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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset that other Mums were rolling their eyes at my child's behaviour this morning. --And should I have said something?--

74 replies

spad · 30/04/2015 12:51

In fairness, I can see their point. They have their new-ish born sitting in front of them being generally perfect and my ds is running around enjoying all the toys. I am sure he does appear to be boisterous to them.

But it really upsets me when I can see them making a judgement call on his behaviour. Particularly as it seems so unfair and they are almost doing it in front of my face.

Should I have said something? Or have you ever said something good that I could copy next time? Or have you regretted saying something?

OP posts:
cailindana · 30/04/2015 12:53

Ok, firstly was your son's behaviour unruly or disruptive? Secondly, are you sure they were actually rolling their eyes at his behaviour? How did you know that's what they were doing, were you watching them and behaving in an anxious way?

formerbabe · 30/04/2015 12:55

I always see parents with their newborn pfb looking appalled at perfectly normal toddler behaviour.

They'll learn soon enough Wink

HereIAm20 · 30/04/2015 12:57

I know. I remember when I went out with friends with new borns being appalled at toddlers. But by the time ours were toddlers we learnt to ignore their normal toddler behaviour.

If you felt it was over and above ie actually naughtiness then you'd have said something. If just regular behaviour they'll soon learn!!

BunnyLebowski · 30/04/2015 12:57

It depends what you mean by boisterous really.

Him running around and playing energetically = fine.

Him being rough with other kids, not sharing, not waiting his turn etc = not fine.

bakingtins · 30/04/2015 12:58

In what context? Was it appropriate for your DS to be running around or was it disrupting an activity?

Tizwailor · 30/04/2015 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve · 30/04/2015 13:02

Was he enjoying all the toys appropriately, or was he trampling on everything/one in his path and barging in front of other kids who were already playing with a certain toy?

I'd be reluctant to roll my eyes at other unseen parents on your behalf if he was indeed being "such a boy, isn't he" and you were doing nothing to encourage him to take turns and be respectful of others.

AuntyMag10 · 30/04/2015 13:03

If you can see their point then they're nbu are they?

CupidStuntSurvivor · 30/04/2015 13:05

You're being really vague about his behaviour OP...was be being unruly/naughty or just playing?

momtothree · 30/04/2015 13:07

I have been caught doing this ..... however I am usually thinking about my kids having done the same ....so its a reminder of their younger years (and secreatly happy they have stopped doing the madness that is play group) so may not have been mean or judgemental.

Gruntfuttock · 30/04/2015 13:07

Where was this happening, OP? You didn't say.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 30/04/2015 13:12

And were their newborns asleep? Was your DS being overly noisy near them?

CupidStuntSurvivor · 30/04/2015 13:14

If he was misbehaving, could they have been making a judgement call on your lack of reaction rather than his behaviour?

Original poster
spad · 30/04/2015 13:23

He was being a normal toddler boy. Honestly.

It is a Toddler Group held in a large hall and running about is fine. I think formerbabe has got it one really.

There was a bit of non sharing with other non sharing Mums. And he was a bit in appropriate with a toy mop but I dealt with it and he did say sorry.

He is tall for his age so I am sure that people think he is older than two. And I am tired because I have an eight month old and I am six months pregnant.

I don't care what they say about me but rolling their eyes about him in front of him seemed to much. And I know they were doing it.

OP posts:
Original poster
spad · 30/04/2015 13:26

'There was a bit of non sharing with other non sharing toddlers.' Was what I meant to say. And the Mums involved were very normal and fine about it.

OP posts:
Tizwailor · 30/04/2015 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarvellousMarbles · 30/04/2015 13:29

really want to know what inappropriate behaviour with a toy mop was!

Mine would have ridden it like a horse because they've never seen me mop the floor

Gruntfuttock · 30/04/2015 13:32

"And he was a bit in appropriate with a toy mop but I dealt with it and he did say sorry."

What did he do with it?

Original poster
spad · 30/04/2015 13:34

He waved it in a babies face. (A nearly one year old rather than a newborn.) What pissed me off upset me is that I saw at least three or four Mums pulling, 'not him again' faces.

OP posts:
Original poster
spad · 30/04/2015 13:35

And we are doing that toddler thing of high pitched screaming so it isn't like we sneak in to places.

OP posts:
BathshebaDarkstone · 30/04/2015 13:35

formerbabe, oh that's so true. They'll get a real shock in about 18 months! Grin

rallytog1 · 30/04/2015 13:37

I feel your pain on tall toddlers spad.

A mother once accosted me because my dd hadn't been "very welcoming" to her child at playgroup. I think my dd had taken a toy out of her dd's hand, then accidentally fallen over on her. When I pointed out that my dd was 18mo, it turned out the other mum thought she was at least 2.5...

Unlike some on this thread, I also think non-sharing toddlers are fine in moderation. They need to make mistakes to learn and also need to learn to deal with people who won't share. You also can't constantly hover over them at a playgroup.

AuntyMag10 · 30/04/2015 13:40

Well I guess they did have reason to be annoyed. At least your ds wouldn't have noticed though.

lotsoftoast · 30/04/2015 13:40

Have a read of this....the baby mothers are in for a shock! anotherbun1.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/dear-mother-at-playgroup.html?m=1

BarbarianMum · 30/04/2015 13:49

Oh I remember comparing my cute stationary 1 year old ds1 with other people's rowdy toddlers and tutting internally (would never have been so rude as to roll my eyes though). Strangely by the time ds2 was that age I was a deal more tolerant.

It's ignorance, OP, but they won't stay ignorant forever. Smile

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