To be really upset that other Mums were rolling their eyes at my child's behaviour this morning. --And should I have said something?--

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In fairness, I can see their point. They have their new-ish born sitting in front of them being generally perfect and my ds is running around enjoying all the toys. I am sure he does appear to be boisterous to them.

But it really upsets me when I can see them making a judgement call on his behaviour. Particularly as it seems so unfair and they are almost doing it in front of my face.

Should I have said something? Or have you ever said something good that I could copy next time? Or have you regretted saying something?

He wasn't being "spirited" was he?

Meh, I wouldn't get too wound up about it personally.

I'm sure you can understand how protective parents of newborns feel over their babies and there is nothing more intimidating than a big toddler when you have a teeny baby.

Toddlers are generally boisterous though and eye rolling is a bit immature . I wonder what these people were doing at a toddler group??

However, if several sets of parents were doing the "oh no not him again" looks it might mean yours is a little more boisterous than others. Nothing to roll eyes or worry about though, just toddlers being toddlers and parents being parents IMHO!

Oh and the "they'll get a shock when their babies are toddlers" comments are a bit nasty. No need to be so gleeful about other parents potentially struggling with toddler behaviour when it comes and just because you have a toddler it doesn't mean you wouldn't get a little bit irrationally protective over your newborn.

You need a couple of one liners like -

Oh goodness I remember the days when they just sat still and looked cute, I hope you are taking notes, you have all this to come.

or

Is that your first baby? Aw bless, they are so sweet when they are that age and immobile. At least toddlers don't wake you up in the night.

Running about, not sharing etc is all fine and perfectly normal. I disagree that screaming indoors is fine - there's certainly noise, enjoyment and chatter at toddler groups I go to but screaming is really not usual.

We were at soft play the other day - it was busy and noisy but fine, then one kid started screaming. Before long two or three others had joined in and it had turned from fine to unbearable. I hate it (and yes, I have had a 2yo and he used to get in trouble for screaming).

...there is nothing more intimidating than a big toddler when you have a teeny baby.

Really? Nothing is more intimidating than an older, bigger baby?

I'm not brave enough to say 'boys are like dogs' in case I call upon the full force of MN right-on wrath

I think "kids are like dogs" would be more appropriate I often take my two for "walkies" - and they're well past the toddler stage!

Oh and sympathies OP. DC3 was a screamer. Yes I used to tell him to stop, take him out early if it got too much etc but it carried on regardless until he got better at talking and could say how excited/happy/frustrated/cross he was.

Children need to be taught that yelling and screaming at the tops of their voices and being a total nuisance to other folk is not acceptable.

Oh bollocks to that! Most toddlers and preschoolers need to let off some steam occasionally and charge around bellowing. And where better than a toddler group? The clue is in the name.

If the hall where the group is held is big enough then there should be a separate area for small babies. At the group I used to take DS to the "baby zone" was barricaded off with chairs. The understanding was that parents must keep their toddlers out, and immobile babies outside the zone were liable to trampled by toddlers doing what toddlers do.

With regard to toddler "sharing", it also helps to remember the difference between sharing and taking turns. If the toy is something that can only be played with by one child at a time, they shouldn't have to surrender it immeadiately in the name of "sharing"! Toddlers seem to get horribly mixed messages in these situations in the name of politeness. Hearing "you must not snatch, but if another child tries to take something you must hand it over straight away or else you're bad at sharing" must be very confusing to small people.

not so funnily enough, I almost explained in my post that I obviously didn't mean there is nothing more intimidating etc etc, and thought "nah nobody is going to take that literally", but you have proved me wrong. I should have said "a big toddler can be very intimidating when you have a teeny baby". Ok now?

With regard to toddler "sharing", it also helps to remember the difference between sharing and taking turns. If the toy is something that can only be played with by one child at a time, they shouldn't have to surrender it immeadiately in the name of "sharing"! Toddlers seem to get horribly mixed messages in these situations in the name of politeness. Hearing "you must not snatch, but if another child tries to take something you must hand it over straight away or else you're bad at sharing" must be very confusing to small people.

So agree with this ^^

It is so unfair when they look older than they are. One of mine was huge, at playgroup one day he got the "I expected more of you" so I said, "Why he is the youngest one here." PG leader said he wasn't and I said he was, several times. Eventually she went and got the register and discovered that yes he was the youngest and some of the little ones were 18 months older than him.

The joy of being in adult school (including VAT) at 9 was another issue.

adult shoes not adult school, that would be a bit weird.

Toddler group is supposed to be noisy as there's lots if toddler running around just playing. Sure, they do the odd inappropriate thing such as snatching or pushing or em, mop waving but it's how the parents deal with it that's important. If you speak to them and explain that the behaviour was inappropriate and keep a beady eye out to ensure it's actually stopped then that's absolutely fine and normal and ok. Nobody expects toddler group to be quiet and serene.

But I had a problem a few month ago with my 6mth old on the baby mat crawling all over the other babies and snatching toys. What can you do? The immobile Buddhas sit and cry and the parents get annoyed but what to do? 6mth is too young to understand that they're not suppose to use other babies as a step. Obviously I pick them up and move them but they just do it again. I've 4 and they all crawled at 5/6mths and I've had this problem each time. She's 11mths now and running around being bashed over by 2/3yr olds so I guess is getting her comeuppance.

I'm not saying toddlers should not make some noise. But screeching yelling and charging round isn't acceptable when other children are present indoors. In a park yes. Just seems that people have different ideas as to what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't. But people should be considerate of others. What's the point in going to a group like this if you come back with a raging headache.

Maybe we differ in our experience and expectations of toddler group. The one I used to take my son to was in a very large church hall in London. As I said, there was a "baby zone" in one corner surrounded by chairs, and another reading and craft area in another corner, but the rest of the hall was filled with ride on toys and soft play equipment and charging around and yelling was positively encouraged!

There was a separate baby group on a different day for under-ones only (mostly PFBs), so the only babies at the toddler group were younger siblings of toddlers (who were probably more resistant to noise and chaos anyway, and who's mothers certainly had more realistic expectations of toddler behaviour).

I do, of course, believe in being considerate of others in places that are not toddler-centric. But I'm all for indoor spaces where small children can be noisy and run around, especially in places like London where the weather is frequently bad and many families don't have a garden.

I had the same problem with ds1 being really tall for his age (and me looking very young for my age, but ds2 sleepless ways have put paid to that!!)
I got lots of comments, often not said directly to my face but in such a way they knew I'd hear. I got fed up of telling people his real age and seeing the surprised or disbelieving looks.
Your ds sounds just like mine - full of energy and beans. Surely a toddler group is an ideal place for him to run some of it off - mop incidents aside.
The irony of it is ds2 is small for his age and now I have the opposite problem...

I'm laughing reminiscently. DS was - frankly still is - enormous. 4-5 year old clothes at 2, that kind of thing. And hugely energetic.

My absolutely favourite-ever toddler group? A huge school gym-sized hall in the US, open most days in the (bitterly cold) winter.

No toys provided, bring your own wheels - ride on, push along, scoot with. Jolly music, played quite loud. A kind of tiny sized roller disco but with more variety of wheels....

Lots of screaming, huge joy. DS walked at 9 months and we used to take along his push-along truck, then his Galt wooden trike, and he's be happy for ages. Walk, run, scream, shout, push, scoot, go home. A sort of indoor park for use during bad weather. Bliss.

That sounds A-MAZING teacher! Don't suppose it was in Oklahoma was it?

(I did once try to get him an 'I'm 3' T-shirt, because Iwas tired of being asked why he wasn't at school. they didn't make them in age 6 size, so i had to give up....)

But Vivienne, out toddler group is full of ride on toys and noisy piano/keyboard type stuff. They are all just zooming around having fun. Then they all calm down for a snack then we have story and songs. You rarely see them still running around nosily during story; they're sitting and listening. So I'd say pretty appropriate behaviour on the whole.

And what about my 6mth old? Should I have removed her to the naughty step or sag her down and discussed her behaviour? All I could do wax remove her and put her down somewhere else. So I guess I caused most angst having a toddler running around letting off steam and a crazy climbing 6mth old.
I never felt that pfb stuff with my first so it always bemuses me.

What was wrong with your toddler's behaviour.
Okay he was boisterous. He's 2. It's part of their job to be boisterous and playful.
Oh it's alright them being smug with their newborns but as a pp said they'll learn soon enough.

I had all that with Dc2, teacher. Not because he was big but he was a 9.5mth walker and climbing up big slides by 11mths. You'd always get the parents of toddling 18-24mth olds practically lifting them onto the slide and holding them all the way down. DS pushed a child out the way once at the bottom of the steps and I was straight over there to apologise. The mum was annoyed but accepted the apology then turned to her DS and said 'but you're only 2 darling, sometimes bigger boys push in.' He was 16mths.

I'm with you on the tall toddler thing. A child once made my DS cry at a toddler group. She was being really horrid to him. Her grandmother told DS to "toughen up"

Five minutes later the girl started on another wee boy and granny told her off for picking on a baby. That "baby" was three weeks older than my DS.

It doesn't sound like your boy was doing anything wrong OP. I run a toddler group and our rules are basically that unless a child is deliberately hurtful or repeatedly causes trouble then chances are he/she's fine. We even set aside five minutes after everything is cleared away and we've had a sing song so the bigger ones can run around the hall shouting and burning off energy while the carers lock up and pack the wee ones up.