalised way, sometimes complaining about specific women who also used the forum): for being unattractive, for only being interested in money, for being 'arrogant' ie not wanting to have sex with skint unattractive but hugely entitled men. He allowed a couple of other regular (male) forum members to post great long screeds of personal abuse of me, even when other posters complained (I didn't. I'm quite happy for trolls to be given enough rope to hang themselves, and some of these posts were classics of MRA-ish fury especially when I'd been doing things like give them marks out of ten for originality).
His big problem was definitely with women who didn't find him awe-inspiring.

I met a guy when I was in a vulnerable state and I was drunk. He claimed to remember me from a cafe I worked in ten years before (he genuinely seemed to) and went on about how much he fancied me back then. Rather than creeped out I was sucked in for a night and two follow up dates/nights.
The first time we had sex he shamed me by saying I wasn't wet enough to have orgasmed and insinuated I was lying
Despite the fact that it was basically a ONS and I hadn't planned to have sex therefore my legs were unshaved he made a comment about not being used to that.
He talked about how most women were shallow and unintelligent unlike me of course.
He never got past the pedestal stage as the third occasion was properly creepy so I escaped at 5am and took a taxi home but I saw clear indications of the dethroning that would have come next. He had never had a serious relationship at 40 and it was obvious why. He had a sense of entitlement combined with a disdain for women which was off putting.

My FIL has only ever respected his mother, sister and Margaret Thatcher (sadly MIL not worthy of respect). Women are sexual beings only. If he accidentally likes one or enjoys a joke with one, he covers himself by explaining she is "one of the lads". On the whole, women are just stupid, unreasonable, bad drivers and overall worthless members of society.

We get the odd (very odd!) male client at work who expressly asks for a male solicitor. Fine by me - I don't wish to act for misogynists!

Yes, I met quite a few in my old industry.

The worst one was the guy who threatened me with a champagne bottle because I dared to speak up to him

I'm sorry, I've not read the whole thread.

But yes, I think so.

I've also met men who don't think that they hate women, and would be offended to be told so - but who still manage to act in profoundly misogynistic ways, because they truly don't believe that individual women are decent, truthful people.

They believe that most women are lovely, kind and fair. But somehow, they believe the individual women they meet are stupid liars.

I find that almost more frightening.

Oh yes, certainly. Tbh, I've met more men who are just completely foxed/frightened by how women might hold alternative/valid opinions to them and prefer to resort to terrible cliches that allow them to avoid having to really think about how women should be treated (not 'differently', just that we're not mal-formed men misbehaving on purpose to upset them!).
There's an older man living in my town who gives me the right creeps though. At a local sports Club quiz night he wrote all the questions and the arts section managed to feature not one single women, alive or dead (neither did the sports section for that matter). I mentioned it in passing - not realising he was ultimate quiz master - and he went absolutely spare, calling Tracy Emin 'that worthless fucking slut' and aggressively demanding to know if I truly thought women had brought anything of meaning to the world of art. Ever. I backed away quite quickly, not really ready for the vitriol or to have so public an argument with Mr Frothing-at-the-Mouth.
Some years later I was at a heritage open day and was enjoying the view from a local monument that was being guided by some local volunteers. Somehow, and I shall never to my dying day understand how, the conversation with one man turned to Joan of Arc and it seemed to electrify him! He insisted that they shouldn't have burnt her but just 'raped her and thrown her back to the French as no one would have bothered listening to her then'!! Have to admit my blood went a bit cold and I realised that I was once again facing Mr Frothy.
The first experience I could say - though it'd be unreasonable - that I provoked him or caught him on a bad day. The second was just pure unmistakable misogynistic bile from someone looking to shoehorn it into a perfectly normal (Joan of Arc-based!) conversation.
I fear for our third meeting. This time I won't be too shocked or paralysed by politeness in company to tell him what he can go and do with himself...

SunsetsAndStarlings I don't know why so many men are just despicable towards women...and then they take personal offense that some women hate men as a group??? Well, gee, I wonder why!*

Wait are you saying that it's acceptable to hate one gender as a group based on the actions of some of them? If you are then maybe consider this as a possible explanation for why some men seem to dislike all women. Maybe they've been treated appallingly by a woman or multiple women in the past and as a result now hate women as a group. I don't think that's acceptable, just like I don't think it's acceptable for women to hate men as a group just because they've had an experience with a bad man or men. Bigoted attitudes ought to be left in the past tbh.

I can think of three men I've met who were proper misogynists. First, G. A chef I worked with, my boss. G professed to love women, but he only loved women who looked a very specific way and behaved subserviently and laughed at his jokes. He was abusive and foul tempered, and he used awful language about women. I hated working with him, though he didn't notice me much as I was quiet and stayed out of his way. I wasn't attractive in the right way to be on his radar sexually, so I was never a disappointment. But several colleagues and his boss were less lucky.

The second was L. L viewed women as sex objects and the point of them was to titillate him. He saw me as ugly but funny, so was not interested in me sexually, but would talk to me about women he fancied. Constantly. He was a housemate. I couldn't wait to leave that houseshare...

The third was R. He was a friend of my DP. He was gay, and I came to realise that he hated women. He hated me, though tolerated me for a while as he liked my DP. I learned that his mum was very strange and combined being horribly neglectful to him in childhood, with neglect and neediness in adulthood. He told me about how he came out to her, and her reaction was all about her. I felt terribly sorry for him, but he was horrible and utterly vile about women. He made horrible comments, within earshot, about girls and women, constantly. The language he used was abusive and foul, only about women.

Incidentally, none of these men were obese, middle aged or ugly, in fact they were all rather handsome. As an ugly, middle aged, obese person (though not balding, yet!), it makes me a bit uncomfortable to hear these descriptions in relation to these men's behaviours.

Sadly this thread is proof that hate just breeds more hate judging by some of the descriptions.

This thread is proof that hate breeds more hate judging by some of the descriptions

Oops double posted!

Yes, unfortunately :( these people are everywhere IME.

My FIL. He thinks that all women should act as domestic slaves to men, and is terrified and furious with women in equal measures. He doesn't like 'strong' women apparantly...

I've met a few sexists, but as for misogynists, one definitely.

A teenager in my school whose view of women was totally twisted to the point he objected to being taught by female teachers on the grounds no woman should presume to have authority over him or could anything to teach him.

He's now a Catholic priest.

Yes, my ex-husband. He spent two years pretending to be a Guardian reading liberal who believed God was a woman. I read this as part of his feminist credentials but in fact it was so that he could blame 'her' for everything that went wrong in his life. Shortly after we were married the downward decline into domestic abuse began. I left when he tried to kill me. He constantly told me it was my fault becuase I was a woman.

He consistently refuses to take responsibility for anything. He has walked out of numerous jobs over the years because of fall outs with his female managers. It is, of course, all their fault, as they are completely unreasonable. He has also managed to fall out with his mother and sisters.

I despair, I honestly do.

A friend of mine has a husband who has a good line in put downs - usually directed at his wife, or other women. He is openly rude to her in front of other people, criticising endlessly.
When she met him, she was independent and assertive.
She now has a tendency to defer to him in everything- which is what he likes.
We recently bumped in to his previous girlfriend who was evidently traumatised by her experiences with him....

What a sad thread this is. And what a lot of similar character traits.

Interesting question. I actually think this may apply to my father.

He'd be appalled at the suggestion of course - he loves women, calls them darling/love/pet all the time, comments on their looks constantly. But he can't tolerate strong women who express their views and 'disrespect' him. (He can't tolerate me, for example!)

He refers to grown women as 'wee girls' (he's Irish). He won't accept any situation where a woman is in charge, in some way (other than domestically, of course). He once told me that my problem was that my husband 'didn't put me over his knee'. He's pretty nasty really

And my brother has grown up to be just the same.

Fear seems to be mentioned an awful lot in these posts.

A fair few. I work for my LA and the amount of men who refuse to be told anything by a woman, particularly a young one is quite disconcerting. I'm not particularly forceful or uppity either so don't think it's anything to do with my character.

Sadly, I have met several teenage boys who refuse to respect or listen to any female member of staff. One was never to be alone with female staff from year 7, I used to co teach a class of his, I could say, "well actually the correct way to do this is..." He would ignore me and then go and ask the other male teacher who would tell him exactly the same thing and he'd do it. He refused to respond to the register if a female did it. One of his girlfriend's friends came to me and reported that he had assaulted her. Police were involved. Apparently he still goes about saying it was all her fault.

Sometimes there is an undercurrent of contempt and disrespect but unless this escalates I think it's best ignored and do what you were going to do anyway as if their approval means nothing, which it does.

If anyone went out and out apeshit scary near me I would get the hell away and report to nearest authorities.

They get their kicks from the fuel we give to their fires. Not easy to ignore if you work next to one though I do appreciate that.