to say don't get pregnant if you are going to be disappointed re. gender?

[Mintyy]

I'm not am I?

I agree worldwide boys are favoured but I can't agree that's it's the case in the UK I'm afraid.

No l don't because l was talking about anti-dd not ds. And l said l wasn't having any other dc and wasn't disappointed i wasnt having a ds.

Er, no, that's not what you said.

I couldn't imagine myself with a ds. And l don't want a ds.

In the context of this discussion - where many have said their boys had been treated as inferior products when clearly any mother wants a girl - can you see how that comes across?

I'd have loved to have a daughter. I'm equally loving having a son, and looking forward to another. I had a few odd moments when I realised I'd never have a daughter, but then realised it was society's sold ration as much as mine that bothered me.

I also said why cant we be delighted in what we have.

I'll say it again and you might want to read it slowly to take it in...I'm not having any more dc, and as dd2 is as said a girl I'm not disappointed with what I've got. Would l try for dc3? No, because now my family is complete I can't imagine myself with a ds, and don't want one. As in, no sex disappointment here.

That's quite a bit clearer than your previous post with its accompanying bald statement without information about your future procreative plans, yes (though ouch, I'm not sure I'll ever recover from the cutting sarcasm).

I still don't accept your assertion than MN is anti-daughter. Any examples you'd care to share?

For example - if I'd said 'we recently found out we're having a second son and I'm thrilled. I don't want a daughter', would that have counted as anti-daughter in your book?

I suffered badly from gender disappointment when I found out the sex of my first baby, and have posted about it on here a few times. My first baby was a girl. Words cannot describe how much I wanted a boy; I was devastated. It's not something you can admit to in many circles; hardly any in fact. TBH I had no idea of the strength of my feelings until I got pregnant (by accident)- It really shocked me.

I am not ashamed that I felt this way.

I now know I was suffering from ante-natal depression. All my fears and anxieties about having a child were projected onto the gender of the baby. I hated, hated women who were pregnant with boys as I so desperately wanted one. I didn't like girls and felt that my life was ruined. I thought that I would never accept it. Any support I could find was geared towards women who wanted girls but were carrying boys, which made me feel much worse.

I had counselling with the ante-natal counsellor attached to the hospital; interestingly, my counsellor said that she had seen lots of couples, particularly mothers who had experienced gender disappointment after years of infertility, miscarriages and IVF. In a way, she said that they had had more time to construct an image of 'their child' in their head, and had naturally ascribed it a gender. Most commonly, the imagined child was a girl and they were pregnant with twin boys. I was green with envy at the thought of them having boys. I felt like a failure who had spoiled my life.

I had to face up to a lot of issues of my own- including my own relationship with my mother and issues I had with my own gender. It was my biggest soul-search to date, and one I am very glad I did- I am glad that I found out the sex of the baby before she was born. I was able to deal with issues I didn't even know I had.

And then she was born... and she wasn't a boy, but she wasn't 'a girl' either. She was mine. She was DD1.

I still felt disappointed, but every day the disappointment lessened and was replaced by love for her. It wasn't an instantaneous process, but I fell utterly and hopelessly in love with her in a way which I could never have anticipated.

I loved her a million times more than an imaginary son- but I had no way of knowing that until she was born.

I now have two fantastic girls, and couldn't be happier with my family. It feels complete. We're done

Jassy if you said in your first post you weren't having any more dc than no, it would be nice to read that you were happy with what you've got.

I have two separate friends who have 3 dc as they were trying for the opposite sex and both didn't get it. Now my fb feed is filled with '3 dd/ds - truly blessed' bullshit that is just sad.