To not want my son to take up boxing?

[VivienScott]

My son is 9.

My ex wants him to have boxing lessons as soon as he is able to. I have said I am totally against it and under no circumstances would I allow him to go. I hate boxing, I've studied and volunteered with people with traumatic brain injurry, many of whom were ex-boxers. I know he damage it can do regardless of the safety equiptment used, I think it perpetuates and normalises violence and basically I just don't like it and certainly don't want my child doing it. My ex has said he doesn't care and will take him regardless. My son seems to be undecided which I think is down to him knowing how passionately we both feel about our oppsing views and trying to appease both of us.

AIBU to not want him to do boxing and is there anything I can do about it?

Lurking - Sigh. I'm not surprised you're conflicted, was your FIL a cage fighter or something? Because "Two men, beating each other unconscious" is not boxing. You're not the first to confuse an olympic discipline with a pub brawl, but I assure you, the two are very different.

OP - Why does your ex want his 9 yo DS to fight? Is it a bonding thing? Have you discussed why he's so keen and you're so uncomfortable with it? Can you meet him halfway? How about a test period of training - no sparring, no fights - for, say, half a year, and then see if anything's changed?

Either we believe that violence in all of it's forms is bad, can never be justified, and we as a species should strive to eradicate it from ourselves. Or accept that it is a part of who we are and manage it safely, control and regulate it?

I think a good instructor - Boxing, Judo whatever, will recognise who has the ability to fight and who hasn't. A Boxer/Jodo (ist) ?? May be very good technically and in their fitness, but might lack the necessary aggression needed to fight competitively.

Just saw your update. So you emotionally blackmailed your 9yo son into refusing his dad's idea because you told him he'd be responsible for you getting injured otherwise? Nice.

It's actually the threat of me boxing and getting hurt that has had the biggest influence on his decision to refuse to go along with his fathers wishes and take up the sport, bless him.

And that's straight out of the "how to fuck your child up with your batshit unstable parenting style" book. Good one oo!

So was this "dilemma" about worry for your son's health and safety, or a pissing contest with your ex?

What anout a compromise? For example karate or wrestling?