To be fed up with people insisting I will have so much free time when DD goes to school

[TheAssassinsGuild]

I am a part time student/SAHM. DD is at nursery 3 days a week. The hours are 8 - 6, she gets breakfast, lunch and tea. No half term or school holidays - they close for about 3 weeks a year (plus bank holidays). When she is at nursery I get a full day to do whatever it is that I need to do.

When she goes to school, yes it will be 5 days a week, but the hours are considerably shorter. I have to factor in breakfast and tea (obviously). And then there's all the sodding school holidays.

How does this add up to me having more 'free time'?!?!?!

It's not childless people who comment on the life of leisure I will be leading, that I could understand. It's people with kids, and young kids, who should know that the transition from nursery to school can be a bit of a shock to the system. When I patiently point out what will actually happen, they look bemused and seem not to really 'get it'.

I'm getting really fucked off with it to be honest. Not only the false assumption that I will have more time at my disposal, but the implication that this time will be 'free' and I will be lounging around and 'won't have anything to do'. 'What on earth are you going to do with yourself?' is a question I get asked. I'm working flipping hard on my studies (postgrad research), as well as shouldering the vast majority of childcare and domestic stuff. Nope. Can't imagine what I might be filling my days with.

Or is it me? Am I missing something? Will I be bored out of my mind as the endless hours crawl by...???

Oh god someone working hard to get further education so privileged yes of course, all handed on a plate, no graft involved! It is work! Plus think it was. It psychology it was PHILOSOPHY! Studying with children and no childcare or partner is hard if not harder than a job.

You will have more free time. How could you not?

Madreloco - I haven't thus far said anything in response to your posts. But I really don't think that from my post I can be accused of 'endless whinging' or that you can conclude that I have a 'privileged life'.

Well done on your own degree. If you have time management or other study tips that you would care to pass on, I would be very happy to gear them.

madreloco the tone of your post is incredibly angry and unpleasant, I can't imagine why you'd have this reaction to someone else's life unless you have some personal insecurity about these issues.

You're also being ridiculous to claim you know "exactly how stressful" OP's situation is. Some people find doing GCSE's incredibly stressful, I didn't, but I'm certainly not about to point out to them how easy I found it and little right they have to vent once in a while.

You have no idea how "privileged" OP's life is or how hard she worked to get into the position she is in at the moment and how emotionally invested she is in her studies. OP is clearly stressed at the moment, perhaps in her position you would be sailing through without a care in the world. By all means have a gold star but what exactly offends you about OP getting a bit of moral support?

Plus why is it anyone else's business??
I hate people who try and control how others run their lives, they're often the ones who are bitter when something good happens from the hard work!

You can't read an angry tone in text, you're just projecting. You having no imagination is not my problem.
I do know how privileged she is, she's told us.

The salient point here is OP complaining about people saying she will have free time when she does in fact have lots of free time. Very few people are lucky enough to be able to study part time and sahm part time, and OP should try counting her blessings instead of moaning about how tough it is to be in such a good position. There are many women who would kill for it.

I'm not the bitter one here, OP is. I'm still studying part time, and working part time, and parenting lots of children, and I know how lucky I am, and how privileged. I wouldn't dream of whining about it to people who aren't able to access such education, who have no choice but to work full time.

You can't read an angry tone in text I assume you're not studying anything involving literary analysis. Your tone comes across as angry. Saying "fuck off" for example will generally be interpreted as angry whether in text or speech, as will sarcasm.

Studying part time does not make you privileged. Even those that are in some ways very privileged need a vent and some moral support sometimes. If you personally don't feel able to give it by all means jog on but some of the rest of us are more than happy to offer support. What exactly offends you about this?

By your logic very few people in the UK should ever be able to ask for any moral support since they are all leading lives in which they are guaranteed a supply of fresh water. OP has suffered periods of ill health and for personal reasons is very emotionally invested in these studies and really wants to succeed. Not being privy to her personality or her past you have no idea how stressful these factors make her life or how hard she's worked to be able to access that level of education.

She isn't bitter she needs a bit of a vent, it sounds like you do too. I wouldn't begrudge you that. This is a website for people in the first world, with first world problems. Most of the problems here are fairly trivial (wedding gifts, personal arguments, should I buy a treadmill, I haven't had enough sleep) and they're usually written by people whose lives could be considered privileged.

If you would like to compile a list of exactly what criteria someone needs to fulfil to in order to have the right to vent once in a while it might be clearer to everyone who should be allow to post and who shouldn't.

Just by the by, I have an MPhil and it's definitely not from Oxford (it is from a RG university, however).

Anyway, YABU. Because you will have time. To fill in whichever manner you choose. I am so dreading filling my current non working days once dc2 starts school that I am hoping to work more!

Madreloco - I'm not bitter.

Fred and Two - thank you.

Manchester - thanks as well. Hope you are right!

YANBU, it's a horrible lie.

Manchestermummy - well good for you!

Not only are you incredibly intelligent, organised, and confident, but full of charm and modesty too.